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Probably too much.
“You’ll stay here.”
“I can’t. I’ve been here too long. I should have left the minute they hauled him away.”
“Why didn’t you?” Noah asks.
“I… What do you mean?”
“I saw in your eyes that you were planning on running. You were practically broadcasting it. My question is why didn’t you leave the minute you had the opportunity.”
“Noah, I don’t have time—”
“Answer the question, Gorgeous,” he says quietly, his voice vibrating down inside of me.
“I had to make sure Ryan was okay and get you out of jail,” I tell him, completely confused.
“You took my back, despite how I treated you. You looked out for my son, even when most women would have run the minute they could.”
“They wouldn’t and I—”
“Sweetheart, they would. Trust me when I tell you that I know human nature. With the history you have, after that scene outside, they would have run fast and hard.”
“Noah—”
“And that’s even without the added incentive with the way I’ve treated you.”
“But—”
“You had my back, Gorgeous. Now, I’m going to have yours.”
“You… But, Noah, I can’t stay. It’s too dangerous.”
“If this guy is as unhinged as you say—and everything points to that being the truth—it’s too dangerous for you to leave. He’ll find you again and when he does I won’t be there if you run. So now it’s time for you to stay, knowing you have a man who will have your back.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask him, not understanding what’s going on and wondering if I’ve somehow broken away from reality.
“That’s a loaded question that we’ll save for another day,” he says, not really giving me an answer.
“It is?”
“It is,” he confirms. “For now, we’ll sit at the bar and you will eat some of the soup Ryan and I made and we’ll plan.”
“Plan what?” I ask, letting him take my hand and lead me to the bar that’s at the end of his kitchen.
“On how to get your life back,” Noah says and even though everything in me says it’s not possible, I sit down at the bar. I eat chicken soup out of a can and I do it thinking it’s the best chicken soup I’ve ever had and feeling something that I don’t think I’ve allowed myself to feel in a long time.
Hope.23DieselThere’s a woman in my bed for the first time in forever. A woman in my bed and I don’t know what the fuck to do with her. Rory is not fitting into any category I try to put her in. She could have turned her back on me and on Ryan and even knowing what she was facing… she tried to protect my son. She’s scared to stay and I can see that fear plain on her face. She’s not pretending just to fuck me over, because she has no idea who I am. She’s scared and yet she still stayed.
At least tonight.
I’m not sure why. Maybe because she felt safer at my house than at her own. I made her stay, giving her one of my T-shirts to sleep in and telling her to take my bed. After I drop Ryan off at school in the morning, I’ll take her into town to see what the Commonwealth Attorney has to say about getting a restraining order against this fucker. She’s agreed to at least do that. I hope like hell they give her good news. If they don’t, she’ll run. I know she will and I’m not even sure I blame her.
I do another walk through of the house, making sure all the doors and windows are secure. I save Ryan’s room for last. After making sure that his window is secure and making sure the alarm on the window is active, I turn to look at my son. It’s like a fist wraps around my heart. Until Ryan, the only thing I ever loved was my club. Ryan opened my heart bigger than I thought was humanly possible. My world is wrapped up in that little boy.
I go over to his bedside and let my hand sift through his hair, his curls sliding over my fingers.
Nothing better.
There’s nothing better than being his father. I’d die for this tiny little boy, in a heartbeat. Every day with him is a new adventure. Fury once told me he’d never have kids, that they were chains and he didn’t want anything to keep him from being free. Ryan isn’t a fucking chain. He’s the glue that keeps my world together.
I lean down and kiss the top of his head and then walk back into the hall. I stare at the door to my room. That’s the one room I haven’t checked over. I checked before she went in there and I know she’s fine, but I want in the room. Why I want in the room is what is bothering me the most. I have no reason wanting this woman, her life is as much of a mess as mine is, but the need to touch her, even claim her, is there.
