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I’d had enough. I gripped the back of her soft, small neck and spun her so her ass was facing me. I pressed her face down and positioned myself behind her. I stood there with my cock positioned between her legs so all I’d need to do is pull my hips back and press to glide inside her. God knew she was wet enough. “I’m going to take you from behind, and you’re going to come first.”
I was pressing her down, but not so hard that she couldn’t have squirmed free if she wanted. Instead, she just slid her eyes to the side to look back and up at me. “Cassian…”
I swallowed. Whatever she was about to say, I didn’t like the breathy, quiet tone of her voice. I didn’t need her to try to bring feelings into this. It was just flesh. Just sex.
She was a wet hole to fuck—just something to get off on. An object.
Except I was lying to myself, and I knew it.
I gripped her hips hard enough to make her soft skin dimple and turn red around my fingers. With a careful movement of my hips, I positioned myself against her and got ready to slide in. “I’m going to fuck the defiance out of you.”28CharliI felt dizzy.
He was inside me.
I was naked and bent over for him. His huge hand had the back of my neck in a vise grip, like he could crush me with one squeeze. Except there was a strange gentleness beneath the rough touch. He was only rough enough to let me know he was stronger than me. Just like he was only neglectful enough to make me think he wasn’t worried about me when I had my concussion.
It was a show, not real.
But what was the real Cassian?
I pressed my palms into the smooth, cold wood of the table, wishing I had something to dig my fingers into.
“I’m going to fuck the defiance out of you.” He dug a condom out of the pocket in his discarded pants and slid it on himself.
Jesus. I had been defiant just a moment ago. I felt like I was in over my head—like the surface of the water I’d plunged into was so distant I couldn’t have even said which direction was up. Instead of panic, I’d decided to play at confidence. None of it seemed as scary if I acted like I was still in control, or like I wasn’t absolutely freaking out on the inside.
But my false confidence had its limits, and apparently Cassian sliding himself inside me was the beginning of those limits.
Now I felt vulnerable and weak. I felt like he could do anything he wanted to me, and I’d let him. And I’d like it.
I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing myself for the hard push. He’d used my mouth like a sex toy, and my jaw still felt sore from it. I could only imagine what he was going to do to my pussy.
I didn’t have time to think about it because a moment later, he moved himself against me, drawing a gasp from deep in my chest. I braced for the hard push—the punishment he’d no doubt been waiting to dole out. Instead, he eased himself in gradually, letting me adjust to the size of him in a way that felt surprisingly good.
My fear melted away and desire rose up, washing everything else away. I’d have a lifetime to unpack the consequences of what he and I were doing right now. But if I was going to do it, I might as well enjoy it.
I waited for the sensation of my hymen breaking, even though I wasn’t sure if I’d accidentally broken mine in any number of ways. I felt a slight release of pressure a little ways inside myself, and then it seemed like my walls weren’t gripping him so painfully tight. I took a breath, then forced myself to relax. His breathing got heavier and the sensation of him inside me grew from pleasant to divine.
I felt full in a way I never knew I’d craved.
Connected.
Important.
No matter what he said, I could feel the pleasure I was giving him. I could feel it in the way his hands roamed me hungrily, sliding up my shirt and cupping my breasts. I could hear it in his rapid breaths.
The great Cassian Stone was thinking of nothing but me in that moment, and there was power in that. It was like our minds had connected as well as our bodies. Maybe for the first time since that night at the lake behind his house, I felt like I was on equal footing with him.
Worse than that… I felt good, like some part of the boy I knew was starting to break through the walls Cassian had built in the years since the fire.
