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Dread filled me.
No. No. No.
It couldn’t be.
Please tell me that didn’t happen. Because that would be the only thing worse than what I’d believed all these years.
“Weldon!” I screamed, my voice echoing in the night.
“Mother made her go away,” he blurted.
My entire body went into shock and I let go. He dropped to the ground and struggled to catch his breath.
“So help me God, if you’re lying about this…”
“I swear on our mother’s grave. It’s the truth.”
And now I knew he wasn’t lying.
Hardly able to speak, I said, “What…what did she…”
“She found out Dad was paying Renata’s medical bills. She went ballistic, went to Raven’s house, and threatened her. She promised the payments would stop and said she’d cut you off from this family forever if Raven didn’t break up with you and make it look like it was her choice.”
My head was spinning. “You knew about this?”
“Not at the time. I found out years later. Mother confessed to me one night. I didn’t think there was any point in telling you by that time. It only would have hurt you and turned you against her.”
The worst feeling of nausea hit me all of a sudden. Clutching my stomach, I ran for the bushes and hurled. I kept vomiting until there was nothing left, as if I were expelling the lies my life had been ruled by over the past decade.
I collapsed to the ground and sat on the pavement as a tornado of emotions tore through me—anger and betrayal, but mostly pure sadness…loss. Ten years of living a lie. Apparently, I was the only one who didn’t know. I thought about Raven and the fact that she’d let me go despite what I now realized—that she might have loved me back.
What she did…it was all for Renata. It was selfless. And honestly, I couldn’t even be mad at anyone but my mother. How could I ever forgive her for this? Does forgiveness even matter if the person is gone?
Everything made sense now. Every damn thing, especially the pain in Raven’s eyes whenever she was around me now—around Paige.
Paige.
The woman I’m marrying.
My chest felt so constricted I could hardly breathe. Holy shit. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend this.
Too impaired to drive, I couldn’t go to Raven tonight. I considered taking off on foot but decided against it. I needed a night to process this, to think about what this meant and how it affected my life.
Paige.
Paige loved me. I loved her, but was it enough to make me forget what I now knew?***When the sun came up, I hadn’t slept for shit, still having no clue how I was going to admit to Raven that I knew. I decided I should just go talk to her.
Maybe something would click inside my head while I was there, something that would tell me what the hell I was supposed to do. Maybe she’d assure me the feelings she’d had for me weren’t there anymore, and that would make this decision easier. The pain in her eyes very well could’ve been guilt.
After taking a long, hot shower to try to ease the ache, I got dressed and headed downstairs.
The first thing Genevieve said to me was, “Raven called in sick today. The agency is sending a replacement for the day nurse shift.”
Of course.
I played dumb. “Did she say why?”
“It was the agency that called. I don’t know what’s going on, but she’s never called in sick before. Hope she’s okay.”
She’s not.
She wasn’t sick. She was avoiding me, and I couldn’t blame her.
“Genevieve, I have to leave for a couple of hours. Please make sure whoever is coming to fill in for Raven has everything they need. Call me if there’s any problem.”
“Will do, Gavin.”***When I got to Raven’s, I stayed in the car for a few minutes to grab my bearings. It was still early. She might have been sleeping. I almost wondered if I should peek inside first, get a feel for whether she was awake. I didn’t want to wake her up. Seeing me after last night was going to be enough of a rude awakening as it was.
A nostalgic feeling came over me as I walked over to the side of the house and peeked in her bedroom window, just like I used to. Her bed was empty.
Then, I looked over toward the corner of her yard and spotted her. Raven had her legs crossed in a yoga pose as she breathed in and out. Her eyes were closed. She seemed to be deep into a meditation. I thought back to how she’d studied it when we were trying to help her mother.
Raven’s long, black hair was tied into a side braid. Bohemian beauty. She wore nothing but a bikini top and shorts. This was the most scantily clad I’d seen her since I returned home. She was clearly in a zone, tuning everything out. It was quiet aside from the sound of birds chirping.
