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“You do know me.”
“I thought I might.”
“You do.”
“No, I don’t. I know the man you pretend to be. The real you is much uglier than him. Blaze are supposed to be strong and loyal and honest.” Tears fill my eyes, and he reaches for me, but I jerk away. “You’re none of those things. You don’t deserve the title, and if I had the power to take it away from you, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
He staggers back, like I’ve slapped him.
“You’ve failed the name, and you failed the man you said you admired. He’d hate you for this. Not for marrying—since, apparently, he knew about that—and maybe not even for lying to me, but for bringing her here after everything …” I shake my head and take a few steps back.
“I don’t love her, Oakley.”
My chest aches and I’m slow to turn away from him. His words are true; I can see it in the way his eyes plead with mine. I just wish that made a difference.AlecYet again, she gives her back to me and walks away.
And I fucking let her because what can I say? She’s not wrong.
I let her down, let him down, and I have no idea how to right this wrong.
Things have turned on me, and I have no clue how to set them back. All I know for sure is, I’m running out of time. Shit will hit the fan soon.Chapter Twenty-SevenOakley“Oakley!”
My head snaps right to find Rowan less than a foot away, his face drawn tight in panic.
“Are you okay?”
When his wide eyes cut from my face to my hands, I follow his line of sight.
My palms are bleeding from the rope I’ve now climbed a half-dozen times in a row.
“I’m fine.” And I am.
My body aches, my head’s pounding, and I’m fighting not to vomit again, but still, I need more. More of a physical push. This has gotten too easy, workouts day in and out. Teaching the recruits is fun and usually more than fulfilling, but lately, I’ve needed more. I need—holy shit!
Blaze. I need to get out of here. Go on a job. A real job—whatever that means.
I’m past ready.
I hop up from the mat, almost falling as I do, and Rowan is quick to catch me.
“I’m taking you home.”
I shrug from his hold, and he frowns.
“I said, I’m fine.”
“Well, you’re not!” he shouts, gaining the attention of the students on the opposite side of the gym, he’s so loud. Gaining the attention of Alec, who slowly stands from his spotting position. “You’re not fine. You’ve been running yourself ragged the last few weeks. You don’t talk to anyone anymore unless it’s in class. I can see you’re not sleeping, and you’re working out way too much for how little you’ve been eating. And, almost every time you work out, you throw up!”
“What, are you keeping tabs on me?”
“Yes!”
Now, heavy footsteps are carrying the beast across the floor.
“Everybody, head out back,” Alec instructs. “Three laps around the perimeter and then break early.”
Rowan frowns his way before hitting me with his annoyed stare. “I’m worried.”
“Don’t be.”
“I can’t help it!” he yells, and I glance around, finding the last curious set of eyes exiting the gym. “This isn’t you.”
“Well, who the hell am I then, huh?” I shout back, letting the blood-covered rag hit the mat. “Am I the little girl who followed you around for years, wishing you wanted me how I wanted you? Am I the young woman who let herself believe that you cared when all you wanted was to keep me from your brother? Am I your best friend who you won’t talk to the way you expect me to talk to you? Because I know you’re hiding something, Rowan.”
He says nothing, and Alec hasn’t spoken a word, but he stands there, in my shadow, watching. Like always.
Fuck him. Fuck them both.
“Tell me, Row. Who am I?” I throw my arms out. “Am I the girl you wanted to love but couldn’t? Or maybe, now that I fucked your brother, I’m the girl who betrayed you. Because that’s how you felt right? Betrayed? Left behind?”
“Oakley,” he whispers, slowly shaking his head.
“Imagine that feeling intensified by a thousand. Lies disguised by lust. And don’t stand there looking so sad. You did me just as dirty, only differently.”
“Can we talk somewhere else?” His eyes cut to the side, and in my peripheral, I see Alec take a half-step forward. “By ourselves.”
“No.”
His head rears back. “Why? What’s going on, Oakley? Why won’t you—”
“Just stop, okay?” I scream. Lifting my hands to my temples, I take a deep breath. “I can’t handle any more useless words.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means, I’m over it!” I glare his way.
“If you were over whatever the hell it is you’re claiming to be over—”
