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“You didn’t think you should have told me?”
“Why? You were finally moving on with your life. I didn’t want to see you miserable, waiting around on him forever.”
“So, now, here I am.” I laugh humorlessly. “The day of my wedding and I’ve not slept in over twenty-four hours, and all I can think about is the look on his face last night. The pain in his eyes when I told him to leave.”
“Why did you tell him to leave?”
“How can you even ask me that? Why are you asking me that?” Am I suddenly living in some kind of alternate universe?
“Just answer me honestly. Why did you ask him to leave, Reese?”
“Because I couldn’t listen to him any longer. He wants what he can’t have. He’s always been protective of me. He will never think that anyone is good enough for me. So he’s using the one thing he knows will get to me. Telling me that he loves me.”
“I think you’re wrong. In fact, I know you are.”
“How? How could you possibly know that?”
“I know because I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I know because anytime we see him or talk to him, all he wants to talk about is you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You were happy, Reese. At least I thought you were. These tears are telling me another version of the story.”
“I am happy. Hunter is great.”
“But?”
“No.” I shake my head. “No buts. Cooper had his chance, and he rejected it. Rejected me.”
“Did you ask him why?”
“He said he didn’t want to lose me, but now he’s lost me anyway, or something like that. I don’t know. It’s all starting to run together in one giant loop in my mind. I didn’t sleep at all last night. I’m sure my eyes are red and swollen, and I have to get married in a few hours.”
“You don’t have to do anything.”
“What?”
She gives me a sad smile. “You said that you have to get married. You should want to get married because you can’t imagine your life without him, not because you feel like it’s the right thing or the next step.”
“I love Hunter.”
She nods. “I’m not saying that you don’t love him. Do me a favor. Close your eyes.”
“I don’t have time to play games, Tessa. My life is falling apart here.”
“Trust me, Reese. Just close your eyes.”
“Fine.” I do as she asks and close my eyes.
“Now, I don’t want you to say a word. I don’t want to know what you see unless you want to tell me. I’m going to ask you a few questions, and you need to let your heart give you the answers. Not your head. Got it.”
“This is crazy.”
“Maybe, but humor me anyway.”
“Okay. My eyes are closed,” I say, even though I know that she can see me.
“Think about your wedding day. Who do you see waiting for you?”
My eyes pop open. “Come on, Tessa. This is crazy. I’m marrying Hunter in a matter of hours.”
“Close your eyes.” She points her index finger at me. “You agreed to cooperate,” she reminds me.
“Fine.” I again close my eyes.
“Now, when you think about your wedding day, who do you see waiting for you? Don’t tell me, I mean, unless you want to, but this is just for you. Just think about it. Let your heart lead your mind.”
With my eyes closed, I think about my wedding day. The one I had secretly always planned. It was always Cooper who was my groom. Standing at the altar, waiting to start our lives together. It was a fantasy, a dream I knew would never come true, but my heart knows that’s always been the plan.
Cooper was my plan.
I squeeze my eyes tight, warding off the tears. “Okay, now think beyond the wedding. Who do you see living each day with? Who makes you smile and laugh? Who makes you go weak in the knees?”
This isn’t what I need right now. I open my eyes to find her watching me intently. “This isn’t helping, Tessa. I’m getting married today. I need to figure out how to hide that I’ve had zero sleep and to take the redness out of my eyes.”
“Is that what you want?”
“It’s what’s happening.”
“Okay.” She stands to grab her purse from where she dropped it on the floor. She digs around until she pulls out a bottle of eye drops. “Here. Put a few drops in each eye. Lie down for a few minutes. We still have an hour before we have to be there. I’ll wake you if you fall asleep.”
“I won’t sleep.” I’m certain of that.
Taking the eyedrops, I lie back on the couch and drop about five drops in each eye. I’m not sure if that’s the right amount, but that’s what I’m going with. Closing my eyes, I try to ward off the chaos that is my mind, but nothing works. My phone pings with a message. Reaching behind me, I feel around for it. I don’t open my eyes until I have it in my hands and in front of me.
