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I wish things were different, that I hadn’t brought us here, to this point where she believes I hate her, when it’s really myself I can’t stand.Chapter NineteenFuck this Bullshit
Lavender
Present day
I DON’T MOVE for long minutes after Kodiak leaves, unsure what to make of his reaction and his actions versus his words. I’m so confused.
I flop down on my bed, feeling a lot like an idiot. I wanted to get him back for art class. I guess that’s what I get for taking advice from Lovey and Lacey after they’ve been drinking coolers. I hadn’t accounted for all the drunk jocks pawing at me. I mean, I realized I was going to draw some attention, just not quite as much as I did. But dealing with Kodiak and his asshole behavior is exhausting.
I’m definitely going to regret this tomorrow. More than I already do.____________________
The next morning I’m busy working on a new costume piece. I already handed in my costume at the end of last week and offered to start something new. A loud thud makes me jump and almost prick myself with a needle. I tug my earbuds free, and the sound of loud male voices filters through my door. I push back my chair and stumble a few steps. I’m stiff from having been in the same position for the past several hours. It takes me a few seconds to get the lock to turn, since my eyes are still adjusting from having been staring at tiny stitches.
I rush down the stairs and find the source of the noise. “What’s going on?”
River is on top of Kodiak, aiming punches at his face. “I told you to keep your fucking hands off her!”
“She was drunk and talking to Clarke!” Kodiak has quick reflexes and blocks every shot, which makes my brother even angrier.
How does River know about last night when he wasn’t even here?
I don’t have a lot of time to think too much about that, because at the rate these two are going, there’s going to be missing teeth and bloodstains on the carpet if someone doesn’t do something to stop it. And apparently that someone has to be me.
I latch on to River’s arm, but he’s on the down swing and drags me to the floor beside Kodiak. When I’m elbowed in the neck, I quickly conclude I’ve made a mistake getting in the middle of their fight.
Then suddenly the fighting is over, because I’m flopping around on the floor, holding my throat and gasping for breath. I remind myself of a dying fish, but man, that really hurt.
“Oh my God! Are you okay?” River reaches for me, but I kick at him, because no fucking thanks.
The fighting resumes.
“Look what you did now!” River yells at Kodiak.
“You attacked me! And you’re the one who dragged her to the floor!” Kodiak shouts back.
“Stop!” I wheeze.
They both do that weird man thing where they don’t know what to do to help, so they push each other back and forth, trying to get ahead of the other, I guess.
I roll over and get to my feet, clutching my throat protectively. At least now I know what my defense maneuver will be, should someone ever attack me. “What is wrong with you two?” I rasp.
River shoves his phone in my face.
I snatch it away so I can see whatever the damn problem is. “Where did this come from?”
It’s a picture of me, slung over Kodiak’s shoulder. I’m flailing, and he looks like he’s on the verge of murder.
“Someone took it last night,” River growls and spins toward Kodiak again. “I told you not to put your hands on her!”
“You think it would’ve been better if Clarke had gotten his hands on her? That guy’s is a colossal douche!” Kodiak yells back.
I am so damn tired of this. “Are you serious with this?” I shout. It’s the only way to be heard over their bickering.
Both of them turn around.
“First of all, I’m not an idiot. I know Clarke is a douche, and I would never, ever be stupid enough to end up in a room alone with him. Secondly, do you hear yourselves? I’m not a child. I’m an adult. If I want to drink an idiotic amount of alcohol, wear a thong bikini, and flirt with a dickhead, that’s my goddamn prerogative.” Although saying it out loud, I can see every single flaw in that terrible plan. “I get to make my own damn mistakes, just like the rest of you. The double standard around here is ridiculous! Maverick has a new ‘girlfriend’ every month, and bunnies are constantly hanging off the two of you. But I talk to one freaking guy, and Kodiak becomes a damn caveman, and now the two of you are going to what? Punch each other out over it?” I throw my hands in the air. “You know what? I’m done with this. I cannot and will not be defined by something that happened when I was six years old. I don’t need a set of bodyguards.”
