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‘Izzy, I never—’ Theo starts.
‘Don’t,’ I cut him off, not looking at him. ‘Don’t tell me how bad you feel, Theo. This place is supposed to be safe. She was supposed to be safe. The poor woman has been through enough.’
‘No one has ever crossed the line here, Izzy. No one has dared.’
‘Who dares now?’ I ask, shifting my blank eyes across to him. ‘Who dares to come into Theo Kane’s club and do this?’ My hand shoots out towards an unconscious Penny.
‘I won’t rest until I find out.’ His nostrils flare, the danger I know he’s capable of flashing in his cobalt eyes.
‘The man in the alley,’ I begin.
‘He’s on remand.’
‘You can be sure of that?’
‘Andy’s checking.’
‘I’ll take that as a no.’
His big shoulders drop, and his gaze falls to the floor. Guilt is consuming him, yet I can’t find the graciousness to even try to ease him. It doesn’t matter that my attempts would be in vain. He blames himself, and with a lack of anyone else to blame at the moment, I can’t help but blame him, too.
‘She should be in a hospital,’ I mutter, knowing I’m wasting my breath. ‘And the police should be called.’
‘I can’t draw attention to my club, Izzy. Andy’s on my side, but there are powers above him.’
‘I know,’ I grate, his words only building my anger. ‘God forbid the police turn up. God forbid you’re arrested and thrown in jail.’
The noise that emanates from his direction is a combination of a growl and a sigh, followed by the sound of his feet thumping the floor as he comes to me. He’s in my field of vision a second later, on his knees. ‘Don’t shut me out,’ he pleads, taking my hand and placing it on his chest, a silent reminder of what’s etched on his skin beneath his creased shirt. ‘I can stand a lot, repel it all, but I can’t bear the thought of you hating me. Don’t hate me, Izzy.’ His pain-filled face dents my anger a little, our stares holding. ‘I will get retribution. I won’t let whoever did this to her get away with it.’
‘How?’ I ask flatly. ‘Gunshot? Beating? Breaking a few bones?’
His blazing eyes tell me that’s exactly what he has in mind, just as I feared. ‘Whoever it is needs to pay.’
‘And how the hell will that help Penny?’ I shout.
He winces at the volume of my voice, closing his eyes and spending a few moments breathing some calm into his lungs. ‘I try to do the right thing,’ he says, an edge of pleading in his tone. Pleading for me to understand. ‘I hand scumbags over to the police rather than give them what they deserve.’
‘You hand them over to the police as bait, Theo. Give the police what they want to keep them off your back.’ I look away from him and rest back in the chair. ‘Don’t tell me it’s completely selfless.’
His exhale is loud and tired. ‘Izzy, baby, come to bed with me. Let me hold you.’
‘I need to watch Penny. She might wake and be sick or disoriented. She shouldn’t be alone.’
‘Then I’ll have one of the girls come and sit with her.’
‘Do they have any medical knowledge?’ I ask, looking at him. ‘Do they know how to monitor pulse rates and recognize the signs of deterioration?’
Theo looks across to Penny, his jaw pulsing. ‘No.’
‘Then I’m not about to hand over her care to a stripper just because you need a cuddle.’ The spite in me comes steaming to the surface, unstoppable and full of the hatred I’m feeling. ‘I’ll stay here.’ I pull my hand from his and shift in my chair, turning as far away from him as I can.
He’s stung. It’s apparent in the slight withdrawal of his big body and the hurt inhale. There’s silence for a few moments, but I can practically hear his mind racing. And then he lets his thoughts spill. ‘Why do I get the feeling that there’s more to your anger than what’s happened to Penny, Izzy?’
‘Don’t.’ I refuse to look at him, as if hiding my eyes can keep the secrets of my past from him. ‘Don’t turn this around.’
‘Right,’ he breathes, his voice shaky as he rises to his feet. ‘I get it. Keep your secrets.’
‘As you keep yours.’
Theo curses under his breath, walking away from me, defeated. Not stopping him from leaving takes everything out of me. I don’t relish the sight or sound of him in despair, and, really, it’s my own despair that’s fuelling it. My reasons for being angry. My past dictating how I handle this. But Theo’s a big man. He can look after himself, as demonstrated on more than one occasion. Penny can’t. She needs me.
When the door to the bedroom shuts softly, I glance across the room. In my mind’s eye I can see him on the other side, probably forcing his fist back from smashing a hole in the wall. And then I close my eyes, and I see me. I’m unconscious like Penny.
