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“You don’t know whether she would have been forthright if you had. She never wanted people to perceive her as sick. She never talked about it until she had to.” Looking over at a photo of Bree and me, I said, “We all look back and wish we could have done things differently. When we lose people, we think about all the things we should have said or done. Like, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much of her precious time venting about my problems. She never seemed disinterested, even though she had so much of her own stuff going on. I never really thought anything would happen to her, as sick as she was. I’m still waiting for this to sink in.”
“I’ve been struggling a lot with the question of whether she’d want me here,” he said. “I basically abandoned her after she broke up with me. She would never expect me to be here, Elodie, even though I feel like I really need to be here.”
“I’m certain she’d want you here, Hollis.”
His eyes met mine. “I guess we’ll never know.”***Bree was laid out in a pink chiffon dress I’d chosen from her closet. Her attire was one of the things she hadn’t planned, so I did my best to pick out something I thought she’d like. Pink was her favorite color, and the dress had been hanging in her closet with the tags still on; she’d obviously intended to wear it but never had the chance. She looked beautiful, albeit a bit different with all the makeup they’d put on her.
I did the best I could to eulogize Bree without crying. I spoke about how important her friendship was to me, how she always made time for me, how she never stopped being a friend even when she was at her sickest. It was difficult reading while having to watch her father break down. And Hollis had his eyes on the floor the entire time I talked.
As I stepped down after my speech, I noticed Hollis stand up from his pew and begin walking toward the podium. All eyes were on him, because this wasn’t part of the itinerary. To my utter shock, he situated himself in front of the microphone and started speaking.
“I first met Brianna Benson in kindergarten—Anna, to me. These boys were teasing me because I’d pissed my pants during recess. And Anna overheard. She proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs until she scared them away, totally freaked them out. It was the most fantastic thing I’d ever witnessed in my life at the time.” He closed his eyes and smiled. “I was so indebted to her that I stole a ring from my mother’s jewelry box that night and gave it to Anna the next day—not with romantic intentions but as true payback.”
He glanced over at Bree’s dad. “Richard probably remembers that. Anna showed him the ring, and he realized it was real and worth hundreds of dollars. So Anna gave it back. I was grounded for a week when my mother found out. That was the end of my career as a jewel thief but the beginning of my long friendship with Anna. I’d make an ass of myself several more times through the course of our friendship. There’s that old debate about whether boys and girls can really be friends. We proved you could—for a very long time. Then I went and ruined it because I fell in love with her.”
He laughed slightly. “That wasn’t hard to do at all. Our friendship as we knew it ended when that happened. But we had more wonderful years together. She helped me through some of the most difficult days of my life when my mother was sick. That’s why I’ll always regret not being there for her during her own darkest days, which unfortunately I didn’t know about.” He looked down and swallowed to compose himself. “We lost touch over the years. Ironically, our relationship started with a ring and ended with a ring. But how or why it ended is not a story for today. It doesn’t matter why Anna and I disappeared from each other’s lives. What matters is the huge light she shined upon mine for the years we had together. What matters is my hope that she hears this from wherever she is so she understands how very much she meant to me and will always mean to me. And what matters is that all of you understand this: if someone means something to you, you shouldn’t let your ego allow you to erase them from your life. Because someday, you may not have the chance to tell them all the things you wish you could. In honor of Anna, go home tonight and think of anyone you care about that you might not be in touch with. Take it from me, put aside your pride and let them know you’re thinking about them.”
