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He cared too much about her. But could there really be more? What if he got sick again? Was he willing to put her through that? If he took a chance, would she leave him like Janice had?
“Hey,” China said, bringing him out of his dark thoughts. With the sun as a backdrop, she looked sweet, fresh and well loved. His heart swelled. He’d never seen a woman look more desirable. With great restraint, he stopped himself from grabbing her and taking her again.
“Hi.” The simple word came out rusty. He cleared his throat. “Come and have some lunch.” Payton stood and stepped to meet her. Offering his hand, he was pleased when China took it. He led her around one side of the cabin to the bow of the boat.
Her gasp made him look at her. “Is something wrong?”
“No. This is just so...wonderful. I hadn’t any idea you planned to eat up here.”
Payton smiled, pleased with his surprise.
She visibly relaxed.
“Come sit down. I think you’ll like my other surprise as well.”
Payton helped her sit on a cushion and took his place, making a point not to come into contact with her. He was afraid if he did the food would be forgotten one more time. Opening the brown bag, he pulled out a smaller white one with the name “Sid’s” printed in red on the side.
“You stopped by Sid’s.”
The sound of amazement in her voice made him smile. “I did,” he said proudly. He opened the bag, pulled out a sandwich in a wrapper and handed it to her.
“A shrimp po boy. My favorite.”
“I know. I asked.”
She looked at him with a shocked expression. “What’s wrong?”
“It’s just that I don’t think anyone has ever gone to the trouble to ask what I like.”
Why? Hadn’t someone, her parents, ever cared enough to be interested in her likes and dislikes? “Well, I did.” He grinned. “I also found out that you like hush puppies almost as much as you do chocolate.” Payton pulled his sandwich out of the bag then offered China a canned drink from the small, soft-sided cooler he had nearby. He removed the wrapping from his sandwich and took a bite. “This is good.” He shook the thick sandwich slightly in the air.
“You didn’t think you’d like it?”
He chuckled. “I guess not, but I should’ve known better.” As they ate he looked out over the water. Finishing his sandwich, he remarked, “It must have been nice to live in such an ideal place. Small-town USA. The beach nearby. Everyone knowing what you like to eat.”
Had China flinched?
She didn’t look at him as she said, “Sometimes things aren’t as ideal on the inside as they appear on the outside. Even paradise has its problems.”
“That’s mighty cynical.”
“You never know what towns, families, people are like until you’re a part of them.”
“My family is pretty tight-knit. Or at least they were until I left. I’m close to my sister, but then again she is about the only one not mad at me. Her husband and kids are great. The tough part about being in a family is that it doesn’t go well when you don’t go along with the ‘family plan.’”
China put her sandwich down on a napkin and looked off into the distance. “I can hardly remember what our family plan was”
“Why’s that?” Payton asked softly.
* * *
China didn’t understand it but for some reason she wanted Payton to know, to tell him the whole story. “I had a solid family. You know, the kind that everyone looks at and says, ‘That’s the perfect family.’ A father who had a good job, a mom who was home for us, three kids and a dog.” She put her hand up and made quotations marks in the air. “The perfect American family.”
“Something happen to that?”
“My brother turned sixteen and it was as if everything exploded. The band that had held us tight popped off. Chad had always been headstrong but as a teenager he really started bucking the rules. Began running around with the wrong crowd. Or at least it wasn’t the crowd my parents wanted him to be involved in.”
She paused. Did she really want Payton to know all her dirty laundry?
“And?”
With a sigh of resignation she continued. “Father got wind of it and cracked down. Hard. He suspected Chad was drinking and doing drugs. He had Mom search his room regularly. Dad forbade him to go out at night. Told him who he could see and not see. My brother rebelled big time. Things got difficult at home, his grades dropped and his relationship with Father went from bad to worse. There was screaming all the time, doors slamming. Mom and Father couldn’t agree about how to handle Chad and they fought. Mom isn’t a strong person and she finally gave up and let Dad have his way.” China took a sip of her drink, easing her dry throat.
“When the police called...” she hesitated but then blurted it out “...to say they’d picked up Chad on the beach, smoking pot with a group of other teens, my father went ballistic. Mom tried to calm him down but he wouldn’t listen to reason. Chad stayed in jail overnight. Father didn’t even drive him home.”
“And he ran away.”
She nodded, hating to see the look of pity on Payton’s face, but as she’d gone this far she might as well tell him everything. She said softly, “Mom and Father blamed each other for Chad’s behavior. She said he was too hard on him and he believed she went behind his back and let Chad have his way too much. I don’t know which it was. My parents still struggle with not knowing what has happened to him. Everything in our lives became either before or after Chad left. Not that we ever talk about it.”
“That had to have been tough.”
“Yeah, it was. Still is. Our family came apart like an old rag. Mom and Father are still married but they never really talk. My younger sister doesn’t speak to them. She was close to Chad and blames them for pushing him out. I even have to work at it to get her to have anything to do with me. She wanted out of the house and I just wanted what we had before my brother left—my happy family back. Kelsey managed to get through high school without getting into any real trouble. I ran interference most of the time when I thought Father might really blow his top.”
“Where’s your sister now?”
“Oh, she lives here in town.”
“And you don’t see her?”
“It does sound bad when you put it like that. I see her at Christmastime mostly. Even then I have to beg her to meet me somewhere. She refuses to go to our parents’. Won’t have anything to do with them. I might see her on an occasional birthday. I send cards on hers but she doesn’t do that in return. She’s a nutritionist at the hospital. There were a few years there I didn’t think she would finish school but she did.” China looked away from Payton. “I shouldn’t have dumped this on you. I’m sure you know more now about my family than you wanted to.”
“I?
?m glad you told me.” He brushed his thumb across her hand. “I want to know everything about you.”
She gave him a weak smile and removed her hand.
“Have you ever looked for your brother?”
“I think Mom did for a while without Father knowing it but the most I do is check the paper and see if he is ever in it. I think at this point on some level even Father would like to know that he isn’t dead. I certainly would.” She picked up her sandwich again. “Enough about my life. Hadn’t we better be getting back?”
“Are you ready to be captain again?”
“I kind of like being in control.”
He gave her a suggestive grin. “I’m going to keep that in mind.”
She heat crawl up her neck. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
He cupped her cheek. “Don’t apologize. I rather like the idea. And you’re right. We should be thinking about getting back.”
Together they gathered up what was left of their meal and stored it below. She changed into her top and jeans before leaving the cabin. Payton was coming in as she was going out. He pulled her to him, taking her mouth in a sweet and tender kiss. China wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him. A heavenly minute later Payton broke away with a groan.
“If we don’t stop here, I’m going to take you again right out here on the deck when I have a far more comfortable bed at my house.”
She gave him a pointed look. “Are you assuming that I’m going to join you?”
“Sweetheart, with you I don’t dare assume. The best I can do is hope. You always seem to surprise me.” With an exhalation he stepped away. “I’ll get the mainsail up,” he called. “You want to man the rudder again while I handle the jib?”
It was dusk when China watched as Payton maneuvered the boat into the slip at the marina. She had to admit this had been the best day of her life. Perfect. But could it last? Could he be her safe haven?
She had so much baggage. Payton did, too. Did he even want more than a sexual relationship? Could she or would she agree to anything further if he did? She needed security and he had just moved to town, had a new job and was trying to figure out the direction he wanted his life to go. Payton didn’t sound like the man for her in the long run.
