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Zoe spins around and marches back to me. She’s seriously pissed, and I have no clue why, because I thought that was a compliment.
“Why would you say that?”
“Say what?”
“Just to make me even angrier? Just to mess with my head? To get under my skin? You’re already under it!” Her nostrils flare. She means business. “You don’t have to rub it in that I’ll never look like those women. If I’m just some weird conquest, then whatever. You’ve accomplished it. You can stop trying now. You can leave me alone. And you can let me quit like I want to. Clearly, we should never be in the same room again.”
“Or maybe we should never be out of the same room again. Maybe we’re good for each other. Maybe we’re what each other needed all along.”
“That’s the world’s worst idea.”
“No. You said you felt it too—some kind of madness. And you couldn’t stop thinking about it. You want me. I want you. What’s so wrong with that?”
“Everything! I thought it was rabies. I still think it’s rabies, and rabies is never a good thing! Anyway, I doubt you could satisfy me even if we did keep this up. You only last about three and a half seconds.”
“That’s not what your screams said earlier.”
“You’re terrible.”
“I might be, but you’re not. You’re amazing. You might not look like a model, and you might not be an artist or an actress. You might not make tons of money, and people might not know your name, but I know your name. And I think you’re beautiful. I know for a fact that you’re not perfect, but that’s what makes you real. I told you before, and I meant it, you’re you, and that’s the best thing on the whole fucking earth. Don’t sell yourself short just because you want to try and prove a point or get back at me.”
Zoe’s nostrils flare. She stands there, huffing in place, and I almost move my hands in front of my balls because she has a strange expression on her face.
“Besides, we’re tied. We need to have a tiebreaker. There has to be a clear winner.”
“What the dirty dog devil are you talking about? Rock, paper, scissors?”
“No.”
Zoe studies me for a minute. Then her eyes flash with understanding. “You’re a pig.”
“I can be. I’ve been called worse, and I can probably be that too at any given time. But sometimes, I’m nice too. Like right now. If you say this will never happen again, then it will never happen again. I believe you, and I respect you. I’m sure as hell never going to force you to do something you don’t want to do, and I’m not going to tell you how to feel either.”
Zoe stares at me like I just sprouted a second dick, this one from my armpit or forehead, and because of its dubious nature, growing where it shouldn’t, it’s not viewed as a potential source for pleasure, but more of extreme worry. Zoe used to be a master of changing the subject. Obviously, that hasn’t changed.
“Lead the way back to the lodge. Stay silent the entire time, for the love of pity Pete.”
“What’s to pity about Pete?”
“Argh!” Zoe’s eyes lift up to the sky like she thinks something up there can help her. Or maybe she’s just trying to brace against another bastard dive bomber spruce beetle or whatever they’re called. Pine sawyer—that might also be the name. I’ve heard the lodge owners tell us about both. Fuck if I know what it was. I didn’t even see the foul fucker. “You’re not getting a tiebreaker. Let’s go.”
“Alright.”
“Alright?”
“We’ll see. I have bets on you coming to me. Or just coming.”
Zoe stands rigid. She’s not even going to dignify that with an answer. I know Zoe, though, or at least I used to. I can tell when she’s genuinely pissed, and right now, she’s just acting. The truth is there in her eyes. The truth is there is something strange and undeniable between us—a chemistry neither of us expected. Something. Something that just isn’t going to go away. It’s definitely physical, but it’s sure the hell more than that too.
It feels like something connected to the heart.
It feels a little bit like being soulmates, that connection. Like someone whom you met once, and no matter how much time passes, you just pick up right where you left off. Maybe I’m not using that term correctly. I think there are different kinds of soulmates, though. I kind of feel like Zoe never left, except she did. And she grew up. But she’s still the same Zoe deep down inside. She still isn’t afraid to speak her mind, and she’s still the same girl who would take on a crowd of bullies if they were picking on someone she loves. She always stood up for what she believed in. She was fearless, full of heart. Such a huge heart that’s so much bigger than her small stature.
