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I looked her over. Her color had definitely improved, and she didn’t look like she might pass out anymore. “Okay. But take your time getting up from now on. Anyone who knocks at your door can wait for you to get there or go screw themselves.”
Bree smiled sadly. “Maybe I’ll get a welcome mat that says that.”
“Don’t tempt me to have one made for you.”
She chuckled. “So what were you saying? Your boss took your underwear?”
“Oh. Right. Yup.”
This was typical Bree—changing the subject from her health. She hated to dwell on her illness. The first chance she got, the focus was always pushed back to me. At least today my story might cheer her up. “So get this, Hollis—Mr. Grumpy-stick-up-his-ass—stole my underwear.”
“You…slept with your boss already?”
“No!”
“So how did he get your underwear?”
“Hailey had a last-day-of-school party at a friend’s summer home in Connecticut. We hitched a ride to the house after school, but bossman had to come pick us up after work. He dropped me off next door, and Hailey came in to use the bathroom. Hollis had to go, too, so he used the one in my bedroom. You know how I hang my bras and underwear over the shower curtain after I hand wash them? Well, after he left, my black lace thong was missing.”
“Are you sure he took it? That doesn’t sound like Hollis, from what you’ve told me. Maybe you put it away in a drawer or it’s in the laundry or something.”
I shook my head. “I checked. And I’m positive I saw the set there when I flicked on the light and showed him the bathroom last night. Plus, he was acting weird after he came out. In fact, I was teasing him and asked if he’d played with my underwear while he was in there, and he got all flustered. I thought it was because he’d touched them…but this morning I realized it was because he’d stolen my thong. Mr. Uptight walked out with my underwear hidden in his pocket, Bree.”
I clapped my hands and fell back against the couch. Telling the story made me as tickled as I’d felt when I’d realized what had gone down. I would be amused thinking about it for a long time to come.
“What are you going to do? Pretend you don’t know?”
I sat back up. “Is that medication also making you delirious? You know me, Bree. I’m not going to let it pass. I’m going to use it to torture the hell out of the man.”
Bree shook her head. “But he’s your boss.”
I shrugged. “So? He started it. If it’s okay to steal my panties, it’s okay to call him out on it. Plus, he’s totally fun to screw with.”
“Why do you think he took them? Is he lonely?”
“Honestly, I have no damn idea. If he’s lonely, it’s certainly not because he can’t get a date. The man is ridiculously good-looking. Even at the party yesterday, the mothers were all getting hot and bothered when he walked in.”
Bree got quiet. I knew what she was thinking. But it wasn’t like that—not with Hollis, anyway. “Stop worrying. I don’t want to torture him the same way I did the guys I met working for Soren. Hollis is different. I’m pretty sure he’s attracted to me, and that actually pisses him off.”
“Maybe he’s different in a good way,” Bree countered. “Maybe he’s the kind of guy who wears a lot of armor because he’s protecting a fragile heart.”
I scoffed. “Not so sure about that. I think it’s more like he hasn’t had time to get laid in a few weeks and wouldn’t mind boinking the nanny. But he’s smart enough to know that might not end well and then he’d have to find a new one. Hence, rub one out while wearing the nanny’s panties over his face.”
Bree looked skeptical. “Just don’t get yourself fired.”
I smiled. “Who me? Never.”***Baaa!
When Hailey and I walked into the apartment Monday afternoon, Huey greeted us. We looked at each other and smiled.
“Does that drive your uncle nuts?”
Her smile widened. “Pretty much.”
We laughed.
“Go take a shower and get that sticky stuff out of your hair. I’ll get dinner started, but I’ll save the chopping until you’re done so you can help.”
“Okay.”
Hailey and I had gone to MOMA today. And we took a walk through Central Park so I could show her Bethesda Fountain—which we’d seen in two paintings. During our walk, we passed a cotton candy vendor, and Hailey suckered me into buying her some. It was a breezy day, and her long hair blew into the pink fluff half a dozen times, making a clump of her hair sticky.
In the kitchen, I put the water on to boil and then heard the bathroom door close. Since I had a few minutes, I decided to do a little snooping. Hollis had acted like his normal, abrupt self this morning, and since Hailey was up early, I didn’t get a chance to ask him about my underwear. But maybe I would be able to find them—then I’d know for sure.
