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“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“I would, in fact.”
“Well, too bad.”
He clutches his chest. “You wound me, and at Christmas time?”
“Please. You’re just fine. Back to the job thing . . .”
“There’s nothing definite, it’s just a possibility. I’m really just appeasing my family.”
I understand that. My mother is an overbearing crazy person. She was over last night, telling me how I needed to get my life together. It’s been almost two years, and she’s worried I’m going to die alone with a gaggle of cats.
“No matter what happens, I hope it’s what you want to happen, even if it means you have to move.”
Dean takes his other hand and laces our fingers together. “What if I told you that I hope I don’t find anything?”
“Why would you say that?”
His thumb grazes the top of my hand. “Because I like someone here.”
Our eyes meet, and my heart begins to race. “You do? Who?” I ask, really hoping it’s my name out of his mouth.
Ugh. I shouldn’t want that, but the other night changed something inside me.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He finally lets his smirk out as he throws my words back in face.
“You’re such an ass. Maybe I don’t really want to know. Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t care who you like because, if you cared, you’d tell me,” I counter.
Dean turns, his eyes meet mine, and there’s no mincing words this time. “I like you, Holly. I like you, and the other night wasn’t just some random drunken fling.”
I shake my head to clear the fog of emotions that start to cloud my vision. If he liked me, he would’ve called. He would’ve done something to let me know instead of forcing himself to say it because we’re trapped in an elevator. Hell, he probably only said it because we are stuck in this elevator.
Still, my heart begins to flutter. “You don’t have to say nice things because we’re stuck in an elevator. I’m a big girl. I can handle a one-night stand or whatever we’re calling it.”
“I’m not saying it for any of those reasons. I’m saying it because I mean it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to call you, it was that I knew you didn’t want me to call you. I heard you say it was a mistake. Then the day after we slept together, I found out I was pitching against you, and I wasn’t exactly sure how the hell we were going to pick up from that. Most of all, I wanted to call. I wanted so fucking badly to see you again.”
Why does he make me feel gooey inside? Why do I want to lunge at him and kiss him? Why can’t I shut down these feelings when I know all he wants is this job?
Because I’m crazy, that’s why.
I get to my feet, needing the leverage and distance. Not that there’s anywhere to go when I’m stuck in an elevator, but still.
I look at Dean, wondering if what he’s saying is true. “Dean . . .”
“No, don’t say anything to try to make what I said a lie.”
“Why do the holidays seem to bring around so much confusion and hurt with men?” I mutter.
I used to love Christmas. It was truly the most magical time, but the bad memories always take hold and remove the joy I used to feel. There are a thousand good memories to that one horrible one, but I know I’ll only ever really remember how much it hurt when he left me. This year probably hurts more than when he left. This Christmas Eve would’ve been my wedding day. On this holiday, I’ll eat another birthday cake instead of a wedding one.
I look to the ceiling. “Seriously, could they get the damn power started so I can hide? I’m completely hopeless when it comes to relationships.”
Dean gets to his feet, crowding me, making me feel everything because I can’t escape him. He pushes away a piece of my blonde hair that fell in my eye. “There’s still hope for you, Holly.”
I turn my head and bite my lip. “I don’t think so.”
He grips my chin so I’m forced to look at him. Dean’s eyes are intense, and there’s a layer of fear just lying beneath the surface. “You are not hopeless. You had a guy who didn’t see how great you are, who didn’t deserve you. You don’t see what you have around you or in front of you.”DeanI don’t know what I’m doing saying any of this.
Maybe it’s because her blue eyes turn dull when she’s hurting and I want to brighten them again. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Almost from the day I met her, I’ve I battled with having feelings for her, knowing she was with someone else and I couldn’t have her.
