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I decided to change the subject before he cracked a tooth from clenching his jaw too hard. “Did you hear about Clint and Zoe?”
“Was I supposed to?”
“They are going to start renting a place together off campus.”
“Good. I won’t need to worry about him changing his mind and coming after you again.”
I laughed. “I think I have more right to be worried about Sophie. At least the guys who liked me never turned full-blown Silence of the Lambs.”
“Sophie…” he shook his head, almost sadly. “Last I heard she was living off her daddy’s credit card and moping back in Silver Falls. Getting kicked out of school for distributing the video right before graduation really did a number on her.”
“I almost feel bad. I mean… I might do something crazy if you ever left me for another girl.”
He cupped my chin, kissing me. “Leaving you for another girl would be the crazy part. It’s not happening. Not ever.” He gripped the front of my shirt and yanked me into his chest with a half grin. It had become our little inside joke about the “gravity” conversation we’d had by the lake.
I feigned trying to peel myself from him but failing. “Just checking.”
Cassian kissed the top of my head, then wrapped his arms around me.
I stood there with him while waves of students walked around us. I closed my eyes and wondered if this was what true happiness felt like. Real happiness. The kind you could curl up inside and close your eyes, never worrying about tomorrow because you knew the here and now was enough.
I decided if this wasn’t it—if it wasn’t love and it wasn’t happiness, I didn’t care. Because all I needed was him. This. Now. Always and forever.44Epilogue - CassianEpilogue – Cassian
I never needed to wonder what it would feel like to be hit by a truck because I played running back. As I walked off the field and scanned the crowd for Charli, I was fairly sure I had a date with an ice bath coming soon. I could thank Charli for introducing me to the wonders of a shrivel-your-balls cold tub of water when soreness was at its worst.
I spotted my mom and Walter before I found Charli. Campus was a little under an hour from our home in Silver Falls, but the two of them trekked their asses out to every game, home and away. Did it soften my hatred for them? Maybe as much as a breeze might soften a rock. Give it a few thousand years, and yeah, some of the hard edges of my hate might wear off. But it was still going to be a while.
Forgiveness didn’t cost anything. I knew that. But I also knew my feelings for Charli hadn’t turned me into a good person. Yeah, I loved the shit out of her. I loved her enough that I’d fly a rocket into the sun just to piss it off for giving her a sunburn. That didn’t mean I magically stopped being an asshole in every other facet of my life. That’s just how it was.
Walter slapped my shoulder pads, beaming. “You nearly took that fucker’s head off in the second quarter.”
Despite myself, I grinned. Partly because Walter had admittedly loosened up a little over the past few months and dropped the “Champs” and “Sports” from his vocabulary. Also, partly because my mom was scowling at him like he’d just taken a dump on the field. “Yeah. He had balls to try an open field tackle when I have forty pounds on him. I’ll give him that.”
Once I shook them free, I managed to find Charli. She had invited her weird little friend, Marne, who was waddling beside her. Marne always reminded me of some strange forest creature you might shake out of a tree—all tangles and earth tones. She bulged her eyes at me like she always did, awkwardly saying nothing.
I grinned, then patted her head, which made her eyes go even wider. I scooped Charli into a tight hug, not caring that I probably smelled like sweat and grass. Charli kissed my neck, then let me put her down.
“You know,” I said. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to punch it in on that last drive. But I just had to think about how much fun it was last time I was in that endzone, and I found the drive to do it.”
Charli’s cheeks went red.
Marne looked at her in open disgust. “Again, Charli? At least tell me nobody filmed it this time.”
“Not that we know of,” she said quietly.
After I showered and changed, I drove with Charli back to Silver Falls. The plan was to meet Tristan, Kennedy, Logan, and Gage at Dead Ringers for old time’s sake.
Logan was already getting himself placed on mock drafts for NFL teams with the way he was playing at NC State. Gage, despite being a hell of player, decided to chase academics and pass on the scholarship he had waiting. He’d gone to Harvard to study creative writing. Tristan had been through a hell storm to end his senior year, which meant he missed out on a scholarship and got into The University of Maine on his grades alone.
