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Before I could lose my nerve or change my mind, I hit send, then sat back and let out a long, shaky breath.
“Important emails?” Jack asked. He was only wearing his underwear as he walked into the kitchen. Even flaccid, I could see the pleasant bulge of his package against the thin material. I took a little dirty pleasure in knowing I was still on him from last night, because we’d both gone straight to sleep afterwards.
Except my dirty pleasure quickly blossomed into guilt when I looked back at my laptop screen and saw “Message sent.”
I snapped the screen closed and smiled. “Something like that.”31JackWe weren’t supposed to have our families at the team hotel, so I’d set up Nola and the boys at a nice Airbnb outside the city. It had a big fenced in yard, a pool, and plenty of space for everyone to spread out. I hoped Nola was enjoying herself, and I wished I was there instead of sitting through a team meeting.
Our coach was talking about almost nothing that mattered to a pitcher. It was all the permission I needed to zone out and daydream about soft curves, red hair, and whispered gasps that brushed my ear with soft heat.
When the meeting was over, we had half an hour before we needed to head down to the stadium and get ready to play. Tonight, would be the first time Nola had watched me play. She was going to bring both boys and I was sure they’d be pounding down hotdogs and sodas all night.
I’d become so used to feeling bitter and closed off that it still surprised me when the urge to smile tugged at me. But that’s what Nola did for me. She made me want to smile. Laugh. Enjoy things.
It was why I was becoming more and more certain I’d made the right choice. I was a better dad for Ben if I was happy, and Nola gave me that. So what was there to feel guilty about?
Still, I couldn’t shake the gut feeling that it couldn’t be this easy. It was like eating a frosted doughnut and being told it had all the nutritional qualities of a cup of broccoli. Good things came with a price, but I still hadn’t found Nola’s, and that kept me from completely letting my guard down.
I was met by a man in a suit when I left the meeting. He held a briefcase and wore a sour expression. “Mr. Kerrigan?”
“Yes?”
“You’re being sued for custody of your son, Ben Kerrigan.” He handed me a stack of papers.
I felt ice spread through my veins, but I didn’t let it show on my face. “You flew here to give me these? Wouldn’t a phone call or an email do the trick?”
The lawyer gave me a little grudging shrug. “Miss Callaway insisted I do this in person. But yes, typically we would reach out in a more convenient way.”
I took the papers and headed toward my room. I’d hoped she wouldn’t have the nerve to actually sue me when I told her she’d need to send a lawyer next time. I shouldn’t have been surprised, though.
For people with money, lawyering up was about as painless as shouting “mom!” when your little brother won’t stop pissing you off at the dinner table.
My stomach twisted because I had a feeling the law was on her side, at least partially. They wouldn’t take Ben away from me, but chances were, they would legally mandate some form of shared custody. If I thought Ally wanted to be in his life because she cared about him, it wouldn’t have felt so terrifying.
But I had a hunch the only thing she actually cared about was Nola. For some reason, Nola had triggered her like no girlfriend I’d ever had before. I wondered if it was the connection to Ben. The idea that some other woman was going to be like the mom to him that she never was.
My cell rang about five minutes later as I was tossing the papers on the dresser by my bed. It was Ally. I’d figured I would ignore her outright after our last encounter but thought if there was any chance of changing her mind, it was worth a shot.
“Yes?” I said.
“You sound crankier than usual. I assume you met my lawyer?”
“I have the papers. Yes.”
“You know we could still settle this like reasonable adults. The only thing I want is to be part of my son’s life.”
“You’re several years late. And I don’t believe that’s what you actually want, either.”
She scoffed. “Is this about the nanny? You think I care? Get over yourself, Jack.”
“Then what changed? Why now?”
There was a long pause. “Because it’s time. People are allowed to make mistakes, and not being in Ben’s life was a mistake. Not being in your life was—”
