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Every night she waits up for me, expecting nothing and accepting the little I give, and I gave even more to a girl who wasn’t her.
My hands start at her ribs, gently sweeping along her top and down her naked thighs until I can reach behind her knee. I tug, bringing it up to my side, my eyes closing as the heat of her blends with mine, bringing her core closer.
I dip my head, slowly kissing along her collarbone, and her chest inflates sparking a fire in my own.
My hand comes up, fingertips trailing the length of her arms and up over her shoulder until I can grip her neck.
I pull my head back, kissing her chin, and then the corners of her mouth, and I freeze there.
Her shuddered breath has my eyes peeling open, and finally her palms land flat on my chest.
I drop my forehead to hers, soaking in the feel of her.
When her fingertips curl, my hands sink into her hair and I do what I’ve wanted for so fucking long.
I tip her mouth to mine, my lips falling onto the softest fucking pillows—
“I lied before,” she breathes.
My eyes fly open, our mouths touching.
Raw sorrow washes over her and I’d swear a cloud of moisture sneaks into the deep, hypnotic brown of her gaze.
Her hand leaves my chest, sliding along my arm until it’s tethered with the one in her hair.
My fist tightens, and I press against her, but then she pulls it back, taking mine with her and cold hard dread seeps into me.
Her eyes avoid mine, seeking out the night surrounding us as she repeats in a whisper, “I lied before... I’m not okay with pretending to be her.”
Ice.
My body turns to ice, stuck, fucking frozen.
I try to pull her to me, but the hand she left on my chest plays as a barrier, pushing me away.
The dark of the night aches behind her words, coating my throat, threatening to suffocate me.
“What… no. Beauty, no—”
She shakes her head, and then the light hits just right, capturing the tear that falls from her eye, and I fly from the mattress, toppling over my own feet and almost falling to my ass.
The knob of her door stabs me in the ribs as I stumble into it, my back hitting the frame as I race backward from her room on unsteady feet.
She knows.
She fuckin’ knows.
My pulse beats out of control and I can’t breathe. I fall to the wall, sliding down it until my ass crashes to the floor.
My head buries in my hands, and then a pair of black, unlaced boots are in my vision.
I look up at my brother.
Royce shakes his head, anger in his eyes, but it’s gone in a blink.
He came home for me.
“You fucked up, brother,” he whispers.
“I did.” I nod. “And you knew.”
“I did.” He drops beside me with a sigh. “At least we know you’re as human as the rest of us now.”
I scoff and a heavy chuckle leaves him.
“Wanna know something that might make you feel even shittier?” he asks.
My eyes slide to his, but he looks away before he speaks.
“She’s okay with losing,” he says. “Or, shit, she thinks she is anyway.”
Okay with losing, as in losing me to someone else.
Raven was right, she’s serious about her place here, and she plans to take it with or without me.
“What are you gonna do, brother?” Royce asks.
“I guess it depends on what she does,” I tell him. “But probably nothing good.”
His eyes cut to mine and I shrug.
“Can’t let her lock me out, won’t let her go.” I face forward again. “Guess I’ll force her hand.”
“That’s kind of fucked.”
“Yeah.” I nod. “It is.”
Everything is.Chapter 30VictoriaMorning comes too quickly and with it the smell of breakfast.
Today I can’t hide from what’s been happening.
The boys gave me a small pass last night, but they’ll fill their brother in on everything with Maria today, and I’ll have to face him and what he and I are not.
I drag my ass from the bed and into the shower, but I don’t linger.
There’s no point.
I’m out and dressed within fifteen minutes. I part my hair, braiding back one side and pull it up into a messy bun on my head, tie a white bandana around it and skip the eyeliner for today.
Downstairs, Zoey sits on the couch watching cartoons with Maddoc, while Raven chats with Rolland in the kitchen.
Royce makes his way in then, and I’m a little shocked when he kisses my cheek as he passes, moving to do the same to Raven before grabbing the hot chocolate already made and waiting for him on the countertop.
“Thanks, RaeRae,” he says as he takes a sip, walking out.
Captain comes around the corner next, his feet stopping when he spots me.
“ZoZo, you replaced me with Uncle D?” Royce teases her, sitting down and scooting her into his lap. He kisses her cheek. “Cartoon time is for Uncle Bro, ‘member?”
