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I want to ask her a million questions. How could you let this happen? Why did you leave her alone with your son if you knew he wasn’t fit to care for her? Instead, I remind myself that humans aren’t perfect. Mistakes happen. In a month or two, Jade will hopefully be no worse for wear.
I tug a chair close to the bed and start to outline what kind of care Jade will need once she’s discharged. I tell her grandmother about the outpatient burn clinic that’s connected to the hospital. Jade could go elsewhere for treatment, but I’d prefer if she continued to see physicians in our hospital. That way I can check to make sure her grandmother is bringing her in for regular visits; it’s the only real control I have in a situation like this. I only want what’s best for Jade.
I’m nearly done when Jade interrupts me.
“Where is Dr. Natalie?” she asks, looking out into the hall. “I don’t see her.”
“I think she’s eating lunch,” I tell her, though I actually have no idea where Natalie is. I’m trying hard to not know where she is at every waking moment.
“Oh.” Jade’s shoulders sag. “I want to show her my new picture.”
I see the paper she’s pointing to on her nightstand. It’s filled with intense toddler scribbles that don’t amount to much of anything, though there are a few wobbly circles thrown in for good measure. “I’ll tell her to come by and see it. She’ll be impressed.”
She beams in approval.
Back in the hall, I scan the unit for Natalie and find her at the small coffee station, refilling the water in the Keurig. She works from sunup to sundown and this is how she’s using her precious downtime during lunch.
“Can’t one of the interns or med students do that?”
She jumps when she hears my voice. “Oh.” She places her hand over her heart. “You.”
I try not to scowl as she turns back around and continues her task.
“Yes. Sure. I could have one of them do it, but it only takes a second and I hate seeing it like this. It’s not a big deal for me, but the overnight nurses shouldn’t have to deal with an empty water dispenser, you know?”
Only Natalie. I swear to God. I’d kiss her if I could.
“Right. Well, Jade asked for you.”
Her face lights up. “Oh? Okay. I’ll go see her right now.”
She wipes off the counter with a napkin, straightens the Styrofoam cups, and then brushes right past me on her way to see Jade.
I stop the first resident I pass in the hall and gesture to the coffee station. “Keep that stocked and clean. It’s part of your job now.”
He nods, flustered. “Right. Yes. Okay, sir.”Thursday night, I’m at the townhouse, making myself a sandwich for dinner when the front door opens. Natalie walks into the kitchen, having come straight from work. Her scrub top is slightly askew. Her hair hangs down her back, loose and wild. A particularly unruly curl falls across her forehead and she blows it off with a huff. Her bag is sagging off her shoulder, laden with whatever crap she took with her to the hospital today. I have to tamp down the urge to round the island and take it from her as she struggles to tug it back up higher.
She has her phone sandwiched between her ear and shoulder as she rifles through mail. She sighs, sounding worn out as she starts to pass in front of the island, dropping the letters and junk mail onto the edge. “Sounds good. I’m home now, Noah, so I gotta go.”
Noah must say something because she stops and glances over at me out of the corner of her eye.
“Yes. He’s here,” she says, not exactly sounding pleased about it.
Noah continues on his end of the line then she rolls her eyes, pulls her phone away from her face, and hits the speakerphone button.
“Fine. There. He can hear you now.”
“Hey Connor,” Noah says.
“Hey man.”
I twist the bread bag closed, knot it, and then reach for a tomato out of the bowl near the sink. I test that it’s ripe and, once satisfied, I grab a knife out of a nearby drawer.
“I just wanted to check in and see how things are going with you two,” Noah continues.
Natalie tips her head skyward, obviously trying to overcome her annoyance. “You don’t have to check on us. What exactly do you think is going to happen while you’re away?”
“I don’t know. World War III?” Noah teases.
Natalie and I lock eyes, and truly, all-out global combat doesn’t feel that far off.
She glances away and assures him everything is fine.
What a little liar.
Noah must see right through her weak assurance.
“Connor, are you being nice to my sister?”
“No,” I reply flatly.
He laughs, thinking I’m kidding.
