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“Take a look around,” she said, walking back over to her desk to give me some space.
I kept looking at all of the cherub-like baby faces around me. A fleeting thought that my baby could look just like Elliott, with his blond locks and maniacal grin flashed through my mind. I was sure I’d still love my child just the same, but it was strange to imagine him or her resembling Elliott. I couldn’t even think about how hard that would be for Rush.
The woman interrupted me. “Want to take a look at the price chart…in case you’re interested?”
I hardly thought I would be able to afford this once the baby came, but you couldn’t put a price on good photography. It was essentially buying memories. Maybe I could book the shoot now and figure it out later.
“You know what?” I nodded my head once. “Sure. Is there any fee for cancellation, though?”
“No. We just like as much notice as possible.”
After browsing the different packages, I chose one in the middle of the price range.
After I gave her my name to book it, she said, “Gia Mirabelli…that’s strange.”
“Why?”
“Someone by that exact name is already scheduled.” She scratched her chin. “Wait…I remember this. He booked a pregnancy shoot and then an infant shoot for later. Seemed so in love with the woman.”
“He?”
“Yes. I could never forget this man. Very striking. Dangerous looking with a heart of gold. Rush was his name.” She lifted her brow. “Know him by any chance?”
My pulse sped up. “Rush? He was here?”
“He’s yours?”
There was something about that question that ripped my heart apart.
He’s yours?
Because I couldn’t say yes anymore. And I wasn’t sure if he’d ever be mine again. Suddenly all of the hopes and dreams I once had, the ones I’d buried as of late, came flooding back to my mind.
Rush would have been the best father.
And he wasn’t mine.
Tears were forming beneath my lids.
“Is everything okay?”
“We’re not exactly together anymore.”
“Oh...I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s okay.” I wiped my eyes. “When did he make that appointment?”
When she told me the date, I nearly fainted. It was the same day he was in the City with Elliott. The day Elliott told him he’d slept with me. The day Rush figured out the truth. The day before that woman answered his phone. I cringed at the thought of what happened that night.
“Do you want to keep the appointments that Rush made?”
I seemed to have fallen into a daze now. “Sure. Yeah. Thank you.”
On the way out, I couldn’t help picking up my phone and dialing him as I walked down the sidewalk in a haze.
Unfortunately, it went straight to voicemail, so I left a message.
“Hey. It’s me. You’re never gonna believe this. By chance, I just walked into the same photography studio where you made me that appointment. I guess you never had an opportunity to tell me about it, or you may have forgotten with everything that’s happened.” Overcome with emotion, my voice was shaky. “Anyway…I went to make an appointment, only to find that I was already in the system. That was really sweet of you to want to do that. It’s just another reminder of why I…” I hesitated and breathed, “Of why I love you. I’ll always love you, Rush. I hope you know that. No matter what happens…that’s the one thing that won’t change.”Hearing Gia’s quivering voice in that message really got to me. I stopped myself from calling her back, though, because I knew damn well what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, too. But that would’ve been leading her on. I couldn’t do that to her, even though I really did love her so damn much.
Things at The Heights were crazy. There were too many arrangements that had to be made for the end of the season and not enough hours in the day. In a sense, though, throwing myself into work had been a good thing. I needed a distraction from the memory of Gia’s empty room, of her plans to leave town.
“Hey.” Oak snuck up on me in my office.
“You scared the shit out of me.”
“Yeah, well, you’re easy to rattle these days, boss.”
“What do you need?”
“Don’t you think it’s time you told me what the hell is going on with you and Gia? How could things be so great between you two and then turn to shit overnight? Something happened, and it’s not making sense. She’s having your baby, for Christ’s sake. What could be so bad that you’re letting her leave to go back to the City?”
My blood pressure was rising. I really did want to be able to tell him the truth. But it was just so goddamn painful to talk about. But so far, only my mother knew. If I was going to make a decision, I really did need to talk about it with someone I trusted. If I was being honest, Oak was one of the few people I could really trust. There was no reason not to open up to him, other than it was hard for me to rehash everything.
