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“I’d go home covered in dirt. My mom would ask me if I’d rolled around in the dirt on purpose.”
Cade’s grin brings out small wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. “My mom used to bitch about the dirt in my baseball uniforms, but once she figured out how smelly hockey gear was, she wished I’d go back to baseball.”
“I swear I don’t even smell it anymore.”
“You have to smell it on the gloves.”
I shake my head. “Not really. Our equipment people spray them down all the time.”
“Huh. Well, you smell it at the rec center, don’t you?”
“Oh yeah. But I don’t mind it. That sweaty glove and popcorn smell brings me right back to high school.”
“A lot of good times,” Cade says softly.
“Yeah, definitely.”
“Hey, I’m sorry about you and Allie running into each other like that the other night at the parent meeting.”
I wave a hand. “Nah, don’t worry about it.”
“I completely forgot she volunteered.”
“We were bound to see each other at some point.”
“How long has it been since you saw her?”
I take a long drink of my beer. “Last time I saw her was when she dumped me and I left town.”
“Wow, you mean…? I knew you hadn’t been back home in a long time, but you hadn’t seen her since then?”
“No.”
“Damn.”
It’s silent and I take a couple more sips of my beer. I ask the question I’ve been dying to ask for a long time now.
“How is she?”
Cade arches his brows, looking surprised that I asked. “Allie? She’s…good, I think. She’s pretty busy, having three teenagers and all.”
“Jenna never came back to help?”
“Hell no. Allie does it all herself.”
I shake my head, disgusted. “Such bullshit.”
“Yeah. Those kids are damn lucky to have her, though. She’s done a great job; they’re good kids.”
“I’m not surprised.” I try to play it casual, getting up to flip the burger patties as I ask, “Is she seeing anyone?”
Cade laughs. “You’re not over her, are you?”
“Just answer the question.”
“I don’t think so. The only guys I’ve ever heard of her dating are Hunter Jackson, that was maybe four years ago, and Larry Wright, but she broke that off a few months ago.”
“Larry Wright?” My lips part with shock.
“Yeah. He’s mellowed a lot since high school. He’s an insurance agent now.”
“No way Allie would go out with Larry Wright. He’s…no. You’re shitting me, right?”
Cade shrugs. “She only dated him for a couple months. I heard he was planning to propose to her.”
“Yeah, I bet. Because she’s beautiful and amazing and he’s…Larry.”
“Dude, she was probably lonely, you ever think of that?”
“Allie? She could have any man she wanted.”
He shakes his head. “You might think that, but a lot of guys I know won’t date a woman with three kids.”
“That’s bullshit. You’d already know she’s a great mom.” I sit back down, stunned by the news that Allie is single. “What about you? You’d date a woman with kids, wouldn’t you?”
“I would if I was single, sure. Not Allie, though, because of you.” Cade finishes his beer and gets another one. “You ever date a woman with kids?”
“I don’t really do that kind of dating,” I admit.
“Yeah, I probably wouldn’t either, if I were you. You probably get ass right and left.”
“When I was younger.”
Cade laughs heartily at that. “You’re turning thirty soon. That’s far from old. Live it up while you can, man.”
“It gets old. I’ve tried to do relationships a couple times, but…I don’t know.”
“What?”
I sigh heavily. “No one intrigues me for very long. After a few weeks, when women want to stay over and have me meet their friends and all that…I just don’t want to.”
“Because of the intimacy?”
I balk. “No, the intimacy is always fine—”
Cade cuts me off. “I don’t mean sex. Staying over and meeting friends is just a different kind of intimacy, you know?”
“Yeah, I guess it is. And I never had that with anyone but Allie.”
“Do you miss it?”
I look out at the sunset, which is painting the sky shades of orange, purple and pink. “I miss it with Allie.”
Cade doesn’t respond, and I’m glad, because it was a tough thing for me to admit. Even after all these years, I don’t want to move on and find someone new. It’s not even possible. Allie has always held a place in my heart and I can’t just “find” someone new to replace her with.
She was my first and my only, in so many ways.
“You boys planning to feed us tonight?” my mom asks, opening the sliding door.
“The burgers are cooking,” I say. “They’ll be done soon.”
“You guys need help with anything?” Cade asks her.
“I want you to move my china cabinet!” Aunt Jo calls from inside the house.
I look at my mom questioningly. “Does she really?”
“She was hoping while Cade is here, you guys could move it to the other side of the dining room for her.”
