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Michelle didn’t answer as she exited the OR.
“Call the scrub desk and have Dr. Marcus come in and finish up for me,” he told his nurse.
Ty was only minutes behind Michelle. He found her in the locker room, sitting on a bench. She had removed her mask and tears showed on her cheeks. Michelle looked around as if she didn’t know which way to go. She wouldn’t like the staff seeing her going into meltdown. He jerked his mask off and grabbed her wrist. “Come with me.”
He led her out of the OR suite to the employee elevator and pushed the up button. Thankfully they didn’t have to wait long for the elevator doors to open.
“Where’re we going?” Good. She was coming back from that dark place.
“I’ll show you.”
“Ty, this isn’t the time for one of your games. I just want to be left alone.”
“This isn’t one of my games.” He was glad to see they had reached the top floor. When the doors opened he took her hand. She didn’t make any attempt to refuse it. That alone told him how upset she was.
When she started to speak he said, “Hush and follow me.” He circled around the elevator and pushed open the door to the roof.
“What’re we doing here?”
“I always find a place to go just so I can breathe. This is my place and I think you could use it today.”
“How do you get past Security?” The pragmatic Michelle had returned. That was an encouraging sign. For a second there he’d been concerned for her emotional health.
“I made a deal with Jimmy.”
“Figures. Why’re you doing this? You’re not my new best friend,” she said, pulling her hand out of his. This feistiness was better than what he’d seen in her eyes earlier.
“What happened in there?”
“Nothing. We had a bleeder. We found it. All in a day of surgery.”
That statement was too flippant, coming from Michelle. “I know better. Spill. Is it your mother?”
“Why would you think that?”
“Sixty-three-year-old female. Could have died. That’s who our patient is. Sound like any one you know? I don’t have to be a mind-reader to get the connection.”
“All brilliant deductions, Doctor. Yes. This one hit a bit too close to home,” she said with disgust.
Whether or not it was the situation or her, he didn’t know. He moved to where he could look out over the city, pleased she followed. If he could get her to talk, maybe he could help. He may be taking an interest in Michelle’s problems, but he wouldn’t be there for her for the long haul. She didn’t need to come to depend on him.
When she came to stand beside him he said, “Makes you feel like the king of the mountain to be up here. As if you have some control over someone’s life if not your own.”
She glanced at him. “What do you know about not having control? You go through life as if it is a fun ride at a carnival.”
“Take my word for it. I know it isn’t. Talk to me, Michelle.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She kicked at the gravel covering the top on the roof with the toe of her shoe. It reminded him of a little girl on the playground unsure if she should climb the monkey bars.
“But I think you need to. What gives?”
“What gives? Are you a hippy?”
“No, but I was raised by some hippy wannabes. But that isn’t what we are here to discuss.”
“What do you want to hear? I fell apart in the OR because the patient reminded me of my mother. Happy now?”
“Okay, but why?”
“Stop pushing, Ty.”
“Why? Your mother is getting better.”
She rounded on him. “Because I’m afraid she might die. I’ve already lost a father. I don’t have anyone else.”
She had isolated herself so completely that she had no one to turn to. “Your team has no idea your mother has been sick, do they?”
Michelle lowered her eyes and shook her head.
“You need to talk to them. When the surgeon breaks down over a patient, it unnerves the team. I knew it was serious when they all looked at you like a deer in the headlights. Not one of them blinked. They’re not used to that type of emotion from you. And they had no idea where it came from.”
“I didn’t get the name ice queen for nothing,” she retorted.
“I’m sorry. I know that must hurt.”
She shrugged.
He took her by the shoulders. “You need to tell them what’s going on in your life. They’re your friends. They’ll want to help. I want to help. Let me.”
“You can’t. It’s not something that you can laugh off and make okay.”
His hands dropped away from her. “That’s a little harsh, even for you, Michelle.”
She had the good grace to look contrite. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“You’re upset. Why have you kept your mother’s issue hidden?”
“Because I’m the surgeon, the leader. I have to be strong.”
“Agreed, but you are also human. Your mother is sick. You have every right to be upset. Patients and the people you work with also need to know you are human too.”
“Are you saying I’m not?”
“No, if anything I think you’re too human. Feel too much. You just refuse to show it. Are afraid to show it.”
She turned her back to him. Her shoulders slumped.
Ty wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. Her head rolled back to rest on his chest. “Aw, sweetheart, this too will pass. Cry it out and you’ll feel better.”
He might not. The more he knew about Michelle the more difficult it was going to be to leave in a few weeks. But leave he would. He always did.
* * *
Michelle sat reviewing a chart of one of her patients at the nurses’ station on the floor. Her mind wasn’t on what she was doing, as it should’ve been. Instead, it was on the last conversation she’d had with Ty. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to face him again. He’d seen through her!
She’d come unglued and he’d been there to witness it. After she’d recovered from her crying jag, they’d returned to the OR suite. She’d immediately spoken to the resident about the patient. He’d informed her that woman was doing well and was comfortable in CICU.
At least today she didn’t have any surgeries so she wouldn’t have to face Ty just yet.
“Did you hear about Ty?” one of the nurses told another in a raised voice. “He was hit in the parking lot this morning on his way in. He’s in Emergency,”
Michelle’s heart dropped to her stomach. She put her hands in her lap to stop the shaking. The sudden urge to run to the ER filled her.
“Is he badly hurt?” one of the nurses asked, so Michelle didn’t have to.
“I don’t know. I just saw all the commotion and a motorcycle on the ground. A couple of ER staff were there. That’s all I know.”
Michelle bit her lip and forced herself not to make a scene by jumping up and rushing to the ER. Logging out of the computer, she tried to act as normally as possible while her heart raced. All that went through her head was wondering how badly he’d been hurt.
The emergency room wasn’t a place that Michelle frequented. In fact, she had to follow the signs to find her way through the maze of hallways. When she arrived at the ER she was grateful for the lab coat that instantly identified her as a doctor and therefore gained her attention from the staff. The nurse at the desk looked up at Michelle, who asked, “Which room is Ty Smith in?”
The nurse looked at her as if she wasn’t sure about Michelle’s tone but checked the large chart on the wall. “Room four.” She pointed down the hall.
At the door Michelle hesitated. What was she doing? What if Ty didn’t want her there? She convinced herself he’d only been being kind to her mother and her and that he had no one else in town… Who was she kidding? She was worried about him.
Tapping lightly, she pushed the door open.
“Oh, my God,
Ty. Are you okay?” She hurried to the stretcher.
“Hey, Michelle.” He gave her a weak smile. That worried her more than anything. She’d never seen him with less than a cheerful grin.
“Don’t look so scared. It looks far worse than it is.”
She couldn’t imagine that being true. His right arm was covered in gauze from wrist to elbow. On the other side there was a bandaged area on his upper arm and one covering his palm. His scrub pants had been cut away and there was a bandage around his knee, along with other scrapes and bruises. It looked as if his helmet had done its job. His gorgeous face didn’t have a scratch on it.
“I told you motorcycles were dangerous.” She touched his hand. He curled a bloody finger around one of hers then grimaced with the movement.
“I do think you mentioned that.”
“Are there any bones broken?”
“Nope. A few stitches. Bruises and a possible concussion. I’m going to be out of commission for a few days, so I guess you won’t have to worry about me being late.”
“Not funny, Ty.”
“Why, Michelle, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you might care.”
“Come on, Ty. You’re hurt. I’d have to be heartless not to.”
