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CHAPTER ONE
AS THE TAXI rolled up the rise Cass Bellow looked out the window at the snow-blanketed Heatherglen Castle Clinic in northern Scotland. Why had she been sent here?
More than once she’d questioned her doctor’s wisdom in transferring her to this private clinic for physical therapy. Weren’t there plenty of other places in warmer climates? Particularly in her native US. Or, better yet, couldn’t she have just gone home and handled what needed doing on her own? But, no, her doctor insisted she should be at Heatherglen. Had stated that he sent all his patients with extensive orthopedic injuries there. He declared the place was her best hope for a full recovery. Finally, at her argument, he’d bluntly told her that if she wanted him to sign off on her release she must complete her physical therapy at Heatherglen.
As the car came to a stop at the front door she studied the Norman architecture of the building with its smooth stone walls and slate roof. The place was huge, and breathtaking. There were more chimneys than Cass had a chance to count. This place was nothing like what she’d expected. Though it was early November, festive Christmas wreaths made of greenery and red bows already hung on the outside of the lower floor windows. They further darkened her mood.
When she had been given the search and rescue assignment assisting the military after an explosion in Eastern Europe, she had never dreamed she’d end up in traction in an army hospital on a base in Germany. Her shattered arm and leg had finally mended, but she needed physical therapy to regain complete use of them. Now she’d been sent to this far-flung, snowy place to do just that. All she really wanted was to be left alone.
She opened the cab door and wind blasted her. Despite the heat coming from the still running car, she shuddered. As Cass stepped out, one of the large wooden castle doors, decked with a huge Christmas wreath full of red berries, opened. A tall man, perhaps in his mid-thirties, with the wide shoulders of an athlete stepped out. With rust-colored hair and wearing a heavy tan cable sweater and dark brown pants, he looked like the epitome of what she thought a Scottish man should be. As he came down the few steps toward her, he smiled.
“Hello, you must be Ms. Cassandra Bellow. I’m Dr. Lyle Sinclair, the medical director here at Heatherglen. You may call me Lyle.”
His thick Scottish brogue confirmed her earlier thoughts. Yet she was surprised by the way the sunny cheerfulness of his voice curled around her name, nudging at her icy emotions. Irritated, she pushed that odd notion away. This doctor was far too happy and personable for her taste. Her goal was to do what must be done with as little interaction with others as possible. She planned on nursing her wounds in private.
“Yes, that’s me.” To her satisfaction her flat, dry tone dropped the brightness of his smile a notch. If she could just get to her room and collapse she’d be happy. Her right side was burning from the ache in her arm and the agony of putting her full weight on her right leg.
“Flora McNeith, the physiotherapist whose care you’ll be under, couldn’t be here to greet you and asked that I get you settled in.” Concern filled his face. “Do you need a wheelchair? Crutches?”
“No, I can walk on my own. Run, that’s another thing.” She pulled at her jacket to stop the biting flow of air down her neck.
A light chuckle rolled
out of his throat and over her nerve endings. “I understand. Then let’s get inside out of this weather.” He looked up at the sky. A snowflake landed on the dark red five o’clock shadow covering his cheek.
Cass averted her eyes and gave the cobblestone drive, cleared of snow, a searching look. It was farther than she wanted to walk, yet she wouldn’t let on. The three steps up to the door looked even more daunting.
All she needed was fortitude to make the walk and climb those steps. She had plenty of that. Soft snowflakes continued to drift down as she took a deep breath and steeled herself to put one foot in front of the other. With another silent inhalation, she started toward the entrance. Dr. Sinclair walked beside her.
She managed the first two steps with no mishap but the toe of her short boot caught the edge of the last one. Grabbing at air, Cass finally found the fabric covering Dr. Sinclair’s arm. She yelped with the effort to hold on. Being right-handed, she’d instinctively flailed out that arm and immediately regretted it. Pain shot through it, but not as sharp as it had been weeks earlier. She gritted her teeth, thrusting out her other arm to ease the fall.
Instead of tumbling onto the steps, her body was brought against a hard wall of human torso. The doctor’s arm circled her waist and held her steady. Her face smashed into thick yarn. A hint of pine and smoke filled her nose. For some reason it was reassuring.
“Steady on, I’ve got you.” His deep burr was near her ear.
Cass quickly straightened, getting her feet under her even though pain rocked her. She refused to show it, having already embarrassed herself enough. Her lips tightened. “I’m fine. Thank you.”
Glancing at him, she got the weirdest impression that the concern in his eyes had nothing to do with her physical injuries, as if he was able to see her true pain. That was a crazy idea. She shook that odd thought off and focused on where she was.
Taking a third fortifying breath, Cass stepped into the massive foyer.
No way was she going to let him see the effort it took to keep walking. She’d lived through much worse. She’d always been self-sufficient. Weakness wasn’t in her vocabulary. As a young girl she had learned the power of being emotionally strong.
Still, that brief human contact had been nice.
There were two enormous cement urns filled with pine and berries on either side of the doors. Cass looked further to see the stone arched beams of the ceiling then on to a grand staircase. On the floor beside it lay a pile of pine wood. Here she was in this strange place for the holidays when all she wished for was home. She would get her arm and leg strong again as fast as she could, then return to America to grieve her loss in private.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” The doctor stood too close as if he was afraid she might stumble again.
“I’m fine.” The words sounded sharp and overly loud in the cavernous entrance hall. If she could just get to her room, she could nurse the excruciating throbbing in her arm and leg. She would be limping by then as well.
“On our way to your room, let me tell you where a few things are. This is Admissions.” He waved a hand to indicate a room off the hall. “Louise, my administrative assistant, and I have our offices there. She’s out this afternoon as well. You two can sort out the paperwork in the morning. I’m sure you’re tired.”
Cass was beyond tired. The effort it had taken her to travel from Germany to Fort William then the drive north had worn her out. She hadn’t recovered anywhere near as much as she wanted to believe.
“Over here is the dining room.” He walked across the hall and stood in a wide doorway.
Cass joined him. Despite her physical distress, she loved his accent. It was soothing, for some reason.
The room he wanted her to see was long and wide with a dark barrel ceiling sculpted out of wood from which hung large, black iron chandeliers. A fireplace Cass could stand up in filled the wall on the far end with flags arranged overhead. The walls were partially covered in wainscoting. Above that were a few male portraits in impressive frames. A huge table, surrounded by imposing matching chairs, capable of seating at least twenty people, stood in the center of the room. An oriental rug in blue and red lay beneath it. The only thing out of place was a pile of greenery on the floor in one corner and a few boxes stacked beside it.
He must have noticed the direction of her gaze. “Pardon the mess. We’re in the process of decorating for Christmas.”
Cass pretended he hadn’t spoken. Not even the holidays could heal her broken heart.
Dr. Sinclair was saying, “All meals are served here, unless there’s a reason the resident is incapable of joining us. We dress for the evening meal. It’s at seven.”
“Dress? As in diamonds and tux?”
Chuckling, he shook his head. “No. More like no workout clothes allowed. The idea is for the residents to use their skills and have something positive to look forward to. We work on the principle that if you don’t use it, you lose it.”
She glanced at him. He really was quite handsome in a rugged way. “Like?”
“Fastening a button, passing a bowl or even manipulating a fork.” He turned toward the central hall.
“I have no trouble with any of those so why must I attend?” She joined him.
“Because we want our residents to feel like they’re part of our family, which they are,” he said over his shoulder as he started down the hall.
She had zero interest in being sociable. All she wanted was time to herself to think about what she would do next, where she wanted her life to go. How she could get past the mass of emotions churning inside her. Could she continue working in search and rescue? Work with a new dog? Learn to trust another man?
Maybe she could just make sure she wasn’t around when it was dinnertime. This place sounded more like a prison than a clinic. “Hey, do you mind telling me why I was sent here?”
That got his attention. “So you can regain your mobility.”
“I know that. I mean why here in particular? Couldn’t I have gone to a clinic in America? What makes this place so special?”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “As I understand it, your orthopedic doctor believes this is the right clinic for you.”
She stepped toward him, pinning him with a direct look. “What led him to believe this specific clinic was the right place for me to complete my physical therapy?”
Dr. Sinclair shifted his weight and raised his chin. “I’m not sure what you’re looking for but our residents have an uncommonly high success rate of making as complete a recovery as possible, and by recovery I mean holistic recovery. Our state-of-the-art clinic features a peaceful atmosphere conducive to healing...” he waved a hand around, indicating the castle “...and our canine therapy has proved to be fundamental in facilitating that recovery as well. Does that reassure you?”
Canine therapy. Cass took a step back, her chest constricting. She couldn’t deal with this right now. It was too soon after the loss of her dog and partner, Rufus. “I’m not interested in canine therapy.”
Her German shepherd-wolfhound mix partner had been with her for four years. She’d had him since he was a puppy. She’d even gone to Germany to pick him up from the breeders. They had trained together at a search and rescue school in California. They’d understood each other, trusted one another.
Now he was gone. Despite him being an animal, the hurt of his loss was more acute than the pain of broken bones or her ex-boyfriend’s assessment of her ability to maintain a relationship. She and Rufus had been all over the world together, crawling in and over disaster sites that others only saw on TV while drinking their morning coffee. As a team, they had been a part of tragedies that no one should ever see or experience. Gratitude and guilt filled her in equal measure.
She felt the doctor’s keen observation and focused on his mild expression. He turned and started down an adjacent hall to the left, saying
, “This way to the lift.”
Cass glanced at the staircase in relief then followed, taking careful steps to ensure there wasn’t a repeat performance of what had almost happened outside.
He looked over his shoulder. “As our residents improve, they use the stairs whenever possible.”
Cass once more eyed the daunting set of wide steps made of gray marble. “And that’s mandatory?”
Dr. Sinclair gave her a grin. “‘Mandatory’ is such an unfriendly word. Why don’t we go with ‘greatly encouraged’? It’s part of the graduation program to be able to walk up and down the stairs, but we don’t require that until you’re ready.”
Did her relief show on her face? “What makes you think I’m not ready?”
“Maybe the tight line of your lips that indicates that little stumble outside hurt more than you wish to admit.”
Cass grimaced inwardly. The man had an acute sense of awareness. Could he see that more than her body pained her? That her heart hurt? Cass hoped not. She was nowhere near ready to share her feelings. “I don’t hurt.”
“Liar.” He gave her a flash of a smile. One she was sure made people want to confide in him, which she wasn’t going to do. As if he knew what she was thinking, he said in a gentle manner, “You do know it isn’t weakness to admit you’re in pain or that you need help. That’s what we’re here for.”
She’d had enough of this. All she wanted was to get to her room. “Who’re you, the resident shrink?”
They walked out of the elevator and started down a wide hallway lined with portraits. A few decorations were already in place here and there. A red carpet runner muffled their steps.
“No, but as clinic administrator and emergency medical doctor I help develop the patients’ therapy. All the doctors here work together to form patient plans. Recovery is as much mental as it is physical.”
“So you think I have emotional issues?” Cass certainly did have them. She couldn’t keep her job without a dog, and she wasn’t sure she could handle having another one. To possibly lose another best friend would be too much, too painful. To get close enough that someone or something mattered was more than she wanted at this point.
