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Fuck. I was going to ask her to move in and now this. Once a stupid son of a bitch, always one I guess.
“Just spit it out, Rory,” I tell her, tired of this cat and mouse game. I need her to just say it. I need to know what I’m dealing with. I need to know how bad this hit from her is going to be and just how much it will fucking cost me.
She jumps at my tone and I see her body tremble. I war with the guilt inside of me, immediately wanting to apologize. I don’t. I can’t afford to be weak here. I’ve been weak with her for way too long.
“Noah,” she starts and then sighs, not saying anything else and that’s starting to piss me off. I need to know what’s going on so I can begin dealing with the fall out.
“For God’s sake, Rory. Just spit it out,” I tell her, done with the waiting.
“I didn’t mean for it to happen, Noah. You need to know that.”
Christ.
Just hearing her say those words makes me sick to my stomach. Old memories swirl in my head, and so much of those memories are lethal. I keep that shit buried deep, but I carry it inside of me. With her words, it all comes barreling through me, surging through my veins… poisoning me.
“Will you just—”
“I’m pregnant, Noah.
Three words that completely destroy me and threaten to make my legs buckle underneath me.
Fuck.36Rory“Don’t do this, Rory,” Noah says, and of all his reactions, I didn’t expect this one.
I’m trying to breathe shallow, the nausea slowly beginning to fade. I’ve been in denial for over a week, but I took a pregnancy test yesterday morning.
There’s no denying it now.
“Noah—”
“Whatever you got cooking in that fucking brain of yours, Gorgeous, do not do this.”
“I don’t understand.”
“What we have is good. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t fuck it up by lying and trying to tie me to you.”
“Noah, I… lying? What do you mean lying?”
“Exactly. Don’t pull this shit, Rory.”
“Noah, I’m not pulling anything. I didn’t plan this. I—”
“There’s no way you could. We use condoms,” he growls and the look on his face and the tone of his voice is so cold, so full of… hate that I can’t breathe. “I always use condoms and the reason I always use them is because of lying bitches like you.”
If he had slapped me in the face it wouldn’t have hurt more. I put up with a man doing me that way because I was trapped. I’m not trapped with Noah. There’s no brother in command, with an army at the snap of his fingers. There’s nothing to make me take it this time around. I am not helpless… and I never will be again.
“Get out,” I tell him quietly.
He looks surprised for a minute and then he crosses his arms at his chest.
“I see we’re coming to the end of our show.”
“I—”
“Funny how you’re willing to backtrack so quickly when you know your lies aren’t going to go anywhere.”
“I’m not lying, Noah.”
“You are,” he says stubbornly, no emotion on his face… other than hate.
“I’m not lying. I dreaded your reaction, but not in a million years would I have guessed this is what it was going to be. I don’t know what you have to do to come to terms with the fact I’m carrying your child, but you need to leave and figure that out.”
“If you are pregnant, I have nothing to do with it,” he says and I want to scream at him, I want to hit him over and over until he realizes what he’s doing.
“Are you really doing this? What about your promises?” I ask him, not willing to believe he’s pushing me away like this. “All that spiel about cherishing what I give you, was that just lies so you could get laid?” I ask him and I hear the tears in my voice. They’re warring with the anger. I just pray that I can keep them at bay. I don’t want to cry in front of him.
“We have no problems as long as you don’t give me lies,” he says.
“I’m not lying, Noah! I’m pregnant! I took a test yesterday!”
His eyes move over me, cold and detached.
He’s a stranger.
“If you’re pregnant, Rory. It’s not mine,” he says coldly. “Which means on top of being a liar you’re a cheating wh—”
“Don’t! Do not finish that sentence, Noah. If you do we can’t come back from it.”
“We aren’t coming back from this, Rory.”
“What are you saying?”
“Exactly what I said. I cared for you. I gave you what I could. If that wasn’t enough, you should have just told me. You don’t make shit up and—”
“I’m not making it up!” I scream.
“Rory—”
“I’m in front of you, looking for your support. I’m telling you that I’m pregnant. I’m telling you that it’s your child. I’m begging you not to do this, Noah.”
