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I’ve also lost track of how long I’ve been here. Everything is a blur from the moment I stepped outside the convent. I tried to keep count at first. Trying to judge the shift from day into night by the actions of people outside and how many meals they brought me. I think they bring one meal a day and it’s usually toward the evening. I know it’s evening when they feed me because there’s a skylight above me and when they take the top off, it’s the first thing I see.
The light hurts my eyes when they take the top off—a product of staying here in the dark for so long. I smell. There’s no way to get around it. There’s been no bathing, no personal hygiene concerns at all. There’s only me… my wooden prison and small bucket across from me that I’ve been forced to use as a toilet. It stinks—though thankfully it is emptied once a day.
I’m living like a dog in a pound… probably worse.
I think I have a fever. I can’t be sure. I’m always cold, but today I’m dizzy—even disoriented. I can hear voices around me, but I’m having trouble concentrating on them. I shake my head hoping to focus, but I end up moaning as the room spins harder.
“Sounds like the drugs are working.”
“About time. Jesus, I almost dread pulling her out of there. She smells like shit.”
I swallow down the bile that rises as I hear them talk about me. I instinctively know they’re talking about me, but I can’t…
“You would too if you’ve been in a box for a month. Stop your bitching and help me pull her out. The boss will be here today and he wants to see the merchandise.”
“Dude, what’s the endgame here? Do we even know? What the hell does he have planned?”
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
“But—”
“You’re getting a shit load of money for doing very little. Stop asking fucking questions. In our line of work that’s a sure way to end up dead.”
“Fine. Whatever. It seems a little screwed up if you ask me.”
“Nobody’s asking you shit. Let’s pull her out of the pen and clean her up. Boss wants her in those clothes he sent over.”
“Now that part I won’t mind.”
“What’s that?” I hear one of them ask as the top of my crate begins to move.
“Strippin’ the bitch. You see those Double Ds she’s packing? Won’t mind playing with those babies at all—not after we get rid of the smell.”
“Do whatever makes you happy. Just remember your dick don’t get in her, that’s our only rule.”
“Not like he’d know. Maybe that mouth…”
His words make the bile rush back and I vomit as the bright light from above pours inside my hell.Devil“You back for good, man?”
“Yeah,” I answer. “Got back in town last night.”
“Was beginning to think you were going to move down there with Beast,” Fury cracks.
“Aww. Did you miss me?” I crack.
“Like a case of the fucking shits,” he responds.
“How is Beast?”
“Finally happy.”
“Damn, really? Did he go back to his club?” Fury asks.
“Nah. Not yet. I think he and Hayden are going down that way in a couple of months. It will be hard for him, but I think with Hayden by his side he’ll be okay. She’s encouraging him to reconnect with his old life and his friends.”
“That’s good. Diesel said she was a good woman.”
“One of the best,” I agree and for the briefest second a picture of Torrent floats through my brain. I’ve done a good job of putting her behind me the last couple of months. I’ve had to. It’s stupid to miss a woman who was never yours. I do, but I’m learning to live my life. I’m not going to grieve over a woman who didn’t choose me—who walked away from me without a thought. It’d be stupid. Besides Diesel, Fury and the rest of them are right. Torrent already had her life planned out and her choices made. There was no room for me.
There never was.
That’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s the truth.
“Good. Now all we need to do is to get you back in the saddle with women—”
“Already done, compadre,” I answer, cutting him off. I recline back and take a long pull off my drink. I think back to my little rendezvous with DD and Jenn. It wasn’t bad for what it was, even if DD was too damn clingy.
“No shit? Who is it?”
“No one important. Just a couple of ladies that are friends with Hayden.”
“Damn. Good for you. Sure as hell nice to have you back, old man.”
“Good to be back.”
“I’m headed out to Sal’s tonight. You want to go?”
Sal’s is a local strip club the boys hang out at a lot. I don’t really have the urge to go, but I shrug it off. I don’t really want to stay here either.
