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I might be young, but I know without a doubt that when I fall in love, that’s exactly what I want. I refuse to settle for anything less. Mom always told me that when love is right, it creates miracles. She says that instead of it weathering with time, it becomes beautiful and passes in the blink of an eye.
I want that so damn bad.
Of course, between my dad, my brothers, and my numerous uncles that are strewn across several states… a man would have to be stupid to get within one foot of me.
For some reason, a picture of the man from last night sifts through my mind. I liked him. He’s not my usual type. Not to be a bitch or anything, but I usually only look at men who have skin the color of my own. I mean my skin is on the lighter side because of mom. My hair is different than my girl Keanna’s but still, everything about me screams BBC.
Big. Beautiful. Chocolate.
I’m never going to have small hips and I’ve definitely got junk in my trunk. I’ve been blessed with my mom’s boobs and I like it that way. I’ve never doubted my worth as a woman or worried about what I looked like. I’m pretty and that’s not being an egomaniac. I know I am. At the same time, my worth is not because I’m nice to look at. My mom has some horrific scars. She has a tattoo that covers most of them, but there are still some visible. That doesn’t make my father look differently towards her. He still thinks she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, and has constantly, despite her gaining baby weight and being what she calls ‘fluffy’. He doesn’t see the gray in her hair, or any of the things she bitches about. He sees bone deep beauty. I know, because he’s told us often enough. It’s because of this that I’ve always known beauty is on the inside. Some of the prettiest people I’ve ever seen are so ugly it hurts to look at them.
With parents giving lessons like that in your life, it’s hard not to be grounded. I’m not saying life is perfect. Being who I am and an outlaw biker’s kid can be hard. I’ve had foul words thrown at me, snickers behind my back, and numerous other things happen. For the most part, I’ve ignored it. Sometimes I would come home from school crying, but my parents never let the hurt fester. Dad always told me you learn to get tougher skin if you want to come out on top in this world and he’s right.
Anyway, maybe because I’ve been burned in the past by boys who wanted to get in my pants because they wanted to brag they could fuck the biker princess, I’ve not dated a lot. When I did, I always looked for someone away from the club life. Someone who had no idea what this life is like.
Chains definitely doesn’t fall in that category.
He has a lot of dark ink on him, hell I think he has more skulls on him than my uncle does—who is named Skull. He has muddy brown hair that’s long and shaggy, but sexy as hell. And it was dark last night, but the light from the sign above the club shined down pretty bright and his blue eyes were clear, almost Prussian—which has always been my favorite color.
I laugh as I make my way to my office for the day. It doesn’t matter what color home boy’s eyes are, or what he looks like.
He’s not for me.
There’s a reason that at nineteen—well almost, I’ll be nineteen soon—that I’m still a virgin. Boys might want to be seen with me and try to go there with me, but with watchdog brothers like mine, not to mention my dad and uncles… I’ll be lucky if I don’t die at eighty as a virgin.
Here lies Kayden Nicole West, she died from her va-jay-jay being overrun with cobwebs and smothering out all signs of life.
I sit down at my desk and drag out the ledger Mom has been keeping. She’s slowly bringing me in as her replacement. I’m young, but I’m damn good at this kind of thing. I’m going to college to get my accounting degree and will have it done way before schedule because I’ve taken college classes in high school. I have goals and I know exactly the life I want. I’ve always been like that and maybe that’s why Dad and Mom trust me to take this step—even if they rather I did it while living at home.
Last night was only my fourth night in my own place, but I love it. It’s just a small three-room apartment above the local flower shop downtown, but it feels like a mansion after living at home for so long with my two brothers and my parents.
