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“So? Will you come?” he asks quietly.
“I’ll be there,” I say, after a brief pause. “You know I’ll fucking be there.”
I remember the day our parents died like it was yesterday, even though it was twenty years ago. I was nine, and Josh was only five. When they told me that they’d been killed in a car accident on the way to our school, I didn’t cry. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Josh and told him everything was going to be fine. I knew I had to be the man and protect my little brother. I had no idea what was going to happen to us, but I couldn’t let him know that.
That night, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him in his bed as he cried. I promised him that no matter what, I’d always be there for him. I’d never let him feel alone.
I made a promise once. I’m not about to break it.
“There’s, uh, one more thing,” he finally mumbles.
“What now?” I ask with an exasperated sigh. I shift in my seat, feeling restless.
“You can tell me to go to hell, but I want to know if you’d be my best man.” He winces as he forces the words out, like he’s sure they’re going to be the ones that break me.
“At your wedding?” I say with a laugh. “It's not enough that you’ve given me three weeks’ notice after not hearing from you in two years. Or that you're marrying my ex-wife?”
“Sorry, I shouldn't have even asked you,” Josh mutters.
“No. It's fine,” I say. I sigh and rub the back of my neck. “If that’s what it takes to convince you that I'm okay with you two getting married, then fine.”
I finish my drink and then stand up, pushing my chair back in.
“I better get home. It’s been a long day, and I have even more on for tomorrow.”
“Okay, I’ll be in touch. And Chase?” He pauses, his dark eyes meeting mine. “Thanks for this. It means a lot to me.”
“No problem,” I say as I stare into his eyes. “Though next time you ask for my blessing to marry my ex-wife, maybe make sure it’s not on our damn wedding anniversary?”I stalk out before he can answer, leaving him to ponder that.
It's a good twenty minutes from the bar to my place, but I decide to walk and catch a cab to work tomorrow. I figure I can use the time to think and clear my head. It has nothing to do with the fact that I know all I’ll be thinking about when I get back to my large, empty apartment is how alone I really am.
“Fuck,” I hiss, running my hands through my hair.
A passing woman gives me a wide berth and tightens her grip on her purse as she walks by me. I laugh because now I’m that strange guy in the street who nobody wants to be near.
Tonight was strangely reminiscent of the same night three years ago. Our last anniversary together, which I spent alone, walking home from a bar, just like this. Only back then, it was much later and I was so drunk, I could barely walk.
How the fuck did things get so messed up?
I met Casey in my second year of college. I pretty much knew right away that she was someone I wanted to be with. I couldn't resist that long, blonde hair or the way her steel blue eyes felt like they were ripping through my soul every time she looked at me. She had me wrapped around her finger from pretty much the word go, and she damn well knew it.
Early on in our relationship, I was the perfect boyfriend. But as my studies became more demanding, she had to share my attention, something she didn’t take very well. She’d get frustrated at me for working too late into the night or for forgetting the one month anniversary of our first date. Or missing a dinner reservation because I put all my time and energy into my studies.
I was ambitious and determined to make something of my life, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that. Not even Casey. I loved her. I loved her more than anything, but I struggled to show her that. Still, I persevered. I wanted to give her the life she deserved, and I wanted to show Josh that anything was achievable if you worked hard enough for it.
That’s kind of funny, considering he ended up with my wife.
When we left college and got married, things were better for a while, but once I found my place in the business world, that quickly began to change. Just like college, I put everything into getting to where I am now, and I sacrificed my marriage in the process. I regret that every day. More than anyone knows. Especially Josh.
