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Lainey falls into the kitchen, her startled face finding me at the table. “Are you okay?”
“No, I’m fucking not.” I’d get up and confront her, if I knew I could do it without hobbling like the joke I am. “Sorry it turned out like this?” I question, slamming my fist on the table, making her jump. “Are you, Lainey? Are you fucking sorry, because you seemed to find it quite fucking easy to walk away?”
“What do you want me to do?” she asks, rage brewing in her eyes. “Fall at your knees and beg you to believe me? To plead my innocence and make you understand?”
“Yes.” I stand up. I can’t move, but I need to have a presence of sorts. “Make me see. Remember? You asked me to make you see that this thing between us was right. And I fucking did. I was prepared to do anything, Lainey. Why can’t you do that for me?”
Her face falls, and tears spring into her eyes. Good. Call me callous, but when I burst into tears, which will be part in pain, part in frustration, I don’t want to be alone. My fucking foot is fucking killing me. But that’s not a scratch on my heart. That motherfucker is in tatters, and I fucking hate myself for it. I hate that she’s capable of making me feel like this. “Do it,” I roar. “Make me see that yesterday wasn’t all a lie. Because I fucking love you, Lainey, and the thought that you might not love me enough to try and fix this is a killer.”
She’s moving fast, coming at me determinedly. For a second, I think she might swing at me, so I drop to the chair, almost cowering. But when she makes it to me, she climbs onto my lap, seizes my face in one of her hands, my hair in the other, and she grips. Fucking hard. It would hurt if my mind wasn’t elsewhere. Her nostrils flare, her anger still evident, and she pushes her forehead to mine. “I fucking love you.” She grinds the words out, clenching her teeth when she’s done. “Don’t you dare question that.” Her lips crash to mine, forceful and fraught, her tongue going on a rampage in my mouth.
That’s all it takes. This, this passion, this need for me, it’s the validation I need. My mouth opens to her, and my arms grab her, hauling her into me.
“Perfect fucking chaos, Tyler,” she gasps, pulling back and breathing heavily in my face. “I love our perfect chaos. I love our perfect calm. Yesterday was the best day of my life.” She takes my arms, shaking me, as if trying to get me to see sense. “Meeting you has been the best thing that’s happened to me. Ever. Don’t you think I’ve agonized over this? Questioned the right thing to do? I’ve thought of nothing but. I’ve picked it all to pieces in my mind, thought about what people will assume.” Her eyes plead with me. “It just seemed impossible. All of it.”
My body rolls with my inhalations, calm settling over me. “Don’t walk away from me ever again. No matter what I say or do, never walk away from me.” I bury my face in her neck and close my eyes.
“Can you make the same promise?” She feels the back of my head, stroking, comforting me.
I falter for a second. She’s still searching for reassurance? Haven’t I given her enough already? “Yes. I promise.”
“Then I promise, too.” She pulls out and takes a different approach, dropping light, soft kisses across my mouth. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have, I know, but it’s a time in my life I’d rather forget, and then I was in too deep with you. I didn’t want to ruin it.”
I’ve been so wrapped up in my frustration and anger, I forgot the root cause of the mess we’re in. I find her gaze. “What happened?”
“It doesn’t matter what happened.”
“It does to me,” I argue. I’m already going to kill him for trying to nick my PA. Call me possessive, I don’t care. Like I said, I’m quite attached to Gina, couldn’t function without her—and God, do I need to apologize to her for what I said. But my possessiveness is on a whole different, dangerous level with Lainey. After she shares the details, to know what she endured because of that wanker politician, I won’t stop until I find a way to destroy him. He’ll lose everything he loves—his position of power, his influence, his money. “Tell me.”
She looks away, but I have none of it, taking her face and directing it back to mine. “Why’d you want to know?” she asks.
“For my sanity.” That’s a lie. I’ll lose what sanity I have left when she shares the sordid details.
