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“Definitely. I want to get out of these clothes.” I’m wearing the same black dress I wore the day that I said goodbye to my parents. I never thought I’d be wearing it again this soon, at least not to another funeral.
“What are you doing?” Mark asks, motioning to the phone in my hands, before putting his eyes back on the road.
“Making a list.”
“Care to elaborate?” He chuckles.
“There is so much that I need. I’m not ready for a baby. Daisy is growing and getting stronger every day. I need clothes, and bottles, and blankets, and a bed and see…” I turn my phone, showing him the list. “It goes on and on. Most people have nine months to prepare and a baby shower. I have an infant niece and a couple of weeks at best.”
“I picked up a few things.”
I turn in my seat as much as the seat belt will allow to look at him. “What do you mean you picked up a few things?”
“I knew you would need a bed, and bottles, and stuff. I wanted you to have what you needed to bring her home. Oh, and my parents, they bought a car seat that has a stroller with it. Mom assures me it’s got the highest safety ratings.”
He says it so casually, as if he didn’t just incinerate my heart. “I— Really?” I ask.
“Yes, really.” He glances over at me and smiles. “You have a lot going on, and I wanted to be ready when she comes home. When we get to the house, I’ll run through your list and mark off what we already have.”
“I….” I’m at a loss for words. He’s so loving and caring and thoughtful. He pulls into the driveway of my childhood home and we climb out of the truck, making our way inside. As soon as the door is closed, I turn and wrap my arms around his waist.
“What’s this?” he asks. “Not that I’m complaining,” he amends, and I can hear the smile in his voice.
“This.” I pull back just enough to look up at him. “This is thank you. This is I love you. This is I’m sorry for pushing you away.” I bury my face in his chest and just hold on tight.
“Love you too, Pixie.”
“I don’t know what I would do without you. I can’t believe you bought stuff for Daisy.” Standing on my tiptoes, I place a kiss on his chin.
“And you,” he says, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You don’t have to do this on your own.”
“I know. I just didn’t want you to feel like you were expected to stay with us.”
He chuckles. “Baby, do I look like a man who does something he doesn’t want to do?”
“Good point.” I smile. “Truly, Mark, thank you for everything. This last year, I couldn’t have made it through it without you.”
“Go get changed,” he says, tapping my ass. “We have a little girl to go see.” He pecks me on the lips and I pull away. “Hey, let me see that list,” he says as I start to walk away.
I toss him my phone. “You know the code. It’s in the notes app,” I say over my shoulder.
Ten minutes later, he walks into my childhood bedroom—where we’ve been staying—and tosses my phone on the bed before stripping out of his clothes. “Amelia called to check in. Everything is good. Daisy is sleeping. Everyone is still here, and she’s going to meet us as well. We’re going to grab something to eat before heading back to the hospital.”
“That actually sounds great. Thank you.” I pull my tank top over my head, slide my feet into some flip-flops, and sit on the bed. Grabbing my phone, I open the notes app and see almost every item checked off.
“Um… Mark, this is more than just a few things.” I hold up my phone, showing him the list even though he’s already seen it.
“Maybe.” He shrugs. “I didn’t want you to stress over having what you needed.”
“I’ll pay you back,” I tell him.
“Now, you’re just talking crazy.” Leaning down, he kisses me. “Let’s go, Pixie, before we’re late.”
“Mark,” I say, trying to get his attention.
“Chop-chop, woman,” he calls over his shoulder.
Collecting my phone, I follow after him. He may think I’m not paying him back, but he’s wrong. It might not be right away, but I’ll make sure I do.
“What are we doing here?” I ask Mark as he pulls into the church parking lot.
“Well, I know the service today was small,” he starts.
“By small you mean the only people who showed up was us and our friends?” Destiny has burned so many bridges the attendance was low. Sure, I’m exaggerating and a few of her friends from high school attended, but the number was low, and if not for our core group of friends, it would have been much smaller.
“Anyway,” Mark says, moving on, “we know she didn’t have a lot of people in her life, and before you comment, we also know that was her doing. However, she’s still your sister, and getting together after the services is a thing,” he says.
“A thing?” I ask, trying to turn the conversation light. I’ve cried enough tears in this lifetime.
“Yes, a thing.” He rolls his eyes. “So we asked the minister if we could use the community room, and the girls put a little something together.” He pulls the keys from the ignition. “Now let’s get moving.” He pushes open his truck door. I follow suit and meet him at the front of the hood. He reaches for my hand and that’s how we enter the church. It’s been years since I’ve been here. Destiny and I would come with our grandma before she passed away. I tug on his hand to stop him. “I feel bad. This isn’t my church.”
“Don’t worry about that. Come on.” He pulls gently on my hand and we step through the side door of the church that leads to the community room. I stop and take a look around. Our friends are here, their kids. Kendall’s parents, who have become so much my own since we’ve been friends. Mark’s parents are here as well.
Kendall pushes through the crowd and pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she says, and my eyes mist with tears. Reagan is next, then Amelia. Followed by Kendall’s mom, Sonia, and Reagan’s mom, Heidi, as well as Mark’s mom, Theresa By the time the men take their turn, I’m a crying, sobbing mess. The last hug is from Mark. His is the strongest and the longest.
“We’re here for you,” he whispers, just for me.
I nod and wipe my eyes with the tissue that appeared a few hugs ago. I don’t know who gave it to me, but I’m thankful. “I don’t know what to say,” I admit.
“There’s nothing to say,” Heidi says. “You’re family.”
“Come make a plate.” Heidi links her arm with mine and guides me to where a spread of deli sandwiches, fruit, and vegetable trays are waiting.
“Thank you for this, for today. I know you didn’t get to meet her, but she was… this vibrant little girl. We used to play dress-up and make mud pies,” I say with a smile, thinking back to when we were younger. “Dest always had a mind of her own and marched to the beat of her own drum. We just didn’t know that would lead her down the wrong path.” I wipe under my eyes to keep the tears from falling. “We tried so many times to help her. My parents—” I swallow hard. “My parents did everything they could. They died trying to help her.” Mark leans over and puts his arm around my shoulders.
“I went through this… phase I guess you could call it where I felt sorry for myself that I have no living relatives. Well, except for a tiny baby girl. I know now that I was wrong. Family is not just blood. It’s heart. Everyone in this room has a piece of my heart. I can’t tell you what it means to me to know I have you in my corner. I love you all. Thank you for being here.” I grab a napkin and wipe the tears that I couldn’t stop from falling.
Mark leans in and kisses my temple. “I love you,” he whispers, before going back to his plate of food.
My pain glossed over the fact that I do have a family. We may not share the same bloodline but their hearts are connected to mine. Family is what you make it, and sitting here, I know I’ve made a good one. Surround yourself with good people, people who share your heart, your fears, and your goals. Open up to them, let th
em see you for who you really are, and they will forever be your family.
Before today, I was scared of raising Daisy on my own. But looking around this room, I know I don’t have to be afraid. I have a huge support system, and I’ve finally accepted that. Daisy and I are lucky to have them in our lives, and not a day will go by that I’ll ever take that for granted. I look over at Mark, and he’s laughing at something Kent just said. I’ll never push them away again.
These are my people and I need them more than ever.
Chapter Twenty
Mark
I stayed in Mason a few more days after the funeral. Daisy is doing well, growing and getting stronger every day. Now that she’s out of the woods, Dawn started staying at her parents’ place. I think it’s been good for her to be surrounded by them in their place. Fortunately, she’d left most of the furniture to stage the house as the realtor thought that would be best. There are only a few pieces that she kept and took back to her place. The photos and other personal items she wanted to keep have been packed up and moved to her place as well. Still, it’s the home where she grew up filled with memories. I know it’s hard for her, but my pixie is holding strong.
“How’re the girls?” Seth asks.
It’s early Monday morning and I’m back on the job. I got home late last night. “They’re doing good. Daisy is growing and gaining weight. She should be able to come home soon.”
“Glad to hear it,” Kent says, joining the conversation.
“You ready for this?” Tyler asks.
“Ready for what?”
“A baby around all the time.”
