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So if I had to play along for the rest of the school year, so be it. I’d steal kisses from her in all the dark corners of the world for years if that was what it took to have her.
I met up with Tristan on the football field after school. We didn’t have practice, but playoffs had already started and we both wanted to get some extra reps in before our next game. We idly tossed the ball back and forth to warm up. Of the few people in the world I could call a friend, my relationship with Tristan was probably the most complicated.
More often than not, I’d seen him as an enemy. But that was also why I respected him the most.
“What are you and Kennedy going to do about college?” I snatched his pass out of the air and then tossed it back to him.
“Not sure.”
“Bullshit.”
Tristan grinned, then launched a ball at me with enough zip to bruise my palms. “If you think you still have a chance with her—”
I laughed. “I never really wanted her. You realize that, right?”
“Considered it.”
“I wanted to fuck with you, and she was your weakest link.”
“So you’re saying if I want to get into your head, I should start acting like I want to get in Charli’s pants?”
I threw the ball back harder, making Tristan sidestep to avoid taking it in the face. He smirked. “Did I strike a nerve?”
“Nothing is going on between us.”
“Bullshit.”
Now it was my turn to grin. “Know what? I actually have somewhere to be. Maybe Logan can run those plays with you.”
“Sure. If you don’t want to get as many carries.”
“Getting a scholarship for football isn’t the reason I exist.”
“No shit. But what is? What gets you out of bed in the morning, anyway? Just the pure joy of being a stain on the world?”
I chuckled. It was a good question. A few weeks ago, I would’ve said revenge. I’d woken with a burning pit in my stomach for as long as I could remember. An unquenchable need to strike back. Like I’d taken so many hits that I could swing and keep swinging but never quite settle the score.
Now…
Now everything felt different, and I couldn’t even say why or how.
Charli didn’t have track practice today, so chances were, she’d be at home already. I headed to my car and found Sophie waiting there.
I wanted to groan in frustration, but I decided being civil would get her out of my hair faster than being an asshole. “Hey, Sophie.” I rattled my keys and reached for my car door, but she put her hand on my wrist.
“Cassian. Talk to me.”
I took a breath, half turning toward her but still keeping my hand where it was. “I already did.”
“And now I heard you and Charli broke things off. She was your excuse before, but what is it now? If you don’t like me, can you just admit it to my face? Stop pretending it’s that you have feelings for some other girl?”
“Who says we broke things off?”
She gestured vaguely to the school. “Everyone? One minute, you were parading her around. Now people see you two practically avoiding each other. It’s high school. People figure this stuff out.”
I gritted my teeth. The simplest answer would be to tell Sophie I was still with Charli. Then again, that would get back to Zoe and I’d be responsible for screwing up her friendship.
“We tried it, Sophie. I’ve dated dozens of girls at our school and none of them have ever lasted. Why does it surprise you that you weren’t any different?”
Her face hardened. “So that’s it, then?”
I spread my hands in exasperation. “What the fuck is it with people around here not getting the message? Yeah, that’s it. I broke up with you. Charli broke up with Clint. Do you think this is some kind of movie? Where being blindly persistent and never giving up wins out in the end? It’s not. It’s just fucking annoying. Move on, Sophie.”
I inwardly cringed. Normally, cruelty came naturally to me. This time, it felt manufactured. My newfound capacity for empathy was just one more thing I could blame Charli for, I decided.
Sophie did an about-face, storming off toward the school.
I felt guilty, maybe for the first time in a long time. I watched her go, realizing she wasn’t unique. She was just one of the many girls I’d let into my life, only to spit them back out when I had my fill.
A feeling in my gut told me I hadn’t seen the last attempt Sophie would make at reconciling things between us. There had been murder in her eyes before she left, and I could only wonder what she thought she might do to get back at me.
I shook my head, getting in my car. All I could do was focus on the now. On Charli. On getting things right with her.
