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“I figured you could use it when you go back home. You mentioned you couldn’t light fires outside where you live. This way you can make s’mores whenever you want. It might be a pain in the ass to pack though.”
“I’ll find a way to fit it, don’t you worry. This is the best thing you could have got me.” He looked over at me. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
He examined my face. “What are you thinking right now? You look sad.”
I decided to be honest. “I am sad—a little. This school year is already half over. Before you know it, you’ll be packing up and heading home. I’ve gotten used to having you around. And I’m just…gonna miss you.”
He shook his head. “I really can’t stand to think about leaving. This feels like my home now. The time here is going by way too fast.”
I’d looked away, but felt Caleb’s hand on my chin, lifting it to meet his eyes before letting go. My body stirred.
“Who am I going to study with?” he asked. “Who am I going to taunt?”
My breathing quickened. “I’m sure you’ll find someone.”
“It won’t be the same,” he whispered.
“There’s no chance you could stay, right? Even just another year?”
I immediately wanted to slap myself for asking.
He blew out a long breath. “I don’t think so. I haven’t inquired, but the exchange program is only supposed to be for a year. But even if they did let me stay, I’d feel a bit guilty leaving my mother. The situation with my dad is not good. I promised her I’d be back.”
“Yeah. I’m sorry. That was dumb to even ask.”
“No, it wasn’t. It’s crossed my mind many times.” His tone was insistent. “And it’s not that I don’t want to. I’d give anything to stay.”
Taking the necklace he’d given me into my hands, I asked, “Will you put this on me?”
He smiled. “Of course.”
I lifted my hair and turned my back to him. The warmth of his hands as he put on the necklace made my body tingle with an excitement I tried hard not to feel.
I turned to him and rubbed my fingers over the charm.
“It looks nice on you,” he said.
“Thank you again.”
“Thank you again for my s’mores maker. Don’t be surprised if I bring it down to study session.”
“Oh gosh. What have I started?”
We were both laughing when Maura peeked her head into my halfway open door. For some reason, I jumped at the sight of her—as if she’d caught us doing something wrong. It definitely felt like we were hiding from everyone down here.
“Oh, there you are.” She paused. “We…have some presents for both of you to open upstairs.”
Caleb nodded. “Sorry, Maura. We just came down here to exchange our gifts.” He headed toward the stairs and left without saying another word.
Maura’s eyes lingered on mine, a mix of suspicion and amusement in their depths. She might have been the only one in this house that was truly onto my feelings for Caleb.CHAPTER SIXTEEN* * *CALEBThe month that followed Christmas flew by. Things were busier than ever. I’d taken on extra hours waiting tables at the restaurant, and the new semester was kicking my arse.
As a result, I was certain the rest of my time here was going to evaporate before I knew it. There was still so much I wanted to do and see in Boston, I hardly knew what to do with myself. I couldn’t bear to think about it.
But the thought of leaving the Carrolls made me even more anxious. I wasn’t ready for this reprieve from real life to end. It was truly amazing to be looked at with kindness and respect instead of resentment.
But what messed with my head the most were my feelings for Teagan, which had been evolving in a slow burn I couldn’t figure out how to extinguish. Since breaking up with Veronica, I hadn’t dated anyone else. I’d vowed not to make the same mistake again—leading someone on, only to have to break the news that it couldn’t go anywhere because I was leaving.
Between work and school, any free time I had was spent studying with Teagan or occasionally hanging out with Archie, whose company I could enjoy now that he wasn’t living under our roof. He’d started dating Angela, the girl he was living with in Dorchester. He, too, was spending a lot of time wondering what would happen when his time in the States ran out. But Archie had more freedom than I did to potentially relocate. He was finished with school and didn’t have a mother dependent on him for her mental well-being.
I’d given Teagan no inkling that my feelings for her had crossed the line beyond friendship, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about her when I lay down in bed at night or while I was in the shower. It didn’t stop me from wanting her. Basically, anytime I had a moment to breathe, my mind wandered to forbidden thoughts of Teagan, and what it would be like to have her just once.
