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Seriously? I might’ve started to get hard just hearing her say the damn word sex. And I really liked her calling me Mr. Duncan. Note to self, we need to play schoolteacher and student at some point.
I shook my head. Who the hell knew sitting in an alley with the rancid smell of dead fish surrounding us wouldn’t keep my horny dick in check?
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and forced myself to focus. “Yes, let’s talk about sex. I love it, and I’d like nothing more than to have it with you. Missionary, doggy style, you beneath me, riding me, reverse cowboy, spooning, against the wall, or snow angel. I’d like to have it all.”
She laughed. “Snow angel? What’s that?”
I wiggled my brows. “Maybe I’ll show you after this conversation.”
Her eyes went wide. “Oh my God!”
I looked behind me to my right and left, assuming she’d probably just seen a rat run by. “What? What’s the matter?”
Hazel covered her mouth. “I’m actually getting turned on next to a dumpster full of dead fish.”
I chuckled. “Oh, yeah. That. I know the feeling.”
Hazel sighed. “But seriously, Matteo. I want you so much it hurts. My desire for you has never been the problem. I’ve been unable to stop thinking dirty thoughts about you since the first night we became the Hookers. And that was even before I knew what an amazing person you are on the inside, too.”
I reached forward and took her hand. “I feel the exact same way. That’s why yesterday, when you asked me if I slept with Carina while I was home before I went to New York, I thought you must not really understand how I feel about you. A gorgeous woman could’ve shown up at my door completely naked and thrown herself at me, saying all she wanted was a one-night stand, and still nothing would’ve happened. You know why?”
“Why?”
I squeezed her hand. “Because she’s not you, babe.”
Hazel smiled, but then she looked down at her hands for a moment. “The night of Brady’s birthday, he kissed me.”
My heart sank into my stomach. Seeing the look on my face, Hazel shook her head.
“Well, we didn’t really kiss. It was more like he tried to kiss me. I pushed him off, but he tried again.”
My jaw clenched so tight, I thought I might crack a molar. “Are you saying he forced himself on you? Because that’s not fucking okay. I don’t give a shit if you’re mine or not, I’ll rip his damn heart out.”
Hazel took my other hand and squeezed both. “It wasn’t like that. At least it didn’t get that far. I told him to stop, and I left.”
I got up and started to pace. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me any of this when we were in New York?”
“Because there was no reason to upset you. I’d handled it, and Brady… Well, it was more my fault than his. I’d gone to his house on his birthday, and we were getting along well. He just read the situation wrong. After four years of being together, you grow a certain level of comfort at reading the signs, and it’s not like you ask permission anymore. Even though we weren’t together, he thought it was okay. And when I said no, I guess he thought I just needed a little convincing. I’ll be honest, over the years there were a few times when I was tired or not in the mood, and he’d just pushed a little, and I’d changed my mind. So I think in his head, that’s what was going on. Only my mind was somewhere else altogether.”
I dragged a hand through my hair and kept walking back and forth. I wasn’t normally a violent person, but the rage I felt inside as I pictured what had gone down between the two of them made me want to put my fist through the side of the steel dumpster.
Hazel stood and walked into my path, halting my pacing. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Hazel, he had no right to touch you, especially not more than once. I don’t give a shit how you justify it, that is not okay.”
In my fury, I’d gotten up and started to lose my shit, but I hadn’t stopped to really look at Hazel. Seeing her face now, my heart broke. Her eyes were rimmed with tears.
I cupped her cheeks in my hands. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
She covered my hands with hers and shook her head, sniffling. “This came out all wrong. I didn’t mean to bring up what happened with Brady to upset you. I told you because I was trying to explain that I couldn’t kiss another man, not even a man I was once supposed to marry, even when it was his birthday, Matteo.”
