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“I’m not going to be staying all the time. It’s temporary.”
“I know, but come on, this is … more than I could have hoped.”
They sat down on her bed and she kicked her shoes off.
“Tell me how you’re dealing,” she said, reaching out and pushing some of his hair off his face. “Don’t hide from me.”
“I’m… It all kinds of feels like a blur right now. Like all of this is happening to someone else and I’m just along for the ride. I keep expecting someone to jump out and say it’s a joke.”
“It’s not though,” she said, softly.
“No, it’s not.”
She took his hand, kissing his knuckles.
“I, Tabby, cancer, it’s not good.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know how I’m going to deal. I know Darcy got through it, but she’s not my mom.”
Tears filled her eyes as she watched Simon slowly fall apart. This was why she had to come to him. She’d heard it in his voice. The confusion. The fear. His life was running too far too fast and he couldn’t keep up. He was drowning in it.
“I’m here.”
“I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to her. I don’t want anything to happen to her. She’s my mom.” The tears fell down his cheeks.
She cried right along with him.
“Tabby, I don’t know what to do. I feel, I feel angry.”
She pulled him close and his face pressed against her chest. He cried harder and she held him, refusing to let him go. This was all she could do. This was how he needed her. Not back in Fort Wills, but so he could hold her, to have someone stable to make the world seem okay again.
The world was never going to be okay.
She knew that.
Lexie’s life hung in the balance and with it, Simon’s stability, even Devil’s. The man downstairs hadn’t scared her, but experience told her he was holding on by a thread. If this was an outside, physical force threatening them, they could all fight it together. There was nothing they could do. Only Lexie, and what her body was capable of.
Simon lifted up and pressed his thumb and finger to both of his eyes, which were closed tight. “I’m fine.” His voice broke.
“You’re not fine.”
“I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”
“I know. I did that with Darcy,” she said. “It’s not good to see people you love dying. It breaks you apart, piece by piece. You have to be strong for them. We’ve got to be strong for Lexie. It’ll help her.”
“I don’t even know if this is an early diagnosis or not. Man, everything is so fucked up. I wish they’d just kept on having kids. This would have been so much easier.”
They were shouted down for dinner and Tabby slid off the bed, taking Simon into the bathroom, and she helped him splash water on his face.
“It’s going to be okay,” she said.
“I know. I know you’re just saying that.”
“It may sound like it right now, but day by day, I’m going to be here.”
He lifted his head. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”
“No.”
He took her hand and together, they walked downstairs. Devil was already in the dining room, dealing with the kids. Simon immediately went to help and she didn’t take a seat but walked into the kitchen to see Lexie stirring up a large bowl.
“It’s just garlic tomato pasta. I know it’s Devil’s favorite,” Lexie said.
“I love it as well.”
“Your mom told me that you’ve given up meat.”
Tabitha laughed. “You should have heard my dad. He thought I was being a rebel and a giant pain in the ass.”
“I bet. I remember you always running around, wanting sausages and burgers,” Lexie said. “Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. How are you handling it?”
“I’m doing fine.”
“Dick and Martha went vegan as well,” Lexie said. “I know the club thought they were crazy.”
“I’m not vegan, just, you know, vegetarian. Daisy’s going vegan, I think. She keeps on searching this stuff online, kind of scary. Do you want me to stir that?” she asked. Lexie was looking tired by the second.
“Yes, please, I would appreciate it. I still want to do everything. Nothing has changed, at least not yet.”
Tabitha smiled and took over, stirring up the large bowl of pasta. Her stomach growled.
“Oh, I also made garlic bread,” Lexie said. She went to bend down, but Tabitha quickly grabbed her and placed her on a chair. “Sorry, a little dizzy there.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m here. I can help.” She smiled at Lexie.
“You haven’t asked,” Lexie said after a couple of seconds had passed. The pasta was all combined with the intense sauce, and she was chopping the garlic bread into strips.
Tabitha paused and turned to the older woman. “I figure you’ve spent a lot of time talking about it. People, everyone you know is treating you differently, fragile. It only drills in that something is wrong. I know it can feel overwhelming.”
