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He pulled me close, leading me around the floor. I laid my head on his chest but it was bittersweet, because I knew something wasn’t right. He’d been closed off since my father’s rude comment and had barely said a word all night.
I was near tears by the end of the night. The restless feeling and sense of unease I’d had all evening had grown into a sense of foreboding.
Mercifully, the evening came to an end and we said goodnight to my parents then walked outside, hand in hand, to wait for the valet to bring our rental car around.
“Everything’s not okay, is it?” I asked, my nerves on edge.
A deep exhale was his answer.
“I wanted you here,” I said. “I want you in my life in every possible way. Please don’t let my parents’ lavish party and critical comments put you off. My dad can be such a jerk sometimes and I’m so sorry tonight was one of those times.”
He turned to face me, taking both my hands in his. “Your dad wants what’s best for you.”
“Don’t,” I said, tears clouding my vision. “He does not get to decide what’s best for me and please don’t say you’re not the best for me. You’re good and loyal and strong, Killian. I don’t care what league you play in. I don’t care if you collect trash for a living. You make me happy in every way that matters.”
I blinked and the tears escaped my eyes. Killian gave me a pained look and wiped them away with his thumb.
“I’m not as good for you as I could be, Sidney. But I plan to change that. I need to prove a few things to you, to your family and, most importantly, to myself. I need to go back home and be alone for the rest of the weekend.”
“You’re leaving?” I was incredulous. New tears welled in my eyes.
“I’m not leaving you. I’m not leaving what we have. Don’t doubt that for a second, please. I’m trying to do what I need to do to be deserving of you.”
I shook my head with frustration. “You’re completely deserving. My dad was a jerk to you.”
He put a finger to my lips, silencing me. “I want to be deserving of you in my own eyes, Sid. Do you trust that I’ll be faithful to you?”
“Yes.”
“Then kiss me and let me go. You take the rental and I’ll catch a cab to the airport. Can you bring my things back with you when you head out tomorrow?”
I nodded, absolutely certain that the sadness I felt right now was about to swallow me whole. Killian raised my hands to his lips and kissed them. Somehow, I forced myself to lean up and kiss him back.
He walked me to the rental car, holding my hand and getting me settled until I was looking up at him from the driver’s seat.
“I’ll talk to you soon,” he said, releasing my fingers. “I’ll text you.”
I watched his back as he walked away, already missing the warmth of his presence. Much as I wanted to believe everything would be okay, the unsettled feeling wouldn’t go away. Only time would tell if we’d make it and, right now, I was worried sick. I knew Killian needed time, but patience wasn’t my strong suit.Sidney
My weekend had been surprisingly relaxing. I’d had lunch with my mom the day after the party and she had tried to reassure me that Dad only wanted what was best for me, and that sometimes his brain didn’t always catch up with his mouth. I was grateful for her sensitivity and she helped me feel a bit better about how things had gone the previous evening.
Instead of catching an early flight back to Fenway, I stayed in the hotel and spent some time working and reading before catching the red eye home.
Now it was Monday.
But the trepidation had returned this morning when I watched the Flyers practice from a seat high in the stands, hoping no one would spot me. Killian’s smile had made my heart pound, even though it wasn’t directed at me. The sight of his powerful body moving up and down the ice made me miss his warmth next to me in bed.
Why had he texted me and asked me to come to his place after practice instead of just coming up to my office?
Killian’s apartment was at the end of a simple red brick building. This was the first time I’d seen player housing. It wasn’t bad, but it needed some landscaping. My real estate developer wheels were always turning. I made a mental note to have it taken care of in the spring. My frazzled nerves welcomed any thoughts that weren’t about Killian right now. I was walking up the sidewalk to ring his doorbell, though I still didn’t know why.
