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That’s what a real father would’ve done.
Instead, I’d given in.
And fuck had it felt good.
But now thoughts of Ben were tormenting me. In the short time Nola and Griff had come into our lives, I’d watched my son change. Griff might not have been an entirely innocent influence on him, but he was getting Ben to open up. He wasn’t always buried in a sketchbook, and he actually played. I’d even seen him joining Griff in a pickup game of soccer when I’d come to pick him up from the park last week.
It was a complete transformation, and if Nola left, I feared he’d go right back to where he was. Worse, he’d be heartbroken all over again. It would be just like the first time he’d thought to ask why he didn’t have a mommy like his friends. He’d be losing that all over again, wondering if maybe he’d done something wrong.
Those were all the things I should’ve been thinking about last night instead of how tight Nola’s pussy had looked and how good it would feel to be inside her.
I parked outside the cafe and headed inside, ready to take out my frustrations on Ally.
She was sitting in a corner booth with big sunglasses on that covered half of her face and a caramel colored trench coat that made her look ridiculous like the villain of some kid’s movie.
I sat down across from her. I hadn’t realized how long it was since I’d seen her in person. Years, at least. Our contact had been exclusively limited to the times she decided to call, which were few and far between. And now she was here.
“What is it that you want?” I asked.
“Nice to see you too, Jack. I see you’ve been taking care of yourself.” She removed her sunglasses so I could watch her make a point of dragging her eyes across my body.
“I didn’t come here for small talk, Ally. What do you want?”
She slid her sunglasses back on and crossed her arms. “I want a chance to make things right with Ben.”
Irrational anger boiled up in me. “You chose not to be in his life.”
“And sometimes people grow. They learn to see mistakes they’ve made in the past and want to take steps to fix them.”
I stared at her. I couldn’t see anything through those stupid sunglasses except her mouth, which was unreadable. “You’re serious?”
“I want Ben to have a mom. He deserves one.”
I clenched my teeth. A long time ago I’d decided that it didn’t matter what I thought of Ally. She was his biological mother, and that meant she had a right to be in his life. But I wasn’t going to let her treat him like some kind of hobby she could pick up and put down when she wanted. That was the promise I’d made myself. “Why now?”
“I actually heard about the nanny you had to hire. They were talking about it on one of those celebrity gossip shows. It hit me how much I’ve changed. I mean, I’m not even touring for a few months. I could easily be watching him instead of making you rely on some stranger.”
“Nola isn’t a stranger. And I wouldn’t have hired someone I didn’t trust to watch my son.”
“Of course not,” Ally said. She set her glasses on the table, and I saw she looked sincere. “I really don’t want this to be a confrontation, Jack. And I’m ready to respect your decision. I just wanted you to know that whenever you’re ready to give me another chance, I want to take it.”
I gripped my knees under the table until my fingers ached.
The worst part was how much I wanted her to be telling the truth. It wasn’t about rekindling some version of the relationship we’d had. It was that if Ally could actually be a mom for Ben again, I wouldn’t need to be so worried that my budding relationship with Nola would fuck things up.
If Ally was in Ben’s life, I could stop being afraid to feel what I felt for Nola.
“I’m listening,” I said slowly.26NolaI had the afternoon off while Griff and Ben were at school, so I agreed to meet Luca and Lindsey at a coffee place near their school.
Luca and Lindsey were already waiting for me when I arrived. They were both barely concealing huge smiles.
I frowned. “What? Why do you two have that goofy look on your faces?”
“We started a business!” Lindsey squealed.
“What?”
“Remember those little sports pins I made last Christmas for everyone?”
“Yeah? The button things with the team logo?”
She nodded. “Luca took this course on advertising and we’re going to start selling them online. We both quit our jobs yesterday.”
I raised my eyebrows. My best friends had lost their minds. Okay. Suddenly my late-night encounter with Mr. Kerrigan felt a little less pressing.
