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“Fuck this.” I’m done. Have been since she stabbed me. I mean how does one move past that?
“Let’s go,” I say to the blonde. “You can suck my cock in the bathroom.”
“Yes.” She hops off the stool. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to my place? I promise you… I’ll make you very happy.” Her smell bothers me. It’s all wrong along with her fake tits that stand pointy instead of full and luscious.
A tattooed arm comes between us. “Sorry, darlin’. I need to take him home to his wife.”
The wife part hangs in the air as Dolly’s face appears so clearly, I want to reach out and touch her. Blinking, I see a blonde because my fucking wife doesn’t want me. Calls me a criminal and thinks I’m not worthy of being a father. Barely good enough to be her husband. Back to being a dirty secret.
A rage that I’ve had for years erupts inside my head like a massive blood vessel that’s been waiting to burst.
“Axel, move. I’m gonna fuck her.” I point at what’s her name—the blonde. “And then you can tell Dolly in detail what I did. Let her fucking die inside so we both can rot in our torturous hell.”
“Jesus Christ.” Axel rolls his eyes. “Let’s go.” He reaches into his slacks, pulls out five hundred dollars, and lays it on the wooden bar. “I’m all for owning your own shit, but as your best man, I need to take you out of here.”
My head is ringing. He reaches for me and I step back and take a swing at him. Axel and I are even, but I hate the world so that must give me an advantage.
For some reason, though, I hit nothing. All I feel is air. “What the fuck?” I stare at the air trying to make my mind compute that I might be so fucked up I missed him.
“Marty.” Axel knocks on the bar. “Good seeing you, brother. I’m gonna take Edge out of here and kick his ass because that’s my job.”
Marty salutes him. As I feel myself being pulled, the blonde tries to follow.
I knock Axel’s hand off my cut. “Fuck you, Axel. You have no idea what I’m going through. None.” I spit on the pavement. Somehow, he’s gotten me outside in the alley, I think, if the smell of garbage is any indication.
“Excuse me,” he says over my shoulder to the blonde who tries to shimmy up on my back.
“I’m losing my patience, sweetheart. My buddy’s going through some shit. As his brother, it’s my job to help him.”
She cocks her head confused.
“In other words, get the fuck out of here.”
I swing around to her. She appears much older under the streetlight. Her expression looks like one of desperation; her shoulders are slumped.
I hold up my finger at Axel as I try to focus on her. “I’m sorry. I’m not going home with you. I’m not gonna fuck you. I only want my wife. You need to go home so I can kick Axel’s ass.”
I turn to look at Axel who stands like the dick he is, arms crossed, with his fucking trademark sanctimonious smirk. I can’t wait to punch him.
“Oh.” She still looks confused. “Do you?” Her eyes drift to Axel’s.
“I’m not gonna fuck you either. Go.”
She nods and starts to walk away, her heels looking old and tired along with her dress.
We both watch her leave and I turn to him. “You’re such an ass, man. I’m gonna fuck you up.” I nod at him, and he smiles. Fucking Axel loves this shit. I swear to God, he’s fucked in the head.
“Come on, brother. You know I love it. Give me what you got.”
“This is for all the women who you have been a dick to,” I announce to him.
He rolls his eyes, looks around, then punches me in the face. My head swings back as I’m slow to feel pain. Three, two, one… there it is.
“Goddamn it.” I lunge at him. My fists connect with his nose and I feel it crunch, but I don’t stop. I’m screaming, telling him my heart aches. I’m in pain. And he takes it like the fucking champion he is. Punch after punch, he lets me take it all out on him. Like he’s a fucking punching bag, I beat on him until I’m too tired to lift my hands.
Weaving backward, I hit the brick wall of Marty’s bar. Axel stands before me, his nose bleeding, the area around his eye red and swelling. Other than that he looks fine if his smile is any indication.
I hang my head and gaze at my swollen, bloody hands then back up at his face.
“I don’t think we’re gonna make it, Dolly and me.” My voice is raw. Fuck, I’m raw. My emotions and pain are so powerful I want to do the one thing I don’t do ever: cry.
