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I sighed. I wanted to read into his admission of jealousy, to take it to mean he had feelings for me. But a strong physical attraction doesn’t equate to feelings, and I was done getting my hopes up.
“Fine. Apology accepted. Is there anything else?”
Hollis looked back and forth between my eyes. As we stood there staring at each other, a car slowed and pulled to the curb.
Shit. Benito.
I held my breath while he parked and began to get out of the car. Hollis looked over his shoulder and back to me. My hands trembled, but I wouldn’t let either of these men see me like that.
“Don’t go,” Hollis whispered.
Benito shut the car door and started up my walkway.
I felt tears well up in my eyes. “Give me a reason not to, Hollis. Not with your mouth or your body, but something from the heart—words, feelings, anything.”
The pain in his face was palpable. But I’d let him do this to me more than once. I needed more than jealousy and physical attraction. I’d take something minimal even, just to assure me I wasn’t going to take this risk alone.
Benito’s footsteps grew louder.
“Hollis? Do you have anything more to say?”
He continued to watch me as my date walked up and stood next to him. I had no choice but to acknowledge the man.
I put on my best fake smile. “You must be Benito.”
“I am.” Benito looked over at Hollis with his eyes trained on me.
The entire thing was awkward.
“Ummm… This is my boss, Hollis.”
Benito stuck out his hand. “Oh. Good to meet you.”
Hollis turned, leveled him with an icy glare, and dropped his eyes to Benito’s hand. He made no attempt to reciprocate the greeting.
Instead, he looked back to me. “Can we have a moment, please?”
I couldn’t let him do this. I just couldn’t. He’d had his chance, and again he’d left me dangling.
“We can talk about it Monday morning when I get to work.” I turned my attention back to my date. “Hollis was just leaving. Would you mind coming in for a minute, Benito? I just need to get my purse.”
“Umm…yeah. Sure.”
It didn’t get much more uncomfortable than this. I nodded at Hollis. “Have a good weekend.”
Opening the door, I walked in, and Benito followed. Once he was inside, I held the door open and waited a few more seconds. Hollis stared at the ground.
I frowned. “Goodbye, Hollis.”
Saying those words and shutting that door were oddly some of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. But I needed to do it. My relationship with Hollis wasn’t healthy, and I deserved more than he would ever give me.
Benito looked at me. “Everything okay with your boss?”
I took a deep breath in and out. “Yeah. We just have differing opinions on how some things need to be handled. He’ll get over it.” Though I wasn’t so sure I would. “I’m sorry about how he acted. He can be a real asshole sometimes.”
Benito laughed. “No problem. I’ve had those bosses before. The trick is to nod a lot, then stand firm and do what you think is right.”
I forced a smile. “Yeah. Would you excuse me for a minute? I need to use the ladies’ room before we go. There’s wine and water in the fridge, if you don’t mind helping yourself.”
“Thank you. Take your time. I was early.”
I went to the bathroom and immediately stepped into the bathtub so I could peek out the window. The blinds were shut, so I adjusted them enough to see outside. It broke my heart to see Hollis getting into his car. He buckled himself in and started it, then stared up at the house for a long time. Then, he pulled away.
The entirety of what had happened began to bubble up, and I felt tears stinging my eyes. Every emotion raced through me—anger, sadness, disappointment, grief, relief. It became too much to keep bottled in, and my shoulders began to shudder as tears streamed down my face.
God damn you, Hollis.
God damn you.
In truth, I was angrier that he’d left than I was that he’d shown up at all. The man had a way of getting my hopes up despite all the pessimism I felt. And each time I fell for it, he crushed me, leaving me feeling like a fool once again.
I closed my eyes and took a few deep, cleansing breaths in and out. Once I steadied myself, I looked in the mirror. My face was red from crying, so I blotted on some skin-toned cream contour that hid anything. It was too bad they didn’t make this stuff for your insides. After I was done, I relined my lips in a bold red that matched my dress and spritzed on some perfume.
I had no desire to go on this date anymore. But I’d be damned if I was about to let Hollis ruin another night for me.
