Page 4 of The Golden Pecker


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“Great. As long as we can get moving,” I said, gesturing for her to follow me.

“You sure this is a good idea?” the youngest sister—Bree, I was fairly sure—asked.

“No,” Andi said.

“Here.” Audria dug in her bag. She pulled out a small, black object and squeezed the side of it. We all jumped a little when electricity crackled and flickered between the two metal tips on top of it. “It’s my taser. Just in case.”3AndiI followed Landon down to the basement of the hotel. I probably should’ve been more worried for my safety, but I did have the taser Audria had given me. I also believed what I’d said: Grandpa apparently asked this guy to take me somewhere, and I knew he wouldn’t have ever put me in danger. I also thought that curling into the fetal position in my room didn’t line up with my plan to keep living my life. A little risk and adventure would be good for me.

My plan was to keep my mouth shut. Mostly, I didn’t want to give Landon the satisfaction of thinking I was curious or that his rudeness had gotten to me. Whatever his reasons were for flipping a switch and deciding to turn cold, I wasn’t going to worry about it.

Except it wasn’t that easy. I lasted about two minutes before I finally spoke up in the stairwell.

“What is the story with you and my grandpa?” I asked. “That has to be it, right? You got all pissy toward me when you heard my last name because you knew Grandpa Willy.”

He shot me a glare over his shoulder but kept walking.

“Or maybe you stayed at the hotel one night and got a dirty room?” I suggested.

Landon stopped at the door leading to the basement and turned to face me. “Do you always ask so many questions?”

It was so bizarre. Before we exchanged names, he was so easy to talk to. I couldn’t have even imagined him having a temper. Now he was acting like a totally different person.

“When strange men make me follow them to the basement, I’ve been known to get inquisitive.”

“Your grandfather and I were business partners.” Landon made no attempt to mask the irritation in his voice.

I narrowed my eyes. “That doesn’t make sense. I’d have known you if you worked with him. He always introduced me to his friends.”

“Clearly not. He never even told you about The Golden Pecker. Besides, we weren’t friends. Not even close.”

I mulled over the new information while we made our way through the basement and toward the wine cellar. “And what kind of business is The Golden Pecker, exactly?”

“I imagine you’ll find out soon enough.”

I silently mocked his words to his back while we walked. Bastard. I bet he thought he sounded so cool and mysterious. All I knew was that my initial impression of him had been dead wrong. He wasn’t a good guy. He was an asshole who was willing to let his grudge with my grandpa trickle down to me.

We reached the far wall of the basement, which was lined from floor to ceiling with wine racks. Most of them were full of bottles, but Landon was eyeing an empty space as he fished for something in his pocket. He pulled out a keychain with a sculpted gold penis and balls about the size of his hand dangling from the end of it.

“Uh,” I said slowly.

He held up the key, then looked at it like he hadn’t properly noticed it in a while. “Your grandfather was always very mature,” he said. He’d looked amused for a moment, then seemed to forget he was supposed to be angry. Landon turned his back to me, stuck the penis in an empty slot on the rack, and twisted it.

There was a metallic click. He pulled on the wine rack and the entire thing slid open, revealing that it was a false wall.

I stared in disbelief. The opening led to a narrow hallway painted black and lined with candles. It looked like the kind of place Vlad the Impaler would’ve considered a totally sweet entrance to his bachelor pad.

“Have you guys heard of electricity?” I asked. “I hear it’s a lot easier than keeping a few dozen candles lit in some obscure underground hallway.”

“It’s something I might have mentioned to your grandfather a time or two.”

I smiled to myself. He wasn’t very good being angry, I decided. I could tell that’s exactly what he was trying to do. Maybe that should’ve made me irritated with him, but it only made me curious.

“In here,” he said, gesturing me through a doorway.

I had to squeeze past him to get into the room. In an effort to make it less awkward, I turned my back to him, which only made things worse. My ass brushed right across his crotch. I stared wide-eyed at the wall, and then did my best to pretend nothing had happened.

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