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“That’s not what I’m worried about,” she snaps.
At least she hasn’t lost her fire. I hate how much I want to be burned by it again.
“Ready!” Chance announces, throwing his arms wide.
He’d pulled on a pair of jeans and traded Thor for an inside-out green shirt. “I guess that’s an improvement, buddy.”
Lilly squats down and straightens him out, running her hands over his hair and kissing his cheek. She whispers something in his ear, and he nods.
She stands and plucks her keys off a pegboard. “You can take my car. He needs a—”
“I have one.”
“Car seat.” Her eyes widen. “You do?”
“Murphy installed it for me while I was packing.”
She blinks a few times, maybe taking a second to remember who Murphy is or just absorbing the fact that one of my brothers would think to do something like install a car seat for the son I’ve only known about for five seconds.
I hold her gaze while she works it out in her head.
Lilly
Should I be scared to send Chance off alone with Z?
Maybe another mother would be. I’m not. I know he’d never do anything to hurt him. I’m actually more worried about Z being overwhelmed with Chance’s endless questions.
Chance fusses while I slip a hoodie over his head, then looks to Z to pick him up. He’s not usually so trusting of strangers. It’s almost as if on some level, he already knows and trusts his dad.
I follow them outside. “New truck?”
“Last year.” Z shrugs.
“Still black.”
He tosses a faint smile my way. “Of course.”
Not that I thought he was lying, but there really is a car seat carefully strapped into the backseat of his four-door truck.
“You can check it if you want.” A hint of a smirk plays over Z’s lips. His dark blue eyes drill into me, making it impossible to look away or form an answer.
“I’m sure it’s fine.” Although, on second thought, maybe Z said it because he really has no idea how to strap Chance in properly.
Which is my own damn fault.
Chance helps Z figure out the buckles and squeals at the fluffy green dinosaur sitting on the seat next to him.
Z shrugs. “Murphy must have tossed that in too.”
That’s the Z I remember. Completely honest. Not trying to show off or claim credit for something he didn’t do.
He cocks an eyebrow. “Guess I should stop teasing Heidi about all those gender-neutral toys she insisted on for Alexa.”
I burst out laughing. “I always liked Heidi. Something about her bossing around a bunch of bikers over girly toys is especially funny.”
He grins even wider. “There’s a reason we called her Hellraiser when she was little.”
A pang of regret thumps me in the chest. I gave up a lot of things when I took off.
Z’s standing in his open truck door, watching me. “Anything else?”
“No.”
He glances at the passenger side. “I’m just running down to Cumby’s. You want to come with?”
“No.” I hesitate and bite my lip. He’s going to think this is stupid. “Do you mind running to Jack’s Market instead? I prefer to give him organic milk.”
He doesn’t laugh or roll his eyes like I expected. “I can do that.” He shakes his head. “Should’ve thought of that. Trinity didn’t allow anything in the clubhouse that wasn’t organic-something while Hope was pregnant. Hope’s even more strict.”
I blink as I absorb that information. “Do you know where Jack’s is?”
“I’ll find it.” He peers in the backseat. “Ready, little man?”
“Ready!” Chance punches his fists in the air.
“Be right back.” Z leans in, almost like he’s going to kiss me, then retreats. The happy expression on his face vanishes, replaced by something cold, hard, and unreadable. “Text me if you think of anything else.”
I wave to Chance, even though I can’t actually see him through Z’s tinted windows. When the truck disappears down my driveway, I turn and head back inside.
Dinner. Right. Might as well start that while I wait for them to return.
Instead, my phone rings and I search my purse until I find it vibrating at the bottom.
“Hey, Ted!”
“Hey. Haven’t heard from you since you went home. Everything okay?”
“It’s been complicated.”
“That’s not good. Think you’ll be back by the end of the month?”
Unsure of what to say, I sigh and shake my head, which is stupid because he can’t see me. “Depends on how my dad’s doing.”
“You give any more thought to what we talked about before you left?”
I haven’t thought about anything since the second I saw Z. “I haven’t really had a chance.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll call in a few days.”
“Sure. Sure.”
My phone beeps and, since it’s my brother, I hang up with Ted and answer Alex’s call.
“Are you all right?”
I squeeze my eyes shut and rub my temple. “I’m shocked you waited this long to check on me.”
“Why? Did he do something?”
“Absolutely not. Calm down.”
“He show up?”
“Yes. Right after you left.”
That quiets my brother for a second.
“How’s Chance?”
“Fine. He’s out with Z.”
“You let him take Chance? What if he doesn’t bring him back?”
“He’s not going to kidnap him. What’s the matter with you?”
“Gee, sis. I don’t know. A guy who suddenly finds out he has a kid might do something dramatic.”
“Thanks a lot. They just ran to the store. Chance asked to go. I didn’t see why not. I’m glad he’s comfortable with Z already.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s a good thing.” I can’t miss the reluctance in Alex’s voice. Maybe he’s gotten used to being Chance’s male role model and doesn’t want that to change. He sure as hell has never cared for Z being part of a motorcycle club.
Seven
Z
Chance is a talkative kid. Can’t understand half of what he says, but I love his voice.
My GPS guides me to the store Lilly mentioned. It’s about a mile from her house. Small place full of uptight locals. The type of place I’d usually avoid.
After I park and wrangle him out of the car seat, he asks me to carry him. How can I say no? I grab the milk and briefly consider picking up a bouquet of wildf
lowers that we pass in the floral shop. But fuck that shit, I’m not trying to fucking date Lilly. I’m trying to get to know my kid.
“Oh my gawd. Your son looks just like you.” The cashier beams at me and bats her lashes. “Aren’t you a cutie?” She reaches over and squeezes Chance’s sneaker.
Fuck me, having a stranger acknowledge our relationship is one hell of a kick in the gut. Chance rests his chin on my shoulder, ignoring the woman’s comments and touch.
“Dad’s day out?” she asks. Her fingers twist in her hair and she thrusts her tits up in case I didn’t notice them almost popping out of her grocery-store uniform.
Jesus. I’m used to a slow smirk and a seductive word or two out of my mouth dropping the panties of any woman I’m interested in. Any other day, I’d indulge in some back and forth banter. Maybe grab her phone number. Not today. Somehow having a girl flirt with me while I’m with my son is creeping me the fuck out.
I steal a look at Chance. Did it register for him that she called him my son?
Don’t think so. He’s busy staring at a little girl in the shopping cart behind us.
That’s my boy.
I pay for the milk without answering her question.
“Can I set you down so I can open the door?” I ask when we approach the truck.
“Okay.”
A car pulling into the spot next to us gets a little too close for my comfort. I slap my hand on the hood, startling the girl behind the wheel. “Watch where you’re going,” I growl.
Chance is like carrying around a fragile piece of glass I’m terrified of breaking or losing.
My angry tone makes him frown and I hate that. I don’t want to scare him for fuck’s sake.
“Sorry,” the girl says, scurrying into the store.
“Time to get out of here, little man.”
“Hungry!”
“Yup. Your mom’s working on dinner.”
I hold up the gallon of milk. “Or she will be.”
“Mommy!”
Oh, man the way he says that just squeezes the hell out of my heart. I’m beyond furious with Lilly for keeping my son away from me. But it’s obvious he’s loved and taken care of. She’s a good mother and they have a tight bond.
