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He’s gone.
I’m alone.
He left me…and he’s not coming back.
He’s given up on me.Diesel“You want to explain to me why in the fuck you are here and not back in Murfreesboro with Devil?” I growl at Fury.
“Devil and I decided you were the one who needed to have your back watched the most. Devil was worried about where your head was at.”
“Jesus Christ! Last time I looked I was still wearing the patch that said I was president of this fucking crew.”
Silence around the table meets me and that’s when I know that Devil has opened his big mouth.
“When were you going to tell us?” Crusher asks, leaning up on the table to lock gazes with me.
“I hadn’t decided yet,” I mutter, pushing my hand into my hair and getting it off of my face.
“Bullshit. If you’re going to leave and back out like a punk then at least have the balls to tell us the truth,” Crusher responds.
Anyone else, I’d nail to the wall—with my fist.
Not Crusher. For one, Crusher doesn’t take shit. I made him my VP for a reason. We’d be a pretty even match, but my heart wouldn’t be in hitting the asshole. But, even that’s not the reason I don’t slap him down.
The reason is guilt.
I’m the reason that Crusher is here. I convinced him to leave Dragon’s crew and start over here. He and his old lady both needed it, and I needed someone I could trust to help me build a club that could wear the Savage name proudly. Until we put roots down here in Tennessee and Crusher came, my crew was mostly nomads searching for a home. Crusher was the first piece of the puzzle that made us… a family.
“I’m tired. I’ve been fighting this unseen enemy for too fucking long. I can’t keep it up.”
“Leaving isn’t going to fix that,” Fury answers.
“It might,” I respond with a shrug. “The club is the reason I have enemies. It’s definitely my enemies that are bankrolling Vicki’s madness. She’s not smart enough to do this shit on her own. Christ, I know you all mean well, but you don’t know what it’s like. You see it… but you don’t live it every fucking night. I’m tired. I’m bone tired.” I lay it out for them, because I’m damn tired of fighting.
“You’re not thinking this through,” Gunner says. He’s a former member of Dragon’s crew too. He joined up a few months back. He and Freak couldn’t work together anymore. They were brothers in the crew, but they were also brothers in real life. There’s a story there and I didn’t ask the particulars, I only know that Gunner needed a place to land. With Dragon’s blessing I opened my doors. I need men I can trust and Gunner is definitely one of those.
“I am,” I argue, but he’s not wrong. I’m tired of thinking. I just want some peace.
“If the enemy finds you or Ryan and we’re a part of your life, we can help. You leave the club, and the club protection, how in the fuck are we supposed to help you if you get into trouble? We won’t know a damn thing about it. Think this through, Diesel, man. Every man in this club would die to protect you and Ryan,” Crusher adds.
“I don’t want you to. I don’t want a single one of my men dying because of my choices.”
“Christ, you don’t even know if it’s your choices that’s to blame for this shit.”
“Maybe not, but Vicki is my mistake and she’s tangled up in this crap. That’s definitely on me. It’s my mess and it’s not the club’s place to clean it up,” I argue with them all.
I know they all mean well. Crusher, Gunner, Fury… all of them, they care about me. We are a family, so I get they’re upset. But this is my life. This is the life of my child. I’m tired of staying here and being a sitting duck—not knowing what to expect. It’s time I take control and change up the battlefield.
It might be the wrong move, but fuck, at least it’s a move.
“So that’s it?”
“That’s it,” I answer Crusher. He’s not happy, it’s written all over his face, but he’s not going to argue with me any further and I guess I should be thankful for that.
“When do you leave?” Gunner asks.
“Not until we get Devil home safe. He’s in some hot water up that way with a girl.”
“Jesus, when is that man going to learn to keep it in his pants?”
“This is different. I’ll explain later,” I tell Gunner, cutting him off. “For now we need to talk to him and I want Fury and at least three of the prospects to head out to help him.”
“He didn’t let on like there was anything serious,” Fury argues. “You sure about this, Diesel?”
