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I just wish you were here. That’s all. I told myself this letter was going to be light and fun—bring back the old vibe. Guess I already ruined that one, eh? I miss our pizza nights. I miss food shopping with you. Fuck, I even miss Hortencia. (I refused bacon at breakfast yesterday. Now that’s true love.)
Anyway . . . I miss you.
I heard an ABBA song today and thought of you. It was fucking depressing. “One of Us,” it was called. Listen to the words. You’ll know what I mean.
Also, “Knowing Me, Knowing You,” this letter will hopefully lead to more correspondence. I can only hope that my “Dancing Queen” takes a hint and writes me back. The only question is . . . how the fuck will you get a letter to me? “Mamma Mia,” what a conundrum. Take it as a challenge. How does one receive letters on the road? I don’t care how you do it, just “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” Figure out how to get me your letter. You have my schedule. I challenge you. “I Have a Dream” that you’ll find a way to do it.
Could I BE any more annoying using ABBA songs to communicate with you? (There’s our friend Chandler Bing again.)
God, I’m tired. And wired. And have I mentioned that I miss you?Later, gator,
Griff
Actually . . .LOVE,
GriffinP.S. “I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do” is the answer. The question is, does Griffin love Luca very much?
P.P.S. I dare you to correspond in your next letter incorporating the ABBA songs I didn’t use. Let’s see who does it better. “The Winner Takes It All.” (Another one you can’t use.)
P.P.P.S. A little ABBA trivia for you. What’s the song “Super Trouper” about? I looked it up and it’s eerie how much it mirrors my life right now.Well, he’d done it. He’d managed to make me smile. Leave it to Griffin.
I clutched the letter to my chest before reading it a couple of more times.
Griffin had given me his entire tour schedule with a special number for the tour manager in case I needed to reach him in an emergency. If I planned this wisely, I could have my letter delivered to one of the venues. That’s what I’d do. I’d call the manager and figure out how to get a letter to Griffin like he’d asked. That meant I had to accept his ABBA challenge, too.It felt like old times as I settled into my couch later that night and started to write back to him. Talk about déjà vu.Dear Griffin,
Wow. I learn something new from you every day. I’d never really paid attention to the lyrics of “Super Trouper.” Some believe that song is about how challenging stardom is. The part that really got to me is when they sing about loneliness despite having all those fans. And how stardom doesn’t take away the longing for that one person. Shit. It’s like it mirrored exactly what you said in your letter to me.
I have this fantasy of cuddling next to you at night in your little bunk. In my dreams, there’s no light, but we don’t need it. It’s just you and me and the sound of the road. I think about that a lot. My heart is on that bus with you. Please know that.
Anyway, “Honey Honey,” I’m trying to catch myself before this letter gets too emotional or sad. Because our letters have always been about lifting each other up. (Even when we’re letting each other down.) Lifting each other up should be “The Name of the Game,” but I guess I can’t help it. The emotional side of things is winning out tonight.
“The Day Before You Came” to stay with me, I couldn’t have imagined how much having you here would change the way I see my world without you in it. Now that you’ve come and gone, I see how much brighter things really are when you’re by my side. “When All Is Said and Done,” I am finding it really hard to live without you. But I’m no closer to a conclusion on how this could possibly work between us long-term. I don’t know if it’s too much to ask you to “Take a Chance on Me” when I might fail you. I just don’t have the right answer. All I really want is for you to continue to “Lay All Your Love on Me,” but I’m scared and sending out an “SOS” to the universe to help lead me in the right direction.
God, I totally flubbed up making that fun. It turned out to be a rambling, depressing diatribe about my insecurities mixed in with a bunch of ABBA songs. But do I at least get points for incorporating them like you asked?
Anyway, I miss you, too. So much. Which was the city that you said would have a live feed of the concert I’d be able to watch? I think you mentioned it was toward the end of the tour? I can’t wait to watch you live, Griffin. Even though I should be there in person, please know that I’m so proud of you, how you get up there and perform even when you’re feeling down. That takes a lot. And I know I’m the cause of some of the thoughts that might be bringing you down lately. I want to change that so badly. But I have to change me. And that’s always been hard.
