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A firm knock sounded before the door to her outer room opened. Monet moved from the dressing table to the middle of her bedroom and Marcu was there, closing the door and holding a finger to his lips.
“Let’s not have the children in here as well,” he said tersely, his gaze sweeping her cozy sitting room with the beamed ceiling and stone fireplace.
“I don’t recall inviting you in,” she said.
“I wouldn’t have had to chase you down in here, if you had stayed downstairs so we could have had a conversation—”
“There’s nothing to discuss.” Her teeth chattered slightly and she felt cold and hot all over again. She longed for a thick sweater, or blanket, to wrap herself in. She wanted to hide. She wanted to savor the kiss because she knew it would never happen again. It couldn’t happen again. “We both know it was inappropriate.”
“Yes. You’re right. The kiss was inappropriate, which is why we must talk, because I can’t propose to Vittoria, not if I’m kissing you.”
His words sent a shudder through her. She needed him to propose to Vittoria so she could escape Marcu and the castello. “I can forgive the kiss if it doesn’t happen again,” she said quietly.
“It was a mistake.”
“It absolutely was.”
His blue gaze skewered her, burning all the way through her. “And I won’t kiss you, or touch you again—”
“Good.”
“—while I’m pursuing another relationship.”
“Exactly.”
“But should I choose to pursue a relationship with you, it’s a different story.”
Monet froze, and blinked, dumbfounded. What had he just said? “You’re about to propose to Vittoria,” she said unsteadily. “Let’s not confuse things, shall we?”
“I’m looking for a mother for my children. That is my goal.”
“I understand that, and I also understand that when you’re in Rome Wednesday night, you’ll be with Vittoria, and then again with her on Friday, and I want you to go knowing that things will be calm and happy here. I can assure you the children will be safe with me.”
“I have no doubt. My children seem happy with you.”
“Good. So from now on focus on Vittoria and I will focus on the children and we won’t need to speak of this again as we both have agreed it’s a mistake.”
“Yes.”
“And we’re both agreeing now that it will not happen again. There will be no further contact between us, and no physical intimacy.” She hesitated. “Will you tell her what happened? Will you tell her about the kiss?”
He didn’t answer immediately, then he nodded abruptly. “I should, yes.” And then he walked out, leaving her even more shaken then before.
* * *
Kissing Marcu had been a horrendous mistake and the memory of his warmth and touch and taste haunted her all night, making sleep almost impossible. Every time she began dreaming, it was of him, and being in his arms and in his bed and completing what had begun between them so many years ago.
By the time morning came, Monet was exhausted and tense and wishing she was back in London, in the safety of her flat. She wasn’t safe here—not because Marcu would force himself on her, but because she didn’t trust herself anymore. Not with him.
That kiss last night...
That kiss had stirred something dark and dangerous and altogether too unpredictable awake within her, making her feel things she didn’t want to feel, things she’d only ever felt with Marcu.
He needed to go. He needed to leave Aosta as soon as possible and settle things with Vittoria so she could leave the Italian Alps, too. London had never been so appealing.
* * *
Midmorning, Monet and the children walked to Aosta village again, the children’s snow boots tramping snow and crunching ice as they talked about nothing and everything. Their chatter made Monet smile because it was sweet and they were so kind to each other. Marcu might be strict and distant but his children were definitely loving.
“Oh, there’s the Christmas market again,” Rocca said, pointing to the stands and booths in the middle of the Roman theater. “I really do wish we could visit it.”
“I’ll ask your father,” Monet answered.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Matteo said. “He will just say we can’t come to town anymore and I like coming here.”
“Why won’t he approve?” Monet persisted.
“Because he doesn’t like Christmas,” Rocca said bluntly. “It makes him mad. He thinks it’s better to not make such a fuss at this time of year, and focus instead on winter sports.”
Monet tugged on her gloves, pulling them higher. “Is that why the castello isn’t festive? I’ve noticed there are no decorations, no Christmas tree.”
“We don’t ever have a Christmas tree,” Rocca added.
“Not even in Palermo?” she clarified, and was dismayed when the children shook their heads. This didn’t make sense. In Palermo, at the palazzo, Christmas was important, special. In the six years she had spent in Sicily, the Uberto family celebrated Christmas in a big way, kicking off the season on December eighth when family and staff came together to decorate the house. The Uberto family celebrated both Italian and Sicilian traditions, and it was the highlight of the year.
“Since when?” she asked. “Because when I was living with your father’s family in Palermo we most definitely celebrated Christmas. Your grandfather Matteo adored Christmas. It was his favorite time of year.”
The children just shrugged and gave each other swift glances, but this time Monet saw the worry, and the secret they were keeping. “What are you not telling me? I can see it in your eyes, and your faces. You’re not very good liars—which I might add is a good thing—so come on, tell me. You can trust me. Remember, I’ve known your father for many, many years. Why don’t you have a tree and do festive things?”
“It’s because this is when my mamma died,” Rocca blurted.
Matteo nodded grimly. “She died December sixteenth.”
“After Antonio was born,” Rocca added.
“Me,” Antonio chimed in.
December sixteenth had been yesterday. Galeta had died three years ago yesterday.
Monet held her breath, overwhelmed. “Antonio, you must have just had a birthday,” she said.
“Last week,” Rocca answered for him, giving her brother a little pat.
Monet’s heart went out to the children. So much had happened in their lives. There had been so much loss and pain. And then she thought of Marcu, and their conversation last night, and she understood him a little better, understood his pain and desperation better. For three years he’d been grieving and he was desperate for the grief to end. He was desperate for some kind of normalcy for his children, even if he was going about it the wrong way.
“It’s cold,” Rocca said, clapping her hands.
“Let’s keep walking,” Monet said, “before you turn to icicles.”
Antonio laughed and took Monet’s hand but Matteo walked ahead, shoulders hunched. Monet let him walk ahead for a while and then stopped him as they neared the village. “What are you thinking about?”
“I remember when we did have a Christmas tree,” he said quietly. “We still do have a presepi, but it’s not out yet. Maybe we didn’t bring it from home.”
Monet knew the presepi, or Nativity, was the most important element of every Italian home at Christmas. The presepi at the palazzo was over a hundred years old, had been hand-carved in Naples, and the gorgeous figurines had filled her with wonder every year.
“What if we do a few festive things together? Just because your father doesn’t enjoy the holiday as much as he once did, doesn’t mean you can’t.” She was silent a moment, then added, “Maybe we just have to remind him h
ow beautiful Christmas really is.”
“He won’t like it,” Rocca answered quickly. “We tried once to decorate a little tree in the nursery at the palazzo and he threw it away.”
“Well, he can’t throw away something that I buy, not if it’s mine,” Monet answered.
“Papà will make you.”
“No, he can’t. He won’t. I might work for him, but he doesn’t own me.”
The children gave her a pitying look, which didn’t sit well with her at all, and not only because she wasn’t the least bit afraid of their father, but also because they didn’t realize that it was the Uberto family that had taught her how magical Christmas could be. And it would be magical for these children, even if she had to give them the magic in little bites.
“I understand your concerns,” Monet said cheerfully, “but what about me? What about my holiday? I can’t be expected to go through Christmas without fun, can I? In London everything is so festive and beautiful right now. There are gorgeous lights and decorations everywhere, and all the stores and restaurants have dressed up their windows. Even the store I worked in had Christmas trees and decorations on every floor. My department was silver and white, with a huge silver Christmas tree with thousands of white lights just across from my desk.”
“But that was London,” Matteo said regretfully. “And this is Italy.”
“And Italians love Christmas. Sicilians love Christmas.”
“But not Papà, and we really think you’d better ask our father.” Matteo glanced at his siblings and gave them a sad look, before looking back at her. “He hates surprises.”
“I will, because I hate being disappointed.”
* * *
Marcu made it on time for dinner and Monet really wished she could have been excused to let Marcu and his children eat together without her, but Marcu seemed to think a nanny’s presence was necessary for everything.
She did make a point of saying little during the meal so the conversation could be between the children and their father, but Marcu didn’t ask them very many questions and the children volunteered very little information and conversation petered out before it really began.
