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She sighed. “Your mother will never accept me. That much I know. If you’re talking about something serious with me, how could that work in the long term? She hates me, Gavin.”
My heart beat out of my chest, desperate to compete with the doubt in her head.
I took her hand and placed it over my heart. “Feel that. That’s what happens whenever I think about what you mean to me. When you said that about my mother and used the word hate, my heart went crazy, because that goes against everything it knows.”
Her question, though, was a fair one. I had to wonder if I was being selfish in wanting to prolong this. I had to look deep inside myself to find the truth. But it was there, and it was clear to me.
“Raven, we don’t know how we’re gonna feel in a year. What I do know is how I feel right now. I’m crazy about you...in a way I’ve never been about anyone before. But time will tell. If in a year nothing has changed with us and I still feel this strongly, I’ll know I need to do whatever it takes to make this work. If that means my mother disowning me, so be it. It would really suck to be put in that position, but it would be her doing, not mine.”
Raven looked like she couldn’t believe what I’d just said. “I would hate to be the cause of your mother disowning you.”
“It wouldn’t be your fault, because defying her would be my choice.”
She seemed more upset now than she had before. I almost regretted bringing up this subject.
“I’m sorry if I took this conversation a little too far,” I said. “But I need you to know where I stand.”
“No…I’m glad you did. You actually addressed what was weighing on me. I’ve been afraid to broach the subject. I guess it’s just hard to accept reality.”
I needed to lighten the mood.
I pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “I’m taking time away for more pressing matters.”
“Like what?”
“You wrestling me to the ground tonight.”
Her eyes widened. “What?”
“I’ve been dying to be pinned down by you. I want you to submit me while I try to resist.”
“Are you serious?”
“Dead serious. It’s my fantasy to have you use your jiu-jitsu moves on me. Will you humor me later?”
“That’s seriously your fantasy?”
“Well, I have a lot more fantasy scenarios when it comes to you, but that one is at the top of the list.
“What’s another one?” she asked.
“I don’t think I should admit anything else to you right now. You might ask me to take you home.” I grinned. “Why don’t you tell me one of your fantasies?”
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I actually have a pretty clear fantasy when it comes to you—one that’s recurring.”
My dick twitched. “Tell me.”
“It’s very basic. I sneak into your bedroom while everyone is here. Your mother is right down the hall. And you hide me in there while we do stuff.”
She’s so freaking cute. My brow lifted. “Stuff…”
“Yeah.” She laughed. “Stuff.”
“I think what you mean to say is, we’re fucking in my room while everyone is home.”
She blushed. “Yes.”
I kissed her neck as I pressed my body against her. I knew she could feel how damn hard I was. “I’m kind of dying to play out your fantasy right now. I’m definitely looking forward to playing after dinner. Did I tell you I’m cooking for us?”
“Ramen?”
“No, wiseass, although you know you loved my ramen.”
“I did.”
“I’m actually making you this chicken dish. I got the recipe off Food Network.”
She pulled me closer. “That’s so cute.”
Cute wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but whatever.***Later, Raven and I ended up cooking the chicken cacciatore together.
As we finished our meal, she wiped her mouth and said, “It feels so good not to be focused on the cancer for a while. Thank you for helping get my mind off of things.”
“The pleasure is all mine. It has been from the moment I met you.”
Our eyes locked, but our moment was interrupted when a gust of wind blew the side door in the kitchen open. The shock nearly knocked Raven out of her seat. She held her hand over her chest. When I turned back from closing the door, her skin had turned white as a ghost.
My own heart was pounding pretty fast.
“It’s okay. It was just the wind.” I came around to her side of the table. “Jesus, you’re trembling.”
“That scared me.” Catching her breath, she said, “I thought someone came home.”
It hurt to see her so shaken. She was absolutely terrified at the prospect of getting caught here. This made me doubt whether I really understood what I was doing. What if it had been someone? What, then?
“It’s okay. It’s just us,” I soothed.
She eventually calmed down, and we worked together to clean up the mess we’d made.
