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“It’s this way.” He took her hand.
Helena wasn’t in the habit of holding hands but found the simple contact in the freezing weather comforting. Elijah wasn’t loving her and leaving her. It might have killed her if he had. She’d lived through that before, barely.
They walked around people coming toward them on the sidewalk as they all tried to dodge the ice patches. Once she misstepped and only because of Elijah’s help managed not to fall.
“Thanks,” she murmured.
“There’s an art to maneuvering winter sidewalks in New York.” He brought her closer.
“At least you have sidewalks. Where I come from there’s only two. One on each side of the main street.” If they talked about anything other than what had just happened between them then she could pretend they were just colleagues out for a meal. Maybe.
They continued walking until they were in front of a diner. Elijah held the door open for her to enter.
“There’s a booth over there in the back corner.” He pointed off to the right.
They both removed their jackets before sliding onto the benches, facing each other.
Elijah pulled a menu out of the stand at the end of the table and handed it to her. “The bacon burger is the best but you might want something different.”
A few minutes later a middle-aged woman in a blue uniform with a white apron stood at the table. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Hey, Gertie.”
“Hi, Elijah. Been busy, I bet.”
He grinned at her. “You could say that.”
She tapped a pencil tip on a pad as she spoke. “Nor’easters do that. We had people stacked up in here for a few days. So, what can I get you tonight? The usual?”
“You know me so well.” He smiled at Gertie again.
The man was such a charmer. It didn’t matter what age the woman was. Helena replaced the menu, willing her hand not to shake as she did so. When the waitress looked at her Helena said, “I’ll have the same.”
The waitress wrote on her pad. “It should be out soon.” Then she left.
“You do come here often.” Helen hoped the neutral subject would help her nerves settle.
“Yeah. It doesn’t hurt that it’s right across the street from my apartment,” Elijah said.
Would he ask her to his place? Would she go? “I guess that does help. So I’m guessing you aren’t one of those guys who’s into cooking.”
“I boil water when I have no choice. We had a cook when I was growing up. Not even my mother touched the kitchen.”
Just another real example of how different they were from each other. “My mother cooks meals every day. I cook on my days off.”
He leaned forward, giving her an intent look as if what she was going to say was of the utmost importance. “What’s your favorite meal?”
Helena didn’t have to think. “My grandfather’s chicken casserole, English peas, green salad with tomato.”
Elijah gave her a sidelong look of interest. “Is there a dessert with that?”
“Lemon meringue pie,” she said with a flourish.
The waitress returned with tall chocolate malts and placed them in front of them. “Burgers up in a sec.” She turned and was gone.
Helena took a long sip of the malt and shivered. “Mmm. Good. But cold for a night like tonight.”
“Yeah, but it pairs well with the burger. You just wait and see.” He took a sip through his straw.
They were acting as if they were two friends out for a meal instead of lovers recovering from an erotic interlude. It was like she was caught up in one of those snow funnels she’d seen along the sidewalk, being twisted this way and that, unable to make sense of what was happening. “This...” she waved her hand between them “...isn’t a good idea.”
His gaze met hers. “Why? Because you don’t want to like me or because you do? Look, there’s something special between us. I had no doubt after a few minutes ago.” He put his forearms on the table and leaned closer. His next words were for her ears only. “I still want you.”
Heat shot to her center. Just that easily Elijah had her body buzzing.
There was a note of confidence in his voice as he added, “By the flare in your eyes I can tell you know what I’m talking about.”
She looked away from him, her cheeks heating.
“It’s something I’d like to explore,” he said softly.
Helena boldly met his gaze. “Why?”
“Because I think, know, we could have fun together.” His eyes told her he was thinking about the out-of-control encounter they had just shared. “Let’s make a pact to see each other for the week. Until Grace and Charles get home. See what happens.”
“Why would I want to do that?” She fiddled with the salt shaker.
“Because we were good together a little while ago and you’re wondering if it’d be like that every time. I sure as hell am.”
She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t tempted. But she had acted on temptation before. That had resulted in emotional turmoil and the loss of a child. An affair wasn’t what she was looking for. What if she got pregnant again? Or she couldn’t carry the baby to term? The thought scared her to death. Elijah had already made it clear he wanted nothing to do with permanence. Being a father was a forever thing. Would she be able to handle it if he didn’t accept their child? Her first experience had scared her. She couldn’t relive it.
Looking at Elijah, she saw the desire in his eyes. Something she’d not seen from a man in a long time. What would be so horrible about a fling? To live a little? She’d been missing the touch of a man. It would be only long enough to get Elijah out of her system. Get over the yearning causing this ache in her. If she agreed to his suggestion she just wouldn’t let her heart become involved.
No, the idea of an affair was crazy. Everything about it. But she couldn’t help it. She wanted more of Elijah. Not just his body, which was beyond wonderful, but to get to know him better. To understand what made him who he was.
“Okay,” she said softly.
Elijah’s eyes widened. Was he surprised she’d agreed? His gaze narrowed, boring into hers, the longing clear in the blue depths.
The waitress returned with their burgers. Elijah said, without looking away from Helena, “Gertie, can you make those to go?”
Minutes later they were bundled up again with her hand in Elijah’s as he hurried her across the street.
She could have a fling. All she had to do put her mind to it and keep her heart out of it. That wouldn’t be a problem. She and Elijah didn’t want the same futures. Still, why not have some fun? Elijah unquestionably made her feel alive. Despite almost getting caught at the hospital, she had to admit there was a thrill to doing something risky.
But she knew too well that taking risks came with a price.
The question was how long this foolish obsession...lust...fascination would last. She’d ride the wave for the next week then hope she didn’t come crashing down. Had she just agreed to a hurt that she might never recover from?
The doorman at Elijah’s brownstone opened the door for them.
“Thanks, Giles,” he said as they hurried past. At the elevator Elijah pushed the button for the tenth floor. When the door opened, he put his hand on her waist and nudged her inside. As the door closed, Elijah set the bag of burgers on the floor and grabbed her. His lips found hers as he lifted her against him. The kiss was long and hot, an invitation for more.
The door opened before Elijah released her. She blushed to see an elderly couple watching them. The woman gave them a disapproving look. The man smiled at Elijah as if to say, You go, boy.
Helena put as discreet a distance between them as the elevator would allow.
“Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Albright,” Elijah sa
id, picking up their burger bag.
“Hello, Elijah,” the woman said in a peevish voice as she and her husband stepped in.
“Been down to see the grandchildren, I see?” Elijah acted as if it was no big deal that he’d been caught with a woman wrapped around him in the elevator. Had it happened before?
Helena was relieved to hear the elevator announce with a ding that they had arrived at his floor. Elijah once again put a hand on her waist and led her out.
“Goodnight, Mr. and Mrs. Albright,” he said over his shoulder.
Helena turned on him. “You enjoyed that, didn’t you?”
