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“It’s okay. You needed time to get your head straight—” I stop, realizing what I just said. “I didn’t mean—”
“Judging by that reaction, I’m guessing you know.” He studies my reaction.
I shrug. “Yeah, I know. Do you think I care about that shit?”
“I don’t know,” he admits. “We’ve had such little involvement in each other’s lives that I wasn’t sure what you’d say if you knew.”
“I hate that you felt like I wouldn’t accept you,” I growl. “You’re my brother, man. I love you, no matter what. “What’s going on with you?” I ask. “I want to help you, but you can’t keep shutting me out.”
“I know,” His voice is quiet as he stares at the ground below him. “I got myself into a really bad headspace and I wasn’t sure how to get out of it. I’ve got a lot of un-fucking to do, but I really want to try and get myself together this time.”
“Good.” I nod. “I know you can do it. You know I’ll always be there if you need me, right?”
“You told me this was the last time you were helping,” he points out.
“Dude I say that every fucking time.” I laugh. “You know I’d do whatever I had to, if it meant...” I stop, looking down at the ground.
“If it meant what?” Brix asks.
“If it meant I got the brother I always wanted,” I mutter.
It’s weird, but in some ways, I feel like I’m getting to know my brother for the first time. Our relationship isn’t going to fix itself over a fifteen-minute heart to heart. I’d be kidding myself if I thought that. It will take months, maybe years of hard work to mend the damage we’ve both caused. But for the first time ever, I feel like we’re on track.
I stand up and stifle a yawn. I’ve got no idea how long we’re been sitting here, but it has to be getting close to visiting hours being over. I’m almost sad to leave this place, and then I remember Hannah.
Brix gets to his feet and I step forward, throwing my arms around him in an awkward, forced hug. Brix doesn’t react at first, his arms hanging limply by his side, but then just as I’m about to give up, his hands move over my back.
“Well, that wasn’t awkward at all,” I mutter, shaking my head.
Brix chuckles. “You want awkward? Ask your girlfriend if she wants her dildo back.”
Girlfriend. It’s early days yet, but I like the sound of that.
“Do I want to know?” I ask him.
“Probably not,” he admits. “Thanks for everything,” he adds as we walk outside. “I know I don’t say it enough, but I do love you, man. As far as brother’s go, you’re not the worst.”
“You’re pretty average yourself,” I respond. “I love you too.”
I throw my arm around him as we cut through the courtyard and make back inside. Hannah’s waiting for me when we get inside the visitor area. She looks up, her face lighting up when she spots us.
“So, you and Hannah… it’s going well?” Brix asks.
I nod. “It’s still really new, but I can see us having a future together,” I admit, my eyes not leaving her as she walks toward us. “I have to say, I’m glad I’m the one leaving here tonight.”
He laughs. “Any particular reason for that? Maybe in the form of a cute brunette?
“What cute brunette?” Hannah eyes Brix and then me. She slips her hand inside mine and gives it a squeeze. “Don’t make me jealous,” she warns.
“I wouldn’t dare,” I assure her.
“Hey,” she says, eyeing Brix nervously. “How did it go?”
“Good,” Brix says. He smiles at me and then at Hannah, that sparkle lighting up his eyes. “How sure are you that’s Nate?” he teases her.
She narrows her eyes at him, then at me. Then she smiles up at me, lifting her heels off the ground to kiss me on the lips. I smile, kissing her back, my hand gently stroking her cheek. She pulls away, and then raises and eyebrow at Brix.
“You’re different,” she says, shrugging. “It’s like comparing two red wines. They might look the same on the outside, but when you get over how similar they look, it’s easy to tell them apart.”
Brix chuckles. “Wouldn’t you need to taste—”
“Dude,” I say, shaking my head at him. “So not cool.”
I wrap my arm around Hannah. “Shall we go?”
“Go where?” she asks
“Your place?” I suggest. “So I can do very naughty things to you.”
“And my sixteen-year-old niece would love that,” Hannah giggles.
“And that’s my cue to leave,” Brix says, making a face.
. “You’re sure you’re okay?” I ask, not wanting to leave him alone if there’s any chance he’s not.
He nods, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“I’m fine. It’s a good clinic. The staff are great, as you know.” He glances at Hannah. “And Hannah will look out for me, right?”
