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Charlotte’s heart fell, and her insides went icy cold. She clasped her hands together, feeling chilled to the bone. “When was this?”
“A couple of years ago,” Elena answered. “I don’t even know what’s happened to her—”
“I thought the flowers were gorgeous last night,” Livia said, cutting Elena off. “They were roses and peonies, weren’t they?”
Charlotte nodded vaguely, unable to focus on the question. Brando had been through all of this before? He’d nearly married another woman because he thought she was pregnant, and apparently, all his family had known.
And here he was, years later, going through it all again. No wonder he was good at planning weddings. The whole celebration last night had been a show...a sham...
My God, what had his whole family been thinking last night as they watched him marry her? Charlotte put a hand to her middle, suddenly feeling as though she might be sick. “I think I need to get some food,” she said unsteadily, rising. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll see what I can find.”
She waited until late afternoon and everyone had gone before approaching Brando about what she’d learned from Elena and Livia. She found him in his ground-floor study so lined with antique volumes that it probably was a former library. He was at his desk, reading through a document, looking relaxed and bronzed as if he’d spent his afternoon swimming.
He looked up with a smile as she entered the room with its golden paneling and rich wood accents. “How was your rest?”
“Boring.” She took a seat across from his desk. “Not very restful.” She hesitated, trying to figure out how to broach the subject that had troubled her all day. The more she’d thought about it, the more upset she became. “I heard a story today,” she said carefully. “Elena told me. But Livia was there and verified it. Apparently they nearly got a different sister-in-law a couple of years ago. Elena says they didn’t like her much. Thankfully she likes me more.” Charlotte stared at a button on Brando’s shirt, unable to meet his eyes. “It was a bit embarrassing to realize you’ve been through all this before—”
“I haven’t.”
“Apparently, you have. You get a woman pregnant, and you marry her.”
“I’ve never been married before. There have been no weddings, no engagements, no babies. You’re the first.”
“But this other woman... You would have married her if it had been your baby?”
“Yes.”
Her heart did that awful freefall again, plummeting all the way to her feet. Charlotte wasn’t special. He had no real feelings for her. Brando was just going through the motions.
“But Charlotte, it wasn’t mine. We didn’t marry. None of this is relevant,” he said, leaning forward in his seat. “You can’t let Elena upset you over something so trivial—”
“Trivial?” Charlotte interrupted. “Marriage changes everything, and marrying you has turned my life inside out. Having a baby would have been a significant change, but this...becoming your wife...moving to Tuscany... I’ve given up everything I am, and everything I’ve known, for you—”
“Not for me, for our child, for our family.”
“No, Brando,” she corrected, getting to her feet, hands clasped tightly together. “I agreed to marriage because I would be marrying you. Just for clarification, I wouldn’t have married anyone else. I married you because it’s you.”
She left his study then, and headed outside to walk the rose garden, and then circle the castello grounds, ending up near the fountain in the historic walled garden.
Brando found her in the walled garden, pacing around the gravel like a caged animal. “The walking doesn’t seem to be calming you.”
She shot him a look of reproach. “I’m not calm, no.”
“You’re getting yourself agitated over nothing. Charlotte, there was no one else—”
“Oh, Brando, please. Don’t say that. Let’s not pretend there has never been anyone before me. Your bed is never empty. You never lack for female company.”
“When I’m in a serious, monogamous relationship, it’s serious and monogamous.”
“Define ‘serious relationship,’” she said, hands on her hips as she faced him.
“Affection, attachment, respect, monogamous.”
“Is that what we have?”
“You’re my wife. My family.”
His words were beginning to make her feel a little mad. “Yes, but you feel affection, attachment, respect for me?”
“Yes.”
“We’re to be faithful to each other?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“And this is what you offer your significant others? This is the most you offer? Affection, attachment, respect?”
His jaw set, his eyes narrowed. “Last night you were content with me, and hopeful about the future. Today, you throw it all back in my face? Because Elena thoughtlessly mentioned someone from my past?”
Furious tears burned the back of her eyes. “I’m not a replacement bride—”
“No, you’re not. But I don’t know what you want from me, Charlotte. I don’t even know how to talk to you right now. We had a beautiful wedding last night. We had our friends and family here. You thanked me last night for making it a special day, but suddenly, based on something Elena said, it’s not enough?”
She didn’t know how to explain, but she felt as if there was an injustice here. In marrying him, she’d lost everything she’d known—her home, her name, her identity, her independence. And he’d lost nothing other than his ability to sleep with whomever he wanted. Because he hadn’t really given up anything. He didn’t have to change, or even feel too much, because he didn’t feel too much.
“This was a mistake,” she said hoarsely, mouth dry, stomach in knots. “I didn’t marry out of duty. It’s not why I agreed to this.”
“We’re doing this for our son,” he answered.
“This marriage will make us miserable. I refuse to raise a baby in a home where we’re miserable.”
“I’m not miserable.”
“Because you don’t love. You lust—”
“Charlotte.”
“Where are your emotions? And what do you really feel for me? Affection...desire?”
“Yes.”
“It’s not enough.”
“Our attachment will grow.”
She was already attached, though. She already cared. What was she supposed to do, wait for him to catch up? Hope he might one day have more feelings for her?
“I don’t want this marriage,” she said lowly. “I don’t want to be part of any of this. You’re not who I thought you were. We don’t have what I thought we have.”
He closed the distance between them, hands settling on her upper arms. “You’re working yourself up over nothing. Adele meant nothing to me. I swear—”
“Isn’t that the whole issue?” she cried, looking up into his face. “You don’t care about any of them you’ve been with. You love sex, the act of sex, but you don’t love the women you’re with, and you will never love me.” She tried to pull away but he didn’t release her. Charlotte pushed his chest, and still he held her. “See, it’s already a trap. I’m trapped. I knew this would happen. It’s what marriage does... It changes people...changes the power balance between two people.”
He gave her a gentle shake. “Nothing has changed, Charlotte.”
Her chest burned and her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t catch her breath. Her emotions were chaotic, her control splintering. Where was the Charlotte who was so capable of dealing with crises that she could virtually do it in her sleep? She needed that Charlotte to show up, right now. “I shouldn’t have agreed to marry you. I shouldn’t have let you convince me it was the right thing to do. It’s not, and I can’t pretend like you, can’t fake happiness.” She struggled to pluck his fingers from her arm. “
I can’t live with you. I won’t live with you—”
“The baby—”
“The baby will be fine. I promise you I’ll make sure of that.” She reached up and pressed a hand to her eyes to hold back the tears. She wouldn’t cry now. She had to keep it together. “I’d like to return to Florence. I’ll get a small apartment for the rest of the summer—”
“That’s absurd.”
“I’ll be close to the hospital should anything happen,” she added, continuing as if he hadn’t interrupted. “I promise to keep you informed. I won’t take any risks. You won’t have to worry about me.”
“I don’t understand any of this.”
“That’s the problem, Brando. You don’t understand this, because you don’t understand me. I didn’t marry you to give the baby your name. I didn’t marry you to do the right thing. I married you because—” She broke off, tears filling her eyes. “I married you because I wanted to be with you.”
