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“No. Someone get me a thermometer.”
An intern rushes over with one and I take my temperature. It’s only slightly elevated, but still well within the normal range.
“Sit out during rounds,” Connor says, rolling Lois’ chair over to me. “We can assess how you feel after.”
It’s hard for me to stay quiet in this moment. This isn’t Connor, the man I’m currently dating. This is Connor, an attending in the hospital and therefore someone whose authority I can’t question openly, so I nod and stay silent.
I feel bad for the nurse aide who comes by to grab the soiled trash can. I apologize profusely but she smiles and tells me she’s seen a lot worse. Lois surprises me by bringing me a cup of cold water and a pack of crackers.
Of course, she accompanies it with a crass remark about how I ruined her trash can. Only Lois. She pats my shoulder and I sit quietly, listening to Connor lead grand rounds around the BICU. I try to take stock of how I feel. Overall, normal. Truly. I nibble on the crackers Lois brought over, and that settles my stomach even more. I chalk it up to nerves about tonight and assure Connor I’m good to scrub in on my surgeries. I can’t afford a sick day. The children I have on my schedule today need skin grafts. I don’t want to chance any delays.
Connor nods, and I’m thankful he isn’t going to demand I take the day off. It’s my body. I know my limits. Still, he assigns an extra resident to me as well as an intern. Their extra help means my two cases go quicker than normal, which I’m thankful for because I feel slightly dehydrated by the end of it. Of course, the heat doesn’t help. I’m sweating bullets as I scrub out and yank off my surgical cap and mask. I drink an entire Gatorade in the locker room and instead of joining everyone in the doctors’ lounge for lunch, I head to a call room so I can lie down.
That’s where Connor finds me.
I know it’s him because he doesn’t say a word as he steps in and closes the door behind him. He rounds the bunk, and I tilt my head up to meet his eyes.
His eyebrows are drawn together as he assesses me from head to toe. When his eyes find mine again, there’s worry etched in his blue gaze.
“How do you feel?”
“Not bad. I promise.” He leans down to feel my forehead for a temperature and I realize he’s holding his stethoscope and a blood pressure cuff in his other hand. No doubt he’s come to give me a checkup. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
He nods, content with my lack of fever. “Jade is coming in today for an outpatient appointment. I was going to try to make it over to the clinic to see how her hand is healing up.”
I’m happy to hear that. “It should be looking a lot better.”
He nods and leans down to kiss my hair. “Rest up.”
His hand lingers a moment on my cheek before he has to leave.
It’s not five minutes later when a melodic knock knock-knock knock knock…knock knock sounds on the door followed by a familiar voice.
“Heard you caused a scene during rounds this morning,” Lindsey says as she walks into the room.
I sit up in bed and glare at her, unamused.
“Phew. You look pale. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I just had one of those weird bugs that comes on quick in the morning and then you feel fine once you empty the contents of your stomach.”
She narrows her eyes. “Hmm, I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about. Stomach bugs usually last twenty-four hours. Connor said you didn’t have a fever. Do you have any stomach cramping? Diarrhea?”
“No. None.”
She looks down at my stomach, so then I look down at my stomach. There’s nothing to see beyond a wrinkled navy scrub top.
“I suppose there’s always the chance you could be pregnant,” she says.
I stand, leap for the trash can in the corner of the room, and dry heave.I refuse to even entertain the idea of pregnancy. It’s not possible. Okay, well…technically, yes, it’s possible, but the odds are in my favor. I don’t know the exact statistic off the top of my head for getting pregnant after only having sex with your partner ONE time, while on birth control, but it has to be low, like .000001%. Yes. I bask in these comforting odds. Who cares that there are other more important factors swaying said odds. Things like my age, and the fact that my period is late, and the fact that morning sickness usually sets in during week six of gestation and that is exactly how long it’s been since Connor and I had sex.
