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“I shouldn’t be jealous,” he says. He’s caught his breath, and with his hands in his pockets, he stares out at the water. “It’s been a long time, and of course, you’re not a nun. But I’m jealous all the same. And relieved.”
“Relieved that I’m an old maid?”
He turns to me now. “You’re not an old maid. But I am relieved that you don’t belong to anyone.”
“I belong to me. And that’s how it will always stay, Archer.”
He nods once and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his side. “What are you going to feed me for dinner?”
“We literally ate lunch right before we came here.”
“That was at least an hour ago.”
“How do you eat so much and still look like this? It shouldn’t be possible.”
“Genetics.” He kisses my hair, and I melt against him. Archer was always physically affectionate. It was something I had to get used to because my parents were distant, and the only one I was close to who hugged me was Grandma.
I didn’t realize I was so starved for touch.
But not just any touch. Archer’s.
I fit against him perfectly, my shoulder under his armpit. My arm around his waist. His lips planted on the top of my head.
I don’t want it to end.
“We could do spaghetti,” he suggests, making me laugh. “You always made a really good sauce.”
“It’s gotten better since I last saw you.”
“Don’t tease me,” he says. “My fragile stomach can’t handle it.”
“I’ll prove it. And just so you know, I know this trick. I’m not giving in to your reverse psychology.”
“You totally are. It’s okay. I’m charming, remember?”
“I never should have told you that. It just inflates your ego.” I stop and turn into him, burying my face in his hard chest, clinging to him with everything I have. “You can’t stay, Archer. This is me digging in my heels and telling you no. You can’t stay in Bandon.”
He doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just brushes his fingers up and down my arms, and then circles his arms around me and pulls me close.
“You’ve been the love of my life since I was a junior in high school and I saw you sitting with Stasia in the cafeteria. You’re everything, E, even after all this time. And that won’t ever change.”
“Archer—”
“Listen.” He catches my chin with his finger and makes me look him in the eyes. His are that insane bright blue and churning like the ocean behind him. “You’re everything. It feels like I’ve loved you my whole life.”
He always was good with words.
He doesn’t say anything else about staying with me. That was the best goodbye speech I’ve ever heard. He deserved to hear something that amazing when I left him all those years ago.
But I was young and didn’t know what the hell to do, except get as far away from him as possible. To keep him safe. To keep him whole.
We’re quiet on the walk back to the cottage. To my surprise, Archer strides right up the stairs to the loft and starts gathering his things, filling his bag.
“You don’t have to leave tonight.” I’m such an idiot, sending him mixed messages. But the thought of watching him walk away tears at my heart. “You could stay and get a fresh start in the morning. I’ll make the spaghetti.”
“It’s okay.” Once his bag is tucked in his car, he walks back up the steps to the front door and leans on the jam, smiling down at me in that way he always used to when he was particularly amused by me.
I have no idea what’s so damn funny about this. We’re saying goodbye for good.
“Thank you for coming. For taking me to Seattle. For everything.”
He pulls me in for another hug, holding me firmly.
God, this is killing me. Why did he have to come here in the first place?
“I love you, Elena,” he whispers. He kisses my forehead and then my lips. I feel it all the way to my toes, even though it’s the barest brush of skin against mine.
Without another word, he turns and jogs to his car, fires up the engine, and drives away.
“It’s the right thing to do,” I mumble as I close the door and lean against it, willing the tears to stay back. It may be the right thing, but it still hurts, all the way to the bone. My cottage feels emptier than it ever has. “Get used to it, Ally.”
I square my shoulders and get down to business, cleaning and scrubbing my little house and getting ready to return to the safe life I’ve made for myself in Bandon, Oregon.* * *To my surprise and delight upon returning to work this morning, I discovered that Margie hired a new employee. Which means I’ll start to have days off here and there, and Chad and I won’t be so slammed.
