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He speaks earnestly while I lie there, defeated. I know I can’t put up with this for much longer. So what if he’s hotter than a Calvin Klein model and in five minutes, he’ll be elbow deep inside me, probably while I’m in the middle of an orgasm?
As soon as this is over, I never have to see him again. The important thing right now is to get this out of me. I take a deep breath and nod.
“Fine, let’s just get it over with,” I mutter, gritting my teeth.
“Okay, can you tell me more about the cyst?” he asks. “Has it been diagnosed previously?”
“I…” I swallow, my heart pounding. I close my eyes and force the words out. “There is no cyst. I had a mishap with a toy.”
“I’m sorry?” he says, frowning at me. “I don’t understand what you—” He stops mid-sentence and stares at me, his eyes widening. “Oh.” After a moment of reflection, he quickly moves on. “So, it’s stuck? Inside your vagina?”
“I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t,” I snap, close to tears again.
“Right,” he replies.
He shakes his head, looking a bit lost at what to do next. Given that he’s a resident, this could well be his first disappearing vibrator case. Yay for being his first.
“Okay, so have you attempted to get it out?” he asks.
I nod. “I’ve tried, but I can’t get myself into the right position. Every time I do, it triggers an orgasm.”
“Do you have a phone?” he asks.
“No, why?” I say.
I have no idea where this is heading. He reaches into his pocket and hands me his phone. I stare at it, confused. Does he want this on video to show his friends later? That doesn’t sound very professional to me.
“I want you to google a picture of the toy. When I go in, it will help if I know what I’m looking for,” he explains.
He explains it like I’ve asked him to go to Toys “R” Us on black Friday and he doesn’t know what he’s looking for. I sigh and snatch his phone from him. I’m past the point of being embarrassed about this. I just want it over with, and if he needs more of a visual than what he’s about to get, then I’ll give it to him.
“There,” I growl, thrusting his phone back to him.
I look up in shock when the curtain is whisked back, and Becca appears.
“There aren’t any female…” Her voice trails off as she stares at my doctor. “Oh.”
“Hi,” he says, frowning at her. “We’re kind of in the middle of something here.”
“Right, I’m her friend.”
She edges closer to me, her eyes growing wide when she catches sight of what’s on his phone. I close my eyes and groan.
“This might get fairly invasive,” Doctor Dillon says to me. “I’m not sure it’s an activity you want your friend here to witness?”
“Oh, trust me, I’ve had a good old feel around up there.” Becca laughs. Her face falls when I glare at her. “Still, I might wait out here, just in case,” she whispers, backing up. She gives me a big thumbs-up as she disappears behind the curtain.
He turns back to me, his eyes locking on mine.
“I’m going to examine you if that’s okay?”
“Knock yourself out,” I say, my voice weak.
Thank God I waxed last week.
Being such a new doctor, I’d only had the one patient experiencing sexual gratification gone wrong, but he was male, and it was a TV remote up his anus, so it wasn’t quite the same. I’m not entirely sure what this examination is going to entail, and I’m not looking forward to finding out. Of course, I don’t have much choice.
I take a deep breath as he lifts up the gown to reveal my pelvis.
“Okay, let me know if you feel any pain or tenderness.” He presses various points, studying my face for my reaction. I shake my head because all the pain and discomfort is much farther south. “No pain at all?” he asks.
“There’s not really pain associated with you pressing down,” I say, trying to explain what I’m feeling. “It’s more constant,” I finally say. “And much, much lower.”
“That’s good news,” he says. He smiles encouragingly. “I think I can retrieve it manually without the need for surgery if you’re okay with me trying?”
Manually. As in, with his hands. I close my eyes and make peace with the fact that there is no saving this situation. At this point, I might as well roll with the punches and get it over with.
“Sure,” I say, a small smile on my lips. “But at least tell me your name before you penetrate me?”
He chuckles at that. “Luke.”
He disappears for a moment, then comes back in wearing gloves and carrying a large bottle of lubricant and the biggest set of forceps I think I’ve ever seen. If I wasn’t freaking out before, I certainly am now. Remember what I said about needing to be in control? My heart pounds as he pulls on his gloves and then sets up a wound care kit on the table next to the bed.
