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As I sip my extravagant drink, I have a revelation. We’re here for Lily, so we should be doing whatever necessary to help her forget. I gulp down the rest of my cocktail in one hit, and then I stand up. The dizziness comes on suddenly and I let out a giggle.
Maybe drinking it that fast wasn’t a great idea.
“Let’s go,” I command.
Darcy and Lily both look up at me in surprise. It may be my sudden assertiveness, or it might just be because I keep stumbling over my feet—which is impressive, considering I’m standing still.
“Where?” Lily asks, confused.
“Wherever. I don’t care,” I say, frustrated. “Let’s go somewhere you’re not just going to sit there, pining over Julian.”
“I might just go back to the hotel,” Lily says in a small voice.
“Oh, for God’s sake. Just shut up,” Darcy growls at Lily, throwing her hands up in the air. “Enough with the pity party. It’s driving me insane. I’m seriously five seconds away from thumping you over the head and going all Weekend At Bernie’s with your body.”
Darcy nods slowly, her blood red lips—which look striking against her jet-black hair, lifting into a wicked grin.
“Now that’s how you crash a wedding. Can you even imagine?” Darcy asks with excitement.
“Well, I’m sorry my pain is so frustrating for you—”
“No, what’s frustrating, is you’re acting like a weak, heartbroken fool when you should be out there, having fun, showing Julian what he’s missing,” Darcy declares.
She grabs hold of Lily’s shoulders and gives her a little shake, looking her straight in the eye, while Lily tries to squirm away.
“Do you think your fuck knuckle of an ex is sitting in his hotel room, crying over you right now? No, of course not. He’s too busy thrusting his minuscule, pinky sized cock down his fiancée’s trap, because it’s the only way he can shut her up.”
“Darcy,” I exclaim, smothering a laugh. “You can’t say—”
“No, It’s okay, Katie.”
Huh? I stare at her in shock as she shrugs, then lets out a giggle.
“Darcy is right.” Lily makes a face. “She’s also offensive, rude and borderline psychotic, but she’s right. Sitting here like this isn’t helping anyone. She glances at Darcy and giggles. “And you’re not too far off with the whole pinky cock.”
I frown, as they both laugh over Julian’s misfortune. I’m still trying to get past the fact that they’re agreeing on something.
“I have an idea.” Darcy grins and throws her arm around Lily. “Something that will fix all your problems.” She pauses, building up the drama and then grins. “Karaoke,” she says excitedly. “Am I right? It’s perfect, right?”
“No way.” I laugh.
“I love it!” Lily cries, at almost exactly the same time.
“No,” I groan, shaking my head adamantly. “No, no, no. Anything but that. I might be slightly inebriated, but I’ll never be drunk enough for karaoke.”
“Is that a challenge?” Darcy narrows her eyes.
“No, and it’s not happening. No fucking way.”
“Oh, come on,” Lily begs, grabbing hold of my arm. “You don’t even have to sing. We’ll do a few songs, then we can all go back to my room and relax.”
“Why yours? Mine’s twice the size,” Darcy grumbles.
Lily ignores her jibe, too focused on me. Her lip quivers.
“It might help me forget—"
“Oh, for fucks sake, Lily,” I huff, saving her the trouble of finishing that sentence. “Fine. But I’m not singing.”I wipe my eyes, the sight of Lily and Darcy standing on stage, rocking back and forth in each other’s arms almost too much for me to handle. I’ve been laughing hysterically for ten minutes straight now, which is how long they’ve been torturing the crowd with their painfully bad rendition of “I’ll Make Love To You.” It’s even worse than the original, which is saying something.
When they start to dirty dance, I cover my face with my hands. I can’t watch, but at the same time, I can’t not watch. Curiosity wins out as I peek through my fingers to witness them butcher a Boyz II Men song so badly that I half expect the police to arrest them for assault. I shake my head and take a deep breath, my stomach muscles aching from laughing so hard.
I should be recording this.
There’s no way they’re going to believe it really happened, otherwise. I wouldn’t believe it myself if I wasn’t here, seeing it in the flesh. This is the only moment I’ve ever known the two of them to get along.
I lean against the wall and stare down at my vodka and soda, wondering how I let Darcy talk me into another drink, when I still hadn’t recovered from the first one. I turn back to the stage, just in time to watch them embrace each other for the ending. I sigh, not sure I can take much more of this.
There’s no way in hell you’ll catch me up there …
