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Slowly, she lifts her head and her hazel eyes lock on mine. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles.
Cupping her face in my hands, I wipe under her eyes with my thumbs. “Baby,” I say softly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay to cry, to scream, and throw things. You’re grieving. All of that is okay, but you have to promise me something.”
“Okay,” she agrees quickly, not even knowing what I’m going to ask of her.
“You have to stay with me,” I tell her. “You have to let me be here like this with you. Don’t hide your pain from me. Share it with me, Pixie. Let me help you through this.”
“You didn’t sign on for this.” She pulls back, causing me to drop my hands from her face. She runs her palms over her eyes before she speaks again. “I don’t know how to get past this, Mark. How do I deal with the fact that my parents are dead? How do I deal with the fact that my drug-addicted sister caused their accident?”
“With me by your side. And you take it one day at a time.”
“That’s more than just a hook-up bargained for,” she remarks, averting her gaze.
I have to remind myself she’s grieving and the talk we’ve been putting off has never happened. “Dawn.” I wait, but she doesn’t look at me. “Can you look at me?” I ask. She hesitates but turns her once-again tear-filled eyes to face me. “Is that what you think this is? That you and I are just… hooking up?”
“Isn’t it?” she counters.
“No.”
“Look, I know I’m a mess right now, but honesty is important.”
“I’m telling you the truth.” I capture her hands with mine and place them over my chest. Over my heart. “We’re more.” I whisper the words as her bottom lip trembles. “Let me be here for you.”
She nods as more tears escape. She stands from my lap and wipes at her face. “Take me home.” She must read the confused expression on my face. “Not here, my home. I need… I need to get out of here. At least for a few days.”
“Okay.” I stand to go tell the others when they enter the room.
“You go on ahead. I’m going to wrap up this food, take some with us, and toss the rest. We’ll lock up,” Kendall says.
“I can do it,” Dawn says.
“I know, but how often does Mark offer to take care of you?” Kendall smiles softly. “Take advantage while you can.”
“Right?” Reagan chimes in. “You’re in need of a massage, right?” She winks.
Dawn looks up at me and smiles. “He always takes care of me.”
“Well, regardless, take what he’s offering. We’ll be right behind you,” Kendall insists.
“Thank you.” Dawn throws her arms around Kendall and hugs her tightly. I watch as she hugs everyone else just the same, before coming back to me.
“We’ll see you guys later.” I wave and lead Dawn out to my truck. She snuggles into the passenger seat with the heater on high. She’s sound asleep before we hit the highway.
Chapter Seven
Dawn
These last few weeks have been hard. We buried my parents two days before Thanksgiving. When that should have been a happy time, celebrating what we’re most thankful for in life, I was grieving the loss of the people who gave me life. I was mourning my sister, who was in court-mandated rehab because I called the cops on her. She missed our parents’ funeral. She didn’t get to say goodbye. She caused the accident by her own admission, so I shouldn’t feel sorry for her. Yet, I do. The guilt eats at me. I know that the chances of her actually showing up at the services was slim to none and even if she did show she more than likely would have been high out of her mind, but still, I took that choice.
Kendall assures me that Destiny took that choice all on her own when she started using. She made the choice to use, and the consequences of her actions alone are what prevented her from being at the funeral. I know she’s right, and my head knows that she’s right, but my heart, the one that still aches for my baby sister, can’t seem to understand.
Destiny was released from rehab two weeks ago, and I have no idea where she is. I don’t know where she’s living or if she’s okay. I left a note for her for the day she was released to call me. That call never came. I have a real estate agent who has shown the house almost daily since we listed it and she has assured me no one is staying in the house. Mom and Dad left it all to me, knowing I would do the right thing. In other words, not let Destiny sell it or their belongings for her next fix. If only she would get clean and stay that way. I wish there was some way I could help her. Some way I could get through to her.
I’m learning to live in a world without them, which makes today so much harder. It’s Christmas Day. Last night we celebrated with our friends and their kids. Knox, Everly, Ben, and Beck had a blast opening their gifts. They seemed to prefer the boxes and the paper over the actual toys, though, but regardless, they were adorable, and it was a good day. I smiled a lot, and that’s been a rarity for me over the past few weeks.
Today, however, is altogether different. Mark and I are going to his parents’. I tried every excuse under the sun to get out of going, but he wouldn’t hear of it. Marcus Adams has been my saving grace since the day my world was ripped apart. He has the patience of a saint, and no matter how sad, or angry, or distant I seem to be, he keeps coming around.
“Dawn.” He gives my thigh a gentle squeeze, pulling me out of my thoughts. Blinking twice, I turn from where I’ve been staring out the window of his truck to look at him. “We’re here. You okay?”
“Not really,” I admit. “But I will be.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, rubbing his hands over his face. “I shouldn’t have forced you to be here. I just… the thought of you being at your place on Christmas without me killed me. I need you here.”
“It’s okay.” I reach out and place my hand on his cheek. “I need you to push me, Mark.”
“You’re still grieving.”
“I am,” I agree. “But I’m also living. Well, I’m alive. I need to live my life. If not for me, then for them.”
“That’s—”
I smile. “A change?” I finish for him. “Yeah, it is. I’ve been thinking a lot about them, and they would never want me to stop living life. Losing them—” I swallow hard. “Losing them splintered my heart, but they gave me life, and I need to live it for them.”
“There’s my pixie,” he says affectionately. “I know today is going to be hard on you, and well—” He stops as if trying to organize his thoughts. “I wanted to share my family with you,” he says softly. “You’re important to me, and so are they, and I just thought… I want you here,” he finishes.
“You’re an amazing man, Marcus Adams.”
He leans in and lightly presses his lips to mine. “You make me a better man,” he says before pulling back. “Now, are you ready for the Adams family madness?”
I throw my head back and laugh. “It’s a good thing I’ve met your family or that would have me running in the opposite direction.”
His blue eyes twinkle with laughter as he winks. He pushes open his door and collects the two bags of gifts from the back of the truck. I do the same, picking up the red velvet cake I made. It was my grandmother’s recipe, and my mom made it every year for Christmas. It’s my turn to keep those traditions alive.
Before I can get the door open, his sister, Meghan, is there to greet us. Her smile is bright as she holds her son, Isaac, on her hip. “Look who’s here, buddy,” she tells him.
“Is that my son?” His mom, Theresa, appears, holding Imogen in her arms.
Isaac and Imogen are twins and were born not long after Knox was. They’re adorable, with dark hair like their daddy, and big blue eyes that mirror their Uncle Mark, as well as their mom
.
“Get in here, you two,” Theresa says, stepping back and ushering us in. Imogen reaches for Mark.
“Let me put this down, baby girl, and then I’ll get you,” he tells her. I follow him into the living room where he places the two bags of gifts by the tree and then takes the cake from me. He kisses my nose and takes off for the kitchen.
I’ve been here a handful of times over the last couple of years, but he’s never shown me any kind of affection in front of his family, so the fact that he just did kind of stuns me. We don’t hide that we’re… whatever we are from our friends, but his family and mine, we were always just friends in their eyes. Sadness washes over me when I think about my parents not being there when I get married or for one day when I have kids of my own.
“You okay, baby?” Mark comes up behind me, his hands landing on my hips.
Turning to face him, I force a smile and nod. “Yeah, just… taking it all in,” I tell him honestly.
He laces his fingers through mine and leads us into the family room. Keeping his promise, he releases my hand and heads to where his mom is standing and takes Imogen from her arms. She giggles when he kisses her cheek, and she lays a sloppy kiss right on his lips.
“What can I do to help?” I ask Theresa.
“Not a thing. We’re ready to eat. I just have to put the rolls in the oven.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Go have a seat. It’ll be ready in a few.” With that, she walks past me to the kitchen.
“Hey,” Meghan says, coming to stand next to me. Isaac reaches out for me to take him, and I do easily. “He doesn’t know a stranger that one.” She laughs.
“Hey, buddy,” I say, and he gets shy and rests his head on my shoulder.
“Hold up,” Mark says, joining us with Imogen still in his arms. “You’re going to have to find your own girl, little man. This one’s already taken,” he tells Isaac, tickling his side. Isaac just giggles and snuggles further into me. In turn, I wrap my arms around him, soaking up all of the snuggles he’s willing to offer. “Of course.” Mark laughs. “They always leave you for the younger ones.” He grins.
