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“How?” I’m sure it’s just her suspicion, but maybe, just maybe whatever she has to say will help me work all this out in my head.
“He told me.”
“What do you mean, he told you?”
“The day of the rehearsal. Nix and I found him sitting in the parking lot waging a war with himself on whether or not he could go inside. Nix called him out on his feelings for you, and he told us he loved you.”
“Because of the wedding. You know as well as I do that Cooper has always been protective when it comes to me, to a fault. Like my father, he thinks that no man will ever be good enough for me.”
“Yeah, but your dad was willing to give you away. Cooper, on the other hand, was not.”
“He didn’t protest. He had the chance. He was there in the back row and didn’t say a peep when the preacher asked if anyone objected.”
“What would you have done if he did that, Reese? How would you have acted?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you want him to stand up and declare his love for you?” Her voice is soft.
“Is that so bad? He comes to me and says he loves me… not just that he loves me, but he’s in love with me. It’s done behind closed doors. That night in his room at the house, that was behind closed doors, even though he pushed me away. Last night was again behind closed doors. He says he wants me, yet it’s all words, Tessa. I want to believe him. My heart is screaming at me to believe him. My head, well, that’s another story.” I pause and finish off my drink. “My head tells me the facts. That I’ve loved him for years, and when I offered him more, he refused. Now, all of a sudden, when I’m set to be married and live happily ever after, he wants me. Tell me that doesn’t sound like he just wants something he can’t have?”
We’re both quiet as we stare out at the ocean. I want to believe he loves me. I want to believe we can ride off into the sunset, but I know that if I let myself think that way, if I let my heart wrap around his, that when he decides to push me away again, I will never survive it. I know this. I know my heart can’t take thinking he’s mine and losing him all over again.
“I hear what you’re saying and agree with you. Although, I know it’s different this time. I see it in him, in both of you. It’s easy for me to say this as an outsider looking in.”
“I don’t know where to go from here, Tess. I’m at a loss with how to move forward. My heart and my head are at battle, and I don’t know what to do.” My voice cracks as the emotions I’ve been trying to hide shine through.
“It’s simple,” she says, finishing off her own drink.
“Oh, yeah? Care to enlighten me?”
“You make him work for it.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Make him work for it. You’re worried he’s going to change his mind. You’re worried he’s only telling you he’s in love with you because he doesn’t want to lose your friendship. So make him show you. It’s more than just the words; it’s also the actions.”
“I get what you’re saying, but how do I do that?”
“Tell him the truth. That you want him, that your heart wants him, but you’re scared. Leave the ball in his court. See what he does.”
“I don’t know if I can do that and still not get crushed.”
“Let me ask you this. If the two of you don’t end up together, romantically, do you still want him in your life?”
“Yes.”
“Then you have to find a way. You have to look past the fear and the hurt, and you have to give it a shot. I know you, Reese. I know he is the only man you want. You have to take a risk.”
“Take it slow,” I say, repeating her earlier words.
“Yep,” she says, popping the p. “Tell him your fears. The only way any relationship is going to work is with honesty. You never told him how bad he hurt you, and he never told you how pushing you away hurt him.”
“I know we need to sit down and talk.”
“And let him woo you.” She grins. “See just how serious he is. Sure, you kept the fact that he hurt you to yourself, but you offered yourself to him, and he refused. He needs to prove he’s ready for more.”
“Do I tell him that?”
“No. Tell him the truth. The pain you’ve been hiding and that you want to take things slow. See how he acts. If your theory of him wanting what he can’t have is true, he’ll get bored. If he loves you, like I know he does, he’s going to show you.”
