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“What?” she asks, turning her head toward me, eyes wide.
“I said we’re done.”
“No,” she says. “Please. I haven’t been punished enough.”
“I’m your fucking dom,” I growl. The anger boiling up in me is from the frustration of not understanding. She’s not being open with me, and she’s turning what is supposed to be a mutually pleasurable experience into something darker and twisted because she won’t tell me what’s going on. “You don’t get to decide when the punishment is over.”
She lowers her head, sinking low on her knees almost like she’s bowing to me.
“Get up. I said we’re done.”
She stands, waiting to be told what to do. Her blind obedience grates on me. I want her to be open with me. I want her to be herself. The dominant submissive relationship never bothered me before, but I was with women I didn’t care as much about. And with Lana it was always a game, something we turned on and off at will. Now all I can see is this beautiful, ambitious young woman before me degrading herself. There is supposed to be a healthy line in this kind of relationship. She’s supposed to know what we do here has no bearing on who she is outside. She’s letting this become something more than just a fantasy. She’s using it to hide from something, and I’m done helping her do it. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s only going to exacerbate whatever problems she’s facing like this.
I strip the leather mask off and throw it to the floor. I grip her by the shoulders. “What’s going on?” I ask.
She keeps her eyes on the ground. “Nothing, Sir.”
“Logan,” I say. “Call me Logan.
“Nothing, Logan.”
My hand flashes out and I only barely manage to stop myself from hitting her, not as her dom, and not for the sake of pleasure, but out of frustration. Fuck. I’ve never hit a woman, not outside of the roleplay, at least. I feel dirty and shitty immediately.
I feel worse when she doesn’t react. She just waits, expression blank like she would have deserved it if I hit her.
I clench my fists. “Emmaline...”
She looks up at me a little uncertainly. I see tears welling in her eyes and I reach out to rub them away with my thumb. She flinches slightly at my touch and it rips at my heart. I’m going to fix this. I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to make it all better. Somehow.
I sigh, leading her out of the play room and grabbing a robe for her to cover up her nudity. I sit her on the edge of my bed and sit beside her.
Fuck. Where did I go so wrong with her? I pull her close, hugging her as she cries into my arms. I felt like we were on the right path the night we watched the movie. It seemed like she was starting to let herself open up to me and she was going to try making things between us work both sexually and emotionally. After that night, everything between us just went off the rails. Hard.
Emmaline hangs her head, mumbling so quietly I can barely hear. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“You could never disappoint me,” I whisper as I run a hand through her hair. “Never.”
I give her all the time she needs, holding her close and waiting until she feels ready. “I can only cum when I’m dominated,” she says quietly. “I don’t know why. I don’t have a good reason. I guess I’m just a dirty slut who--”
“Hey,” I say firmly, pulling back until I can look into her eyes. “Don’t talk like that. You’re not a slut. Every fucking person on this planet is in to something. If they say they aren’t, they’re fucking liars. Everyone has a kink, whether they know it or not.”
She nods and another wave of tears rolls from her eyes. I smooth them away, hating to see her cry. I feel like it’s opening a raw hole in my chest and I need to see her happy again or it’s going to rip me apart from the inside.
I spend a long time just holding her there, mind running through what the next step is. In the past, I would have just cut ties with her. With Emmaline, that’s not an option. I don’t know how yet, but I’m going to help her find a way through this.18Emmaline“Thank you,” I say, hanging up and sighing with relief.
Scarlett looks up expectantly. “So it’s done?”
“Yep,” I say. “One credit card completely paid off. Only five to go.”
She laughs, shrugging. “Still. You did that in just over a month. At this rate you’ll be caught up in no time.”
“Yeah, the extra money has really helped. At this rate, the business might do well enough to let me quit at Club Crave.”
